WHERE did you meet up with MM/MW?

[happygirl1234]

And, what's so kinky that you think he can't handle. I suspect that many spouse can if given the chance.

 

Don't get me wrong, Pyroguy. My H can "handle" it in the sense that he's game for it. He gets an "A" for effort! But he reaches orgasm so quickly (gets him too excited) that it doesn't last very long-- even shorter than usual. So I often end up frustrated and have to go masturbate in the bathroom so he won't feel bad about it. I could masturbate in front of him, but once he's spent, there's really no sense in it.

[happygirl1234]

I had a lover once that took Viagra for kicks. He was friends with a doc that gave him a sample. He didn't need it, just wanted to see what would happen. It was like he was 16 again! I thought that guy was never gonna c*m. And he was ready to go again 15 minutes later. It was totally fun!

 

I wish I could say this was the case with my H. He takes Cialis. It works in the sense that he can get an erection and orgasm. But it doesn't make him last.

[JustJoe]

HG, the one consideration that has been pointed out by a few others, is that you two work together. Most Affairs are found out, something like 90%. Office Affairs are closer to 100% If You work with him and are ****ing him, YOU WILL GET CAUGHT!! Somebody will notice and tell, you can bet the farm on it. If the rush is worth it for you, knock yourself out. Liz's idea about the Winnebago isn't that bad, but get one of the pop-up kind of RV. You can park them in different locations, raise the top and Voila` instant sex salon.

[greengoddess]

Is this for real? Iget the feeling you are making fun of affairs.

 

So you are still happily in love with your husband and having sex quite often but he doesn't last long enough? So you are willing to throw your marraige away over this?

 

Enjoy the sex. Have fun. You are going to live to regret this though when you crush your husband. He will find out. So sad.

[xxoo]

I was just listening to Playboy radio the other day, and the host and her partners were talking about this. They are very sexual uninhibited people and the majority didn't need marathon pounding. The whole experience was important, and if all was well , the actual intercouse didn't need to go on and on. Like I said, these are all experienced sexual women who say this, yet you hear some of these women who claim to want to be pounded forever. I never met those women either:rolleyes: only on the internet

 

Hmmm...maybe because this was Playboy radio and they were catering to a male audience? Making guys feel good about themselves? Or maybe these women were not typical (does Playboy ever represent typical women?), and were quicker to orgasm than the typical woman?

 

It is normal for women to need stimulation over time to achieve orgasm. Not "forever", but several minutes of intercourse is needed for many women to climax with intercourse.

 

So I often end up frustrated and have to go masturbate in the bathroom so he won't feel bad about it. I could masturbate in front of him, but once he's spent, there's really no sense in it.

 

Why not?

 

Why isn't he helping you orgasm after he's spent? Communicate! You are worried about him feeling bad? Do you think he'll feel better when he finds out you cheated? It sounds like you guys have some major issues to work through in the bedroom if you plan to stay together forever.

[pyroguy]

Hmmm...maybe because this was Playboy radio and they were catering to a male audience? Making guys feel good about themselves? Or maybe these women were not typical (does Playboy ever represent typical women?), and were quicker to orgasm than the typical woman?

 

It is normal for women to need stimulation over time to achieve orgasm. Not "forever", but several minutes of intercourse is needed for many women to climax with intercourse.

 

 

 

Why not?

 

Why isn't he helping you orgasm after he's spent? Communicate! You are worried about him feeling bad? Do you think he'll feel better when he finds out you cheated? It sounds like you guys have some major issues to work through in the bedroom if you plan to stay together forever.

 

No, you have the wrong idea about the show. It's a call-in show about sex and relationships, and women listen too. It's not some lame male fantasy thing.

 

Of course, more than several minutes. They were talking about all these stories of people claiming they had intercourse for an hour:rolleyes: etc., that's a long time. What they were saying is that wasn't needed and mostly unwanted. If anything I think it tries to make men feel like **** about themselves.Yes, more than a few minutes, and yes, of course I know it takes more for a woman:rolleyes:.

 

So, the OP does have a point there. It's not unreasonable to expect more-for sure. Still, her solution is extreme, and how does she rate herself sexually. I find that too many people in this spot don't look at themselves and their performance. Maybe she's a porn star in bed-just saying though.

