Woggle Posted April 8, 2010 Posted April 8, 2010 When I hear about cheaters it sounds like more drama and work than it worth. You have to be careful not to get caught and sometimes set up fake email address, phone numbers and go to all these lengths to not get caught. It seems exhausting to me when people can just put all that effort into making the relationship the best it could or if things are really bad just leave. Why do people put themselves through all this drama?
Fouts Posted April 8, 2010 Posted April 8, 2010 It's human nature to secure something new before you leave what you have. Most cheating is simply unsatisfied partners who are looking for a way out, but too insecure or afraid to walk away from what they have.
RobM Posted April 8, 2010 Posted April 8, 2010 The part that would kill me would be the constant stress from worrying about getting caught, wondering if I did or didn't do something, did I leave my computer on, did I not clear some history, did I delete messages from my phone, I also don't think I could handle the constant lying.
ADF Posted April 8, 2010 Posted April 8, 2010 Most people who habitually cheat--aka "players"--are doing it more for ego gratification than sexual gratification. They measure their manliness by their ability to "get over" on women--i.e. to trick them, seduce them and (often) humiliate them. If they don't do this, or don't do it well, they don't feel like "real men." The drama is worth it to them because their egos depend on it.
torranceshipman Posted April 8, 2010 Posted April 8, 2010 Lol Woggle, I agree completely. Aside from any moral issues I am way too lazy to go through the hassle of cheating. Man...what an effort. Some of us actually have jobs & stuff:D
lino Posted April 8, 2010 Posted April 8, 2010 When I hear about cheaters it sounds like more drama and work than it worth. You have to be careful not to get caught and sometimes set up fake email address, phone numbers and go to all these lengths to not get caught. It seems exhausting to me when people can just put all that effort into making the relationship the best it could or if things are really bad just leave. Why do people put themselves through all this drama? I agree. I see nothing inviting about cheating on someone. I've known and still do know several guys who do it without blinking an eye... And they keep doing it because it's easy for them and they continually get away with it, often even after being caught!!!
TaraMaiden Posted April 8, 2010 Posted April 8, 2010 When I hear about cheaters it sounds like more drama and work than it worth. You have to be careful not to get caught and sometimes set up fake email address, phone numbers and go to all these lengths to not get caught. It seems exhausting to me when people can just put all that effort into making the relationship the best it could or if things are really bad just leave. Why do people put themselves through all this drama? For exactly the same reasons you put yourself through the drama of belittling your wife's sincere feelings towards you, for exactly the same reasons you insist on tarring all women with the same brush (lying, insensitive, dishonest, two-faced and superficial), and for exactly the same reasons you refuse to address the real issue instead of offloading all the responsibility onto the shoulders of your SO. Because the results are pretty immediate and gratifying. It gets you the attention you crave, no matter how wrong or screwy it seems.
Author Woggle Posted April 8, 2010 Author Posted April 8, 2010 For exactly the same reasons you put yourself through the drama of belittling your wife's sincere feelings towards you, for exactly the same reasons you insist on tarring all women with the same brush (lying, insensitive, dishonest, two-faced and superficial), and for exactly the same reasons you refuse to address the real issue instead of offloading all the responsibility onto the shoulders of your SO. Because the results are pretty immediate and gratifying. It gets you the attention you crave, no matter how wrong or screwy it seems. This thread is not about me and my marriage.
quankanne Posted April 8, 2010 Posted April 8, 2010 Why do people put themselves through all this drama? because they're hooked into the energy of it all. And because they're dumbasses ... you know, like the two hoochies you work with? It's all they've got to validate their existence, when the reality of it is that it's just plain sad they've allowed themselves to get to this point.
TaraMaiden Posted April 8, 2010 Posted April 8, 2010 This thread is not about me and my marriage. I never said it was. You asked "why do people put themselves through all this drama?" and essentially, the reply I gave was - "You of all people need to ask?"
Author Woggle Posted April 8, 2010 Author Posted April 8, 2010 I never said it was. You asked "why do people put themselves through all this drama?" and essentially, the reply I gave was - "You of all people need to ask?" That is an issue for another thread and I do not feel I put myself through drama. I have never cheated in my life.
Twenty-ten Posted April 8, 2010 Posted April 8, 2010 I think it is a simple as people needing variety in long term relationships. If you think about when the concept of monogamy was created people's lifespans was around 40 yrs old. So if you think about it, 20yrs and less to stay faithful to someone doesn't seem like a huge sacrifice, it makes sense. But now that we live well into our 70's and 80's that is 60's years of monogamy, I am not sure we are capable of that and some people just want the temporary change and experience, though they do not necessarily want to change their lives. They just want to experience someone new for a while. I am not suggesting it isn't selfish, but I am saying people will go through great lengths to achieve a moment of new found happiness and excitement in an otherwise routine life. It's sad, but I think this is a huge part of it...
