jthorne Posted April 9, 2010 Posted April 9, 2010 When I hear about cheaters it sounds like more drama and work than it worth. You have to be careful not to get caught and sometimes set up fake email address, phone numbers and go to all these lengths to not get caught. It seems exhausting to me when people can just put all that effort into making the relationship the best it could or if things are really bad just leave. Why do people put themselves through all this drama?What's in bold is EXACTLY why some like to cheat. They LIKE the drama of setting up fake email addresses, they LIKE the drama involved with not getting caught. For some, the drama surrounding an affair is more exciting than the affair itself.
sally4sara Posted April 9, 2010 Posted April 9, 2010 That is an issue for another thread and I do not feel I put myself through drama. I have never cheated in my life. Every time you change your behavior towards your wife as a response to other women - you cheat on her. You are having an emotional affair with these women even if it isn't one of love or lust. Your involvement with them robs your wife of credibility and endearment. You allowed them to affect your marriage and leave you wife no power in the result or outcome by your secrecy over what motivated it. These two women are your dirty little secret.
Author Woggle Posted April 9, 2010 Author Posted April 9, 2010 Every time you change your behavior towards your wife as a response to other women - you cheat on her. You are having an emotional affair with these women even if it isn't one of love or lust. Your involvement with them robs your wife of credibility and endearment. You allowed them to affect your marriage and leave you wife no power in the result or outcome by your secrecy over what motivated it. These two women are your dirty little secret. Trust me when I say I have no affection for any of these women.
sally4sara Posted April 9, 2010 Posted April 9, 2010 Trust me when I say I have no affection for any of these women. Once again, what I say goes sailing over your head. Pointless.
Author Woggle Posted April 9, 2010 Author Posted April 9, 2010 Once again, what I say goes sailing over your head. Pointless. I know what you mean but according to your logic anything somebody does seperate from their spouse can be considered cheating. When my wife goes to Atlantic City with her buddies that is cheating and when I visit my old friends in New York that is cheating as well.
TaraMaiden Posted April 9, 2010 Posted April 9, 2010 Sally... don't take it personally. You're not alone. Whenever either men or women might tell him (in so many words) that he's being an idiot - he goes selectively deaf.
sally4sara Posted April 9, 2010 Posted April 9, 2010 I know what you mean but according to your logic anything somebody does seperate from their spouse can be considered cheating. When my wife goes to Atlantic City with her buddies that is cheating and when I visit my old friends in New York that is cheating as well. No you don't know what I mean. What you're doing isn't akin to your wife going to AC with her buddies. Her going to AC with her buddies doesn't result in you getting treated badly and not knowing why it is happening. You take what these two women say and let it affect your marriage and treatment of your wife. That is how you cheat. You do to your wife exactly what these women do to their husbands - get pay back against women like these two by dishing it out to your wife. You don't credit her for the work she does or the love she gives. You instead ignore it, focus on these two and let it dictate how you treat your wife all without letting her know what motivates it. This is you cheating on your wife.
sally4sara Posted April 9, 2010 Posted April 9, 2010 Sally... don't take it personally. You're not alone. Whenever either men or women might tell him (in so many words) that he's being an idiot - he goes selectively deaf. And don't think I don't know it. I'm just bored right now.
Author Woggle Posted April 9, 2010 Author Posted April 9, 2010 So my mother was cheating on my father with her misandrist friends if you apply this theory?
sally4sara Posted April 9, 2010 Posted April 9, 2010 So my mother was cheating on my father with her misandrist friends if you apply this theory? Yes she was cheating.
Author Woggle Posted April 9, 2010 Author Posted April 9, 2010 Maybe you do have a point but it is not done out of maliciousness from my end. It is about self protection and if I am not looking out for me who is.
sally4sara Posted April 9, 2010 Posted April 9, 2010 Maybe you do have a point but it is not done out of maliciousness from my end. It is about self protection and if I am not looking out for me who is. All you have is excuses, tired old excuses. Flimsy justifications. What is it you need protection from? It certainly isn't who you're married to, so what is your point? Are there scary vampire misandrists invading your home at night?
Author Woggle Posted April 9, 2010 Author Posted April 9, 2010 All you have is excuses, tired old excuses. Flimsy justifications. What is it you need protection from? It certainly isn't who you're married to, so what is your point? Are there scary vampire misandrists invading your home at night? Sometimes the person that you trusted for years can betray you.
sally4sara Posted April 9, 2010 Posted April 9, 2010 Sometimes the person that you trusted for years can betray you. And sometimes people get tired of having to continuously prove themselves to someone who cannot live up their own expectations and they leave them behind in the dust screaming "SEEEEE I always knew you were a misandrist vampire!"