[lolapalooza]

I wish I could say this was the case with my H. He takes Cialis. It works in the sense that he can get an erection and orgasm. But it doesn't make him last.

What about a cock ring? (Am I allowed to say that here?)

[saywhat]

Lola, your post has me laughing out loud. If you can't say that...it's too late! Lol!

 

But yeah, have you tried that? Or the one that vibrates a little?

[Passion4Life]

Lola, your post has me laughing out loud. If you can't say that...it's too late! Lol!

 

But yeah, have you tried that? Or the one that vibrates a little?

 

same here , I too feel its too late:D

[Just a stone's throw]

No, you have the wrong idea about the show. It's a call-in show about sex and relationships, and women listen too. It's not some lame male fantasy thing.

 

Of course, more than several minutes. They were talking about all these stories of people claiming they had intercourse for an hour:rolleyes: etc., that's a long time. What they were saying is that wasn't needed and mostly unwanted. If anything I think it tries to make men feel like **** about themselves.Yes, more than a few minutes, and yes, of course I know it takes more for a woman:rolleyes:.

 

So, the OP does have a point there. It's not unreasonable to expect more-for sure. Still, her solution is extreme, and how does she rate herself sexually. I find that too many people in this spot don't look at themselves and their performance. Maybe she's a porn star in bed-just saying though.

 

 

I'm actually going to have to side with HappyGirl here. And your PB radio was not accurate in my case. Prior to my A (which BTW was just about sex and was negotiated ahead of time that there were no plans on either of us to tell or leave spouses, it was a FWB situation) my view on sex with H was that it was just what it was. My husband's performance sounds a lot like HG's husband's though mine will not seek out the medicinal fix at this point. He has some staying power but then can't finish (he gets into his own head, sts).

 

I found the sex with MM to be so atypical from what I was used to. If we had somewhere to go (not a back seat or office) the romp always lasted an hour or more and multiple O's were had by both of us. That was the allure and what totally got me hooked. I have never experienced that from a guy and it was totally freaking fanatastic and why I got so addicted.

 

Again, HG when it ends and unfortunately all good things do come to an end, how will you face him at work once you're done? Have you considered that? Even if noone else knows, it's still hard to have to work with each other and keep it together having the knowledge of what you've gone through together and then just be "colleagues".

[pyroguy]

I'm actually going to have to side with HappyGirl here. And your PB radio was not accurate in my case. Prior to my A (which BTW was just about sex and was negotiated ahead of time that there were no plans on either of us to tell or leave spouses, it was a FWB situation) my view on sex with H was that it was just what it was. My husband's performance sounds a lot like HG's husband's though mine will not seek out the medicinal fix at this point. He has some staying power but then can't finish (he gets into his own head, sts).

 

I found the sex with MM to be so atypical from what I was used to. If we had somewhere to go (not a back seat or office) the romp always lasted an hour or more and multiple O's were had by both of us. That was the allure and what totally got me hooked. I have never experienced that from a guy and it was totally freaking fanatastic and why I got so addicted.

 

Again, HG when it ends and unfortunately all good things do come to an end, how will you face him at work once you're done? Have you considered that? Even if noone else knows, it's still hard to have to work with each other and keep it together having the knowledge of what you've gone through together and then just be "colleagues".

 

Ok, what can I say. Carry on-you gals are perfect. I just hope that women will be as compassionate when I cheat because my wife has gained 50 lbs. Or, I can find better oral.

 

I hate to seem so harsh, but I guess as a guy, I place myself in his shoes, and I feel bad for these guys, even if their performance falls short. I mean, you do realize their is certainly always better looking and better performing than you out there too, no? if not, I think you're a bit naive.

 

In any event, it's the OP's life. I hope she posts the on-going results. I like the gossip and juicy details, since it's not my life. Still, forgive me, I feel very bad for your husband and the OP's husband. I'm compassionate that way, and would feel just as bad for any wife in the same spot as the husbands.

[bentnotbroken]

Actually... we just went to a field behind a church a few times, and in my car parked in a stranger's driveway, and finally a cheap motel. It was all very exciting! I left my morals at the door, and it felt so good, and fun![/QUOTE]

 

 

I wonder about this. How do you separate your morals from who you are? It sounds like you put them on and take them off like an article of cloths....I don't understand this concept.

