sunrise12 Posted April 7, 2010 Posted April 7, 2010 Hi all, Im writing here to feel better, and hoping someone answers... My case starts like this: I met my best friend in a complicated time in her life, she had family issues.. I was always therefore her, until one day out of the blue we kissed.. It started as a joke and then it became official. Everything went pretty fast from that point, and I was in a situation very scared for my family finding out and her family as well. She on the other hand was very open and seemed frustrated by my shyness and fear... I couldnt handle lying so much to my family that I told her I wanted to cut. During this break, everything seemed the same, we were "together" yet not by name. She was so caring and kept sending cards and going out always. Every week she would ask me to come back with her, stating she loved me to death. I know, I didnt see how much I loved her I guess I thought she would never leave, and hoped she would wait for me. Long story short: she gave an ultimatum after 2 years of begging and I asked her back. We started dating for 1 month, I started to change for her, being sweet and caring. After that month things didnt seem right: she didnt pick up the phone, didnt have time, wasnt caring, didnt travel with me, etc. She said she had alot on her school. I finally broke up after 2 months when I caught her lying constantly. I was heartbroken she didnt even care, and sought to find the truth. i have finally found out: she cheated on me since the beginning (3.5 years ago) with a family member and she was dating someone else when I took her back, and many more lies. I cant believe it and now I dont know what to do its so painful.... She says she loves her new date and me at the same time. I havent contacted her since November, only once she tried on January thinking I didnt know everything I now know.. Why do I love her so much if I didnt even know her?? Is it true you can love 2 people at once?
SuperMatt Posted April 7, 2010 Posted April 7, 2010 You love her because you had a bond together, both as friends and as partners. She obviously is a better friend then a girlfriend. You did the right thing by not contacting her. I believe you coooould love two people at once but in this situation it doesnt sounds like thats the case. It seems like she is just using you for stability and support, almost like a crutch. If she really loved both partners she would give even time to both people and respect both of them. Plus I don't think you want to be a part of a relationship with 2 people so why bother. Keep up the good work with the NC.
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