cr1223 Posted April 7, 2010 Posted April 7, 2010 So this is weird. I've definitely been over my ex, I think, for months now. It was hard, but I got there. But suddenly I've been thinking about her a lot. This is like 6 months after the break up now. I keep replaying memories and all that stuff you do right after a break up. Contacting her has even crossed my mind again. That won't happen, but just the thought crossing my mind is weird and confusing. I have other girls in my life, but I suddenly really want her again. I have a feeling I never really stopped, but just got good at ignoring it through time and distance. Anyway, I guess this just a bump in the road, but anyone experience this? Advice?
sextraps Posted April 7, 2010 Posted April 7, 2010 i myself am goin thru this now expect weve been broken up 3 wks and last contact i had was 7 days ago, im quite tempted to outright call and not even txt because im missing so bad and that "feeling comes back" but everytimne i wake up from sleep or a nap im very glad i didnt.... sometimes its a breakup of no return even tho we want it bad...i kinda wanna do it... but i stick to my guns for now. because if u never get over this person now then u prolly never will?
cdt76 Posted April 7, 2010 Posted April 7, 2010 The memories will haunt you for a long time. No matter how much we want to move on or how much we think we are over them, the memories come back and with them some of the feelings. I know 9 months later that I'm still killing myself over her, though daily rituals are easier. It's easier to fake indifference, even though I'm not. I think you are going through a lot of things we have, the roller coaster feelings, the complacent yet uncomfortable place we are in seems better then where we were post break up but not near as good as pre-break up. It's that disconnect that has us reaching back into our minds to pull out those good feelings and want them back. It's our minds saying hey, she said she loved me, so she has to love me, even now! But the reality is different. There is no going back, even if they came back, things would be different now, trust is gone, caution overides everything, second guessing would inhibit growth and unless the other has dealt with these issues like we are, then failure is bound to crash the party. I know this and think this and understand this but since there is no other passion to replace what we had before, then we are left wanting and waiting and thinking we don't deserve to be alone. We deserve to be the one who meets someone special and moves on quickly. We deserve to be the one to have indifference take over and let the past live in the past. But we don't because we are smart and intelligent people. We understand ourselves better than our previous partners and we want to grow from that experience more quickly than we are able to. No, it was not all in vain. No, the love we had was not bad and the feelings we have today are valid. Question is, do we allow ourselves to live every moment wanting what is gone or strive to live for a moment that we have yet to live?
Perhaps Posted April 7, 2010 Posted April 7, 2010 So this is weird. I've definitely been over my ex, I think, for months now. It was hard, but I got there. But suddenly I've been thinking about her a lot. This is like 6 months after the break up now. I keep replaying memories and all that stuff you do right after a break up. Contacting her has even crossed my mind again. That won't happen, but just the thought crossing my mind is weird and confusing. I have other girls in my life, but I suddenly really want her again. I have a feeling I never really stopped, but just got good at ignoring it through time and distance. Anyway, I guess this just a bump in the road, but anyone experience this? Advice? so, for roughly six months, you had no relapses? .. what i think, "normally" happens is that, right after a break up, you think about it daily,.. few weeks later... every other day... few weeks later... every 2-3 days, then you crash and go back to missing them everyday but this phase lasts for a few days and you go back to missing them every 2-3 days again.. and it slowly gets easier and easier with the occasional crash don't worry, it's normal.
Tamia78 Posted April 7, 2010 Posted April 7, 2010 The memories will haunt you for a long time. No matter how much we want to move on or how much we think we are over them, the memories come back and with them some of the feelings. I know 9 months later that I'm still killing myself over her, though daily rituals are easier. It's easier to fake indifference, even though I'm not. I think you are going through a lot of things we have, the roller coaster feelings, the complacent yet uncomfortable place we are in seems better then where we were post break up but not near as good as pre-break up. It's that disconnect that has us reaching back into our minds to pull out those good feelings and want them back. It's our minds saying hey, she said she loved me, so she has to love me, even now! But the reality is different. There is no going back, even if they came back, things would be different now, trust is gone, caution overides everything, second guessing would inhibit growth and unless the other has dealt with these issues like we are, then failure is bound to crash the party. I know this and think this and understand this but since there is no other passion to replace what we had before, then we are left wanting and waiting and thinking we don't deserve to be alone. We deserve to be the one who meets someone special and moves on quickly. We deserve to be the one to have indifference take over and let the past live in the past. But we don't because we are smart and intelligent people. We understand ourselves better than our previous partners and we want to grow from that experience more quickly than we are able to. No, it was not all in vain. No, the love we had was not bad and the feelings we have today are valid. Question is, do we allow ourselves to live every moment wanting what is gone or strive to live for a moment that we have yet to live? Just wanted to say this is a great post. I needed to read this. Thank you. --T
Author cr1223 Posted April 8, 2010 Author Posted April 8, 2010 so, for roughly six months, you had no relapses? No, I was a wreck for a couple months. But since that point, I made a lot of progress and definitely felt over her - indifferent. I had weeks without thinking about her, not just a few days. Thats why this surprised me. I guess it happens. Probably triggered by something.
Perhaps Posted April 8, 2010 Posted April 8, 2010 No, I was a wreck for a couple months. But since that point, I made a lot of progress and definitely felt over her - indifferent. I had weeks without thinking about her, not just a few days. Thats why this surprised me. I guess it happens. Probably triggered by something. keep your chin up mate, you're not alone
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