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Posted

All my instincts are pointing to just friends, but I would like other people's thoughts on this as well.

 

 

About a year ago, I met a guy that I had a class with. We started studying together on a weekly basis for the entire semester. After the semester ended, we kinda lost contact over the summer.

 

After the summer ended, I received an email from him asking me how I was, what i was up to etc. I replied and for several weeks we emailed back and forth everyday, several times a day. But every once in a while, he won't reply for a week or more. Which isn't a big deal, I figure he's busy with work and life, as am I.

 

Since we first got back in touch we've hung out a bit. The last time was about 2 weekends ago. They don't feel like a real date, but they kinda are. I don't feel like it's a real date because there's nothing physical, he doesn't try to hold my hand or anything. Even after we hung out for a while, he still doesn't. Yet, he picks me up, drops me off, pays for everything. The few times I drove, he commented that he felt like it was his job to drive.

 

When we hang out, he says that we should do more things together, etc. But the part that has me confused is the time that passes in between these hanging outs. We've never hung out 2 weeks in a row. As in there is always a week or two in between the last time we see each other. But we're always talking during the days we're not going out.

Posted

Who initiates the contact. Is it 50/50 or is he the one asking you to do stuff all the time?

Posted

I suspect your instincts are correct. It's like the 8-Ball says, "outlook not so good".

 

I recently went through the same thing with a girl. We'd talk frequently, but when we were together, there was very little physical contact, and what there was, was very platonic. When she was in town, I'd pay her way, but that was more a friendly gesture of a host than the advances of a potential lover. I know she wanted it to go further, but I had no romantic interest in her.

 

On the other hand, last weekend I met a girl who I like, who appears to like me, and with whom there seems to be chemistry. Even though we barely know each other, we spent almost all of last weekend together, we've been very close, physically, and we've been in constant communication. And I'm considered one of the shyer guys out there!

 

Us guys are generally easy to decipher in this matter: if it isn't obvious that we're attracted, then it's obvious that we aren't.

Posted

Men almost never go out of their way to befriend women unless they are attracted to them. Almost never. Your friend my be that one in a million exception, but I doubt it. More likely, he is just a bit shy. If you are interested in him, you might have to initiate some contact, just to let him know it is okay.

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Posted
Who initiates the contact. Is it 50/50 or is he the one asking you to do stuff all the time?

 

I would say 90% of the time it's him asking

Posted
I would say 90% of the time it's him asking

 

He's probably not initiating anything physical because youre not giving him any p[hysical cues. Are ytou touching him? Light touches of flirting, smiling at him, playing with your hair, getting close to him? Just grab his hand. If you do, and he recoils, then you know he only thinks of you as a friend. Youre going to have to wait to find out unless you do something.

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