Jump to content
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Posted

I was with my girlfriend for 7 months (not alot compared to other people i know). she is my 3rd girlfriend, i was her first boyfriend. We had so much in common, and never fought, we were both extremely happy. All was going well until about 5 months in when she said that things were becoming retuine but she said it was something she'd have to get over herself, although i wanted to help, so we went on for another month and all was well again (sort of) i could tell she was becoming bored, so we went to concerts, went for walks did lots of different things as i wanted to fix it. I finally asked her was she getting bored and she replyed "a tiny bit" followed by tears, i promised I would try to fix it and did my best but she couldn't help feeling bored with our relationship, she said she thought it had run its course for her, we tried to fix it once more by going away for a weekend together but she feel sick and it didn't help.

We then agreed to go on a break for month and see if she misses me, after 3 weeks i txt saying theres no point continuing any longer and we should just meet up and talk (i think i only did this because i wanted to see her). when we met up we talked for awhile, she said she just didn't want a boyfriend anymore and i could see she was telling the truth. I wanted to stay with her but obviously couldn't so she had to end it, i was pretty hurt and knew i wasn't going to be getting involved with anyone for a long time after this so i said "if you miss me at some stage and want to try again let me know". it wasn't a very bad break-up and we agreed with no contact and it would be better if we didn't remain friends, i broke this and said i still want to be friends because i care about her so much, she said it was up to me, i've txt her once a week since this just having normal conversations about things we both like etc. it makes me feel better when we talk but i just feel the same afterwards, horrible. she also does not reply half the time. I did love her more then anything, for the last 2 months the relationship had been me giving and giving. I consider myself quite good looking and extremely easy to get along with, i gave her everything and she had always said i was the perfect boyfriend, i just dont understand how not being with me is better then being with me. she said she couldn't explain it either

I've been in longer relationships before but i've never loved someone this much. its been 2 months now and i still think about her all the time and its not getting better, i've tried all the suggestions, writing on paper, joining clubs, going out with friends ect. But nothing is working, this hasn't happened to me before.

To make matters worse I slept with my friend recently as she was staying over, i was in a weak position and she was being very forward so i kind of just went with it, it felt extremely wrong and we both agreed to forget about it, This has made me feel even worse then before, i feel like i've cheated even though i haven't. i wish it had not happened. A friend of mine also started giving out to the friend i slept with saying to get away from me and stop taking avantage of me

Everyone says time heals wounds but it doesn't seem to be working this time, i still love her the same and want to be with her the same.

I'll take any suggestions or opinions on my situation

Posted

Hmm,

 

I'm sorry that you are being down, but things will start to be brighter. There isn't a time limit on how long your wounds will heal. Some people cope with the pain in a short amount of ime and others it lasts a while. Everyone handles pain differently. But its up to u to make sure that you take care of yourself and allow your self to heal. Don't constatly feel down on yourself and keep asking why why why? The relationship is over now, and its time to move on. Clearly after all the activities she still felt like you weren't entertaining her enough. I don't know what more could have been done, if you are making an effort.

 

One thing that helps me is thinking is my ex is somewhere in a slump like I am? And the answer is no.. and why should I be! I know although he may miss me at times he is still somewhere enjoying life. And so I should do the same.

 

I know you said you've tried going to do activities, writing, etc. But grasp on to a phrase that will help you. And everytime you start to feel down just repea it to yourself. It may sound crazy but you never know. But that's what helps for me. Everyone is different.

 

In the end, you need to go full NC from her. Don't try to be her friend. Just give her some time and space. Go out have fun. But don't go out with close friends and make your situation worst. Meet 'new' people..

 

Take care

Posted
Hmm,

 

One thing that helps me is thinking is my ex is somewhere in a slump like I am? And the answer is no.. and why should I be!

 

I think theres an element of truth in this totally, and this kind of helps me too. Great advice. Keep going guys, Im only on day 4 but knowing theres light at the end of the tunnel is helping.

×
×
  • Create New...