[Just a stone's throw]

 

Ok, what can I say. Carry on-you gals are perfect. I just hope that women will be as compassionate when I cheat because my wife has gained 50 lbs. Or, I can find better oral.

 

I hate to seem so harsh, but I guess as a guy, I place myself in his shoes, and I feel bad for these guys, even if their performance falls short. I mean, you do realize their is certainly always better looking and better performing than you out there too, no? if not, I think you're a bit naive.

 

In any event, it's the OP's life. I hope she posts the on-going results. I like the gossip and juicy details, since it's not my life. Still, forgive me, I feel very bad for your husband and the OP's husband. I'm compassionate that way, and would feel just as bad for any wife in the same spot as the husbands.

 

Pyro - I didn't say this is what I was continuing to do. I was stating that was what made EX MM attractive to me and why it was different. I am working diligently to make my M work and focusing on my sexual relationship with my husband. I was responding to what you said was common place about multiples and going for long periods of time and it was not my experience.

[saywhat]

Pyro...I have to agree with you...

 

I think that there are so many ways to help sexual performance...I am curious if all of them have been tried. I just think that sex, and sex alone is a silly reason to ruin a marriage (or two...). It doesn't sound like there are any huge problems (according to the poster) aside from the sex.

 

The first step is to talk about it...if you are going off and masterbating in the bathroom for satisfaction, I get the feeling you haven't said enough about the problem...

[pyroguy]

Pyro - I didn't say this is what I was continuing to do. I was stating that was what made EX MM attractive to me and why it was different. I am working diligently to make my M work and focusing on my sexual relationship with my husband. I was responding to what you said was common place about multiples and going for long periods of time and it was not my experience.

 

Yea, but now your husband will never "measure up", no matter what he does-most likely, if he knows. I couldn't deal with it. He's better than me if he can, and I don't care what people say about ego. Men have the right to have an ego. For me, I work hard to be in-shape and am up for anything sexually. So, i'd be shocked and bitter if I ever found myself in your situation. Then again, I'm transferring that to your situation, and I don't know the whole story.

 

The point about the length was more about continuous intercourse for an hour-that's a long time. Foreplay-including oral, intercourse, maybe a break (or starting over almost immediately)then another round, yes,of course-could be well over an hour-several hours.

[herenow]

So is the question where to do it, or how to pay for it?

 

If you want a regular bed and can't go to a home, then it would seem like the best option would be a hotel or motel. Why not just split the cost 50/50? Simple and easy. Have fun!

[happygirl1234]

I'm actually going to have to side with HappyGirl here. And your PB radio was not accurate in my case. Prior to my A (which BTW was just about sex and was negotiated ahead of time that there were no plans on either of us to tell or leave spouses, it was a FWB situation) my view on sex with H was that it was just what it was. My husband's performance sounds a lot like HG's husband's though mine will not seek out the medicinal fix at this point. He has some staying power but then can't finish (he gets into his own head, sts).

 

I found the sex with MM to be so atypical from what I was used to. If we had somewhere to go (not a back seat or office) the romp always lasted an hour or more and multiple O's were had by both of us. That was the allure and what totally got me hooked. I have never experienced that from a guy and it was totally freaking fanatastic and why I got so addicted.

 

Again, HG when it ends and unfortunately all good things do come to an end, how will you face him at work once you're done? Have you considered that? Even if noone else knows, it's still hard to have to work with each other and keep it together having the knowledge of what you've gone through together and then just be "colleagues".

 

Stone's Throw, how did your A end? Did you mutually decide to call it quits? What triggered the ending? You ask a good question about how I would face him at work once it's over... I don't know the answer. I have always had an uncanny ability to be friends with ex-lovers. In fact, I would be good friends with all of them, if their new GFs and wives weren't so jealous of me that they forced the guy to cut off all contact with me! I always thought this was funny, since once I'm done with a guy, I'm done with him! I've never gone back to someone once it's over. But I know that we women are always worried that our man will rekindle a flame if the woman shows any renewed interest, so better safe than sorry, I suppose.

 

My point is that my experience tells me that I could be good friends with this guy after it's over. But that holds true ONLY if I am sure that there would be no feelings developing. Right now, I respect/admire and LIKE him a lot. We get along incredibly well, have lots in common. Same strange sense of humor and political views. But this is dangerous, I know. And though I can now say that I "like" him, I am worried about having sex with him and developing something more, even though I don't have any intentions right now of doing so..... But feelings are hard to predict, and this is making me hesitate big time. Definitely do NOT want any feelings to develop-- THAT would ruin my marriage, which I don't want to do.