EmperorR Posted April 8, 2010 Posted April 8, 2010 Some cheaters don't even care, my ex is back with her cheating bf who gave her a STD. Why even stop cheating when women/men are dumb enough tontakw them back time and time again
Author Woggle Posted April 8, 2010 Author Posted April 8, 2010 Some cheaters don't even care, my ex is back with her cheating bf who gave her a STD. Why even stop cheating when women/men are dumb enough tontakw them back time and time again This is true. I swear people these days are masochists.
LucreziaBorgia Posted April 8, 2010 Posted April 8, 2010 Affairs are a lot of work and more than a few people who have them find a welcome sense of relief when they are over and they didn't get caught.
Pyro Posted April 8, 2010 Posted April 8, 2010 That is an issue for another thread and I do not feel I put myself through drama. I have never cheated in my life. Her point she is trying to get through to you is that people cheat for the enjoyment of the drama. You belittle women and make up countless threads of your distrust for them (and your wife) for the enjoyment of the drama.
Author Woggle Posted April 8, 2010 Author Posted April 8, 2010 Her point she is trying to get through to you is that people cheat for the enjoyment of the drama. You belittle women and make up countless threads of your distrust for them (and your wife) for the enjoyment of the drama. No I make up threads because that is what I truly believe.
Lizzie60 Posted April 8, 2010 Posted April 8, 2010 Well.. I have to disagree... My affairs are no trouble at all... even for my MMs... it takes place mostly during their work hours, or their 'buddies' night out... or while they are running errands.. you name it... It's not work... it's fun.. exciting.. They just have to drive to my place.. For me.. I like to get ready... put myself in the mood with soft music, bubble bath... candles... sexy lingerie.. 'push-push' on the sheets.. I can see where someone works from 9-5, it could be more of a problem.. some WS have the perfect 'job'. I found that marriage (common-law) is a lot more work...
dazzle22 Posted April 9, 2010 Posted April 9, 2010 In trying to boil down to the simplest reason why people do any number of things that may have harsh consequences for them, I have come to believe people will do almost anything to "feel more alive" again, when their lives have become boring, routine or full of responsibility or drudgery. Whether that is drugs, affairs, risk taking such as dare devil sports.....That feeling is what people risk everything for...
Nightsky Posted April 9, 2010 Posted April 9, 2010 I can’t come up with an answer for this question. People will lie.
Pyro Posted April 9, 2010 Posted April 9, 2010 Well.. I have to disagree... My affairs are no trouble at all... even for my MMs... it takes place mostly during their work hours, or their 'buddies' night out... or while they are running errands.. you name it... It's not work... it's fun.. exciting.. They just have to drive to my place.. For me.. I like to get ready... put myself in the mood with soft music, bubble bath... candles... sexy lingerie.. 'push-push' on the sheets.. I can see where someone works from 9-5, it could be more of a problem.. some WS have the perfect 'job'. I found that marriage (common-law) is a lot more work... Its all fun and games to you but eventually one day a BS will pick up on her husbands BS and will figure out what is going on. Heaven forbid she takes her rage out on you, but don't assume that you will always be safe.
TaraMaiden Posted April 9, 2010 Posted April 9, 2010 No I make up threads because that is what I truly believe. No, you believe the threads which you make up. Fortunately, the majority of people know it's all make-believe.
Chrome Barracuda Posted April 9, 2010 Posted April 9, 2010 You sound like your personally attack wog TM. he's asking a question and your comparing it to his attitude about his marriage. He's right he's not on trial here. If you want to talk to him, just PM him btw. good lord. Anyways i think some people just get off on cheating. I think for them it becomes an adrenaline rush or something like that like criminals when they steal or murderers when they kill. simple as that...
Joobi Posted April 9, 2010 Posted April 9, 2010 I think that there are a lot of different reasons that people cheat. Some like the rush of adrenaline and the 'game' Some are of the opinion that if their spouses are 'uninterested' in sex it gives them the rght to seek it elsewhere (I've seen some cases where the BS has encouraged this!). Some need to feel loved by others for self-validation and so need to be told by many that they are special. Others are too afraid to end a relationship where they are stable in order to pursue another person, so try to have it all. And many more... There are so many different reasons to cheat as there are different personalities and people in the world (imo). Every situation is different, although many have much in common. It's a somewhat unsatisfying answer, I know, but there are so many shades of grey in life- these are some of the more common reasons I have seen.
TaraMaiden Posted April 9, 2010 Posted April 9, 2010 You sound like your personally attack wog TM. he's asking a question and your comparing it to his attitude about his marriage. He's right he's not on trial here.[/quote Nobody's on trial anywhere. I merely answered his question in a way he could relate to. But he gives out enough flak about women to convince us he has an agenda, and that he's a one-man vendetta machine. If he can't take it, he shouldn't dish it.
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