Twenty-ten Posted April 9, 2010 Posted April 9, 2010 Every time you change your behavior towards your wife as a response to other women - you cheat on her. You are having an emotional affair with these women even if it isn't one of love or lust. Your involvement with them robs your wife of credibility and endearment. You allowed them to affect your marriage and leave you wife no power in the result or outcome by your secrecy over what motivated it. These two women are your dirty little secret. Wow this is so profound Sally4!! It is exactly what he does. Woggle you should seriously heed her words, they are spot on for what you do, she is absolutely right. Every time you allow these other losers to infiltrate your mind with their poison your emotions will reflect back on your actions and it is your wife who is being cheated out of you. You as in the true you, the you she fell in love with and decided to marry based on the qualities that made her feel safe, loved and respected. And don't say it doesn't affect your actions because there is no way it can't. We act out what we carry in our conscious mind.
sally4sara Posted April 9, 2010 Posted April 9, 2010 How much work is involved in you hiding your feelings and your LS posting activity from your wife? We know you don't let her in on what you say about her on here - even the rare compliment. You already do everything a cheater does to continue cheating so how are you any different? It never seems to exhaust you to the point of stopping or changing your ways.
Pyro Posted April 9, 2010 Posted April 9, 2010 I for one am curious on how he gets away with all the time he uses up to post the same crap over and over. He spends quite a bit of time on here and spends some late night hours doing it. Her curiosity must be getting to her on what he does here on LS.
Author Woggle Posted April 9, 2010 Author Posted April 9, 2010 I listen to alot of music online and that is probably what she thinks I am doing.
Pyro Posted April 9, 2010 Posted April 9, 2010 I listen to alot of music online and that is probably what she thinks I am doing. you claim to be honest on here. Wh can't you be honest with her? You trusted her enough to agree to get married and to let her live with you. Communication isn't hard to accomplish.
Pyro Posted April 9, 2010 Posted April 9, 2010 Instead of posting here all the time, why not spend more time with her and get to know her better? You obviously don't know her well if you still have doubts. You may actually learn to trust her if you take the time to get to know her and see if her talk and actions are the same.
linwood Posted April 10, 2010 Posted April 10, 2010 The part that would kill me would be the constant stress from worrying about getting caught, wondering if I did or didn't do something, did I leave my computer on, did I not clear some history, did I delete messages from my phone, I also don't think I could handle the constant lying. Yeah this is the stuff that kills you. It isn`t worth it, not a second of it.
carhill Posted April 10, 2010 Posted April 10, 2010 When I hear about cheaters it sounds like more drama and work than it worth. You have to be careful not to get caught and sometimes set up fake email address, phone numbers and go to all these lengths to not get caught. It seems exhausting to me when people can just put all that effort into making the relationship the best it could or if things are really bad just leave. Why do people put themselves through all this drama? I did none of those things. Everything was out in the open. Stbx knew all my passwords and all the numbers I called or received calls from had verifiable names. She knew I was dissatisfied with her cold demeanor and suspected other things going on. I asked for what I needed for two years and then, with no reciprocation, got it somewhere else and went for divorce once I had my ducks in a row. I have no regrets. Any one of the number of married women who've hit on me prior to or since have been equally or more unfaithful to their marriages. The main lessons I learned are two-fold. Pick a more compatible partner and get a pre-nup. That's it.
TaraMaiden Posted April 10, 2010 Posted April 10, 2010 (edited) you claim to be honest on here. Wh can't you be honest with her? You trusted her enough to agree to get married and to let her live with you. Communication isn't hard to accomplish. Because the hypocrite will always blame others for the very things they do themselves. The problem is, his wife is completely innocent. but to him, she's slowly becoming the worst of the lot. Communication sticks like a fishbone in his throat, because he's scared that if he communicates with his wife - he'll find out he's been wrong about her all this time....and she will discover the true nature of the man she thought she knew.... Instead of posting here all the time, why not spend more time with her and get to know her better? You obviously don't know her well if you still have doubts. You may actually learn to trust her if you take the time to get to know her and see if her talk and actions are the same. What - ?! And allow for the possibility that he's been wrong about her all this time? Give her the opportunity to bring his warped thinking and blinkered opinion to the fore, and expose him for the crap he's been spouting? You have got to be kidding. That would rob him of his final victory. To be able to crow "see? I told you!" when she hopefully comes to her senses...... It's a hollow victory really though, when you know, in your heart of hearts, that the reasons you are gloating triumphantly for, are actually precipitated by your own blind folly.... Woggle: be very, very careful how you tread... be mindful of how wonderful your wife is, and ask yourself why you are actively seeking the atom granule of reason, to treat her with the contempt and disdain that you do... Edited April 10, 2010 by TaraMaiden
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