 

So Stone Throw's story is really intriguing to me. That's why I'm wondering how it went, and how it ended.....

[happygirl1234]

Lola, your post has me laughing out loud. If you can't say that...it's too late! Lol!

 

But yeah, have you tried that? Or the one that vibrates a little?

 

Haven't tried cock rings. Do they make erections last, or just make them harder?

[aerogurl87]

I agree with Pyro, this is just sad. So what your husband can't last forever, it's not the end of the world. But when he leaves you because you cheated on him it will be. Sex isn't everything and I certainly don't think it's worth risking screwing up your whole life for. Because once this affair gets out (and it will) your career, family life, and personal life will be in shambles. And really do you want your child to grow up knowing that mommy cheated on daddy because she had a little crush on some hot guy at work? I'm not one to condone affairs, but when people do them because their in a loveless or abusive marriage, I can have some empathy for them. That I can actually comprehend. But this, this is just childish.

 

Anyway if you really want to have an affair go get a hotel room, they don't cost alot. And if you can't even do that then you don't need to be having an affair. It's not rocket science. Think like teenagers who can't screw each other while at home and you'll come up with some options.

[Just a stone's throw]

Stone's Throw, how did your A end? Did you mutually decide to call it quits? What triggered the ending? You ask a good question about how I would face him at work once it's over...

 

 

So Stone Throw's story is really intriguing to me. That's why I'm wondering how it went, and how it ended.....

 

Well not sure if you know this trick yet on LS but if you click on the poster's name, it will drop down a menu and you can see all the other posts by them. (I apologize if you already knew that). I hate to bore people with my story as it's quite similar to others, just a FWB twist.

 

But it ended with him calling NC (which has been LC since we have a professional relationship) because he was feeling extremely guilty. He just couldn't do it anymore. So far, it's been effective for us, we only chat about work or community related issues and only when necessary. It's quite boring but has been the turning point for me getting my head out of my A$$ so that I don't lose my husband or marriage.

 

We have yet to run into each other as I have left that job and moved on (prior to the end of the A). But we will. That will be very strange. I didn't want to develop feelings for him and his arrogance and things he would distance himself with me on made that possible. But the feelings still developed (want what you can't have, don't know what you'd do with it if you actually got it- type of thing).

 

Honestly, I didn't know I was capable of doing what I did until I was in the thick of it, didn't know I was "that unhappy" in my marriage until I did it (still haven't been able to accept that I am unhappy in my marriage). And I learned a heck of a lot about myself both physically and mentally when it did happen so to say I wished it hadn't - yes and no. I wish I hadn't have done this to my husband and my marriage. That part I really regret.

 

My Mom always used to say: Don't do as I do, do as I say.... Well, I guess I lived up to that one, I did what my Dad did instead and had an A.... Words to live by, Mom.

 

I am not the poster child for how to deal with these things, that's for sure.

[pyroguy]

I agree with Pyro, this is just sad. So what your husband can't last forever, it's not the end of the world. But when he leaves you because you cheated on him it will be. Sex isn't everything and I certainly don't think it's worth risking screwing up your whole life for. Because once this affair gets out (and it will) your career, family life, and personal life will be in shambles. And really do you want your child to grow up knowing that mommy cheated on daddy because she had a little crush on some hot guy at work? I'm not one to condone affairs, but when people do them because their in a loveless or abusive marriage, I can have some empathy for them. That I can actually comprehend. But this, this is just childish.

 

Anyway if you really want to have an affair go get a hotel room, they don't cost alot. And if you can't even do that then you don't need to be having an affair. It's not rocket science. Think like teenagers who can't screw each other while at home and you'll come up with some options.

 

 

Yea, but if I was the husband's, I wouldn't even want their leftover fake affection. If they're not sexually into me, so be it.

 

These women seem so matter of fact about it, and that they want their marriage to last-why? the husband now has a woman who doesn't value hime sexually. They are sentencing him to a lifetime of this. That's a long time. Why be with him? Don't you want him to be happy and desired? doesn't he deserve that?

[Just a stone's throw]

Yea, but if I was the husband's, I wouldn't even want their leftover fake affection. If they're not sexually into me, so be it.

 

These women seem so matter of fact about it, and that they want their marriage to last-why? the husband now has a woman who doesn't value hime sexually. They are sentencing him to a lifetime of this. That's a long time. Why be with him? Don't you want him to be happy and desired? doesn't he deserve that?

 

Pyro, I am assuming you are lumping all of us together and I don't think that is fair. I have faced the reality of our sexual issues and we have gone to counseling for it to work on it together. If you want to comment on the OP that is fine but please leave me out of it. I am not condoning what she is suggesting and am hoping she sees what I have experienced as a deterent. But for me to say "Don't do it" is hypocritical. I hope she makes a wiser choice than I did.

[dreamingoftigers]

Yea, but if I was the husband's, I wouldn't even want their leftover fake affection. If they're not sexually into me, so be it.

 

These women seem so matter of fact about it, and that they want their marriage to last-why? the husband now has a woman who doesn't value hime sexually. They are sentencing him to a lifetime of this. That's a long time. Why be with him? Don't you want him to be happy and desired? doesn't he deserve that?

 

 

I totally don't get women like this either Pyro. I don't get why so many people get married these days. Temptation is out there, but really, how hard is it to have some basic respect for someone you vowed to love?

 

HG -

 

So love and really hot sex are mutually exclusive for you? Grow up and pick one. Adulthood is about sacrificing for real gain.

 

My husband and I have sexual issues. We have more issues then the UN. I chose to selfishly love my family because I believe that that is where the best things in my life will come from.

 

Your H is not just a sex object to get you high, neither is this other guy. They are people and since you chose to have a person in your life, that comes with their imperfections too.

 

Logistically I would say the best place for you to have your affair would be your front yard so that everyone would know the truth about you. it would actually be the most self-respecting thing you could do for yourself if you chose to go through with the affair. You would actually be being honest.

[dreamingoftigers]

This thread isn't about me. And frankly, I couldn't give a rat's a$$ what you think about me. Feel free to put me on Ignore

My understanding is this board is for support for those who find themselves in a relationship with a committed person. This is NOT a board on HOW to have a f*ckfest with a committed person.

I thought the OP's tone was incredibly flippant and disrespectful. The comment about a green dot card being "devious" is appauling. I thought she was a troll until I read her previous posts on another board. Most of them advised her NOT to have an affair. It looked as if she didn't get the answer she wanted from them, so she came to us. Like we wouldn't care if she's potentially screwing up her own life and 3 others all for a roll in the hay. Did she think all of us OW have some sort of secret tip sheet that we give out if you're part of the sisterhood?

 

So here's my final post on this thread:

OP- Good luck with the logistics of your dalliance. Do feel free to come back when any of the following have happened:

You have your fun, but inevitably one of you gets in over you head and finds themselves either a) in love and wanting more or b) overcome with guilt and just wanting to forget about it while the other doesn't. Or c) you get caught because you haven't planned very well, and now two other people you never intended to hurt are devestated.

Good luck and have fun.

 

I think you are pretty well-balanced. I also think it is great that you are a reformed OW. Hope this doesn't offend.

[MizzBlue72]

OK -to the OP - Get a hotel room. He pays, you pay. There you go, settled.

 

As for the No Strings Attached (NSA) affairs?? FORGET IT!!!!!! My A started that way - exactly.

 

As for setting ground rules? Check - did that too (I think most of us on here did that).

 

Don't do this. Don't start an A. If you TRULY love your husband, and all that is lacking is kinkiness in the bedroom, hell. Buy a liberator, let him tie you up and use a vibe on you!! Have him put some nipple clamps on you and watch a porn together!! I mean - how many husbands wouldn't want the opportunity to TRY at least to spice it up?? Or - have sex with hubby with a condom on. They say this can condition the guy to last longer. Hell- have him MASTURBATE with the condom on, and each time he will learn to hold it longer.

 

There are many MANY ways to get him more engaged - if you REALLY TRULY want to.

 

As for the ending of the A?? If you haven't thought this out yet, you should. If you are not prepared to pay the price of losing everything, then you aren't ready to have an A.

 

End of discussion from me. Seriously - many women would kill for a husband the LOVE that is just lousy in bed!! Hell- if that had been my situation - I would still BE there!!!!

 

Good luck.