DramaFree Posted April 7, 2010 Posted April 7, 2010 UUUGh day 28 why am I feeling sad and depressed. I should be feeling relived and better. I called a therapist. Honestly 2 weeks ago I didnt think I needed one. Been working out and working on myself but really sad today for some reason. I know breaking up is the best thing. I feel like as I've reflected back on certain things in the relationship and I should've been the one who ended it last year. I have to force myself to NC even thinking I need to remove Text for a month off my phone so I dont text him. How pathetic is that? I feel like there were early warning signs I ignored. Now thinking he was a Narcissist and I got hung up in his web. I swore I would never get close to one of those folks again. How can they love you to death one day and 3 days later break up and worse tell you they tried to do it months earlier? Did I really need that extra slap. I was so confused when he broke up I could say was why are you hurting me this way? I dont understand why you are doing this? Boom and bam, It's over. My biggest question why did he break up when things were at the best it had been in months? The only common factor is exactly the same time last year he broke things off. He was actually acting weird and I even asked him if it was soemone else because he didnt seem in to me. what did he do stepped it up a notch...seriously Sexually. Is that a game to keep us in the web..uugh We limped along and I feel like I could have that again but do not want it. He called last Friday...very weird. Even mentioned getting togather for my Birthday next week to give me a gift????? WTF why give me a gift when you broke up! Why would he make a comment - you might not let me call you when you got a new boyfriend...No response from me...Why would he say that! I shouldve said you damn right cuz you dumped me! He called Monday I did not answer nor did he leave a message. Please tell me after a 15 month relationship how long will it take to get over this if I go NC. I dont want him back I just want it to stop hurting! any insight on this ---I dont want to feel the HOPE monster!
Perhaps Posted April 7, 2010 Posted April 7, 2010 UUUGh day 28 why am I feeling sad and depressed. I should be feeling relived and better. I called a therapist. Honestly 2 weeks ago I didnt think I needed one. Been working out and working on myself but really sad today for some reason. I know breaking up is the best thing. I feel like as I've reflected back on certain things in the relationship and I should've been the one who ended it last year. I have to force myself to NC even thinking I need to remove Text for a month off my phone so I dont text him. How pathetic is that? I feel like there were early warning signs I ignored. Now thinking he was a Narcissist and I got hung up in his web. I swore I would never get close to one of those folks again. How can they love you to death one day and 3 days later break up and worse tell you they tried to do it months earlier? Did I really need that extra slap. I was so confused when he broke up I could say was why are you hurting me this way? I dont understand why you are doing this? Boom and bam, It's over. My biggest question why did he break up when things were at the best it had been in months? The only common factor is exactly the same time last year he broke things off. He was actually acting weird and I even asked him if it was soemone else because he didnt seem in to me. what did he do stepped it up a notch...seriously Sexually. Is that a game to keep us in the web..uugh We limped along and I feel like I could have that again but do not want it. He called last Friday...very weird. Even mentioned getting togather for my Birthday next week to give me a gift????? WTF why give me a gift when you broke up! Why would he make a comment - you might not let me call you when you got a new boyfriend...No response from me...Why would he say that! I shouldve said you damn right cuz you dumped me! He called Monday I did not answer nor did he leave a message. Please tell me after a 15 month relationship how long will it take to get over this if I go NC. I dont want him back I just want it to stop hurting! any insight on this ---I dont want to feel the HOPE monster! hang in there, it takes time... and lots of it. some days, you'll feel you're over it, some days you'll crash but the severity of your "crashes" decreases every time. so, do your best to hold up NC and the crashes will eventually fade, the fog will lift off your head and you will things for what they really are. then, you will truly enjoy having a life of your own.
Tamia78 Posted April 7, 2010 Posted April 7, 2010 You are completely normal. It does seem like you get way worse before you get any better, tho, and that's what I hate. It sounds like he's playing games with you, with all the comments. You are doing well by not answering him. Don't play his game. Maybe all he wants is to know that you will be there everytime he texts or calls. When you don't answer, he'll stop, eventually. I wish I could tell you that now it's gonna be easy, but I would be lying. Like Perhaps said, you will think about them a little less everyday, even if it's only .00000001% less, it's still something, right? You can do it! --T
Author DramaFree Posted April 8, 2010 Author Posted April 8, 2010 Thanks Perhaps and Tamia - Its just craziness. Yes i think he is playing games because i've given in before. any idea how long it takes to get them out of our head?
Tamia78 Posted April 8, 2010 Posted April 8, 2010 It's been about 42 days NC for me, and at this time, I'm about where you are at. I still think about him alot. Lately I've just been missing him: specific things he did, inside jokes we shared. I'm just really sad that he's gone, and not even trying to contact me--although I think he will somewhere down the line. I'm almost jealous that your ex even makes contact- albeit confusing, ego-controlled contact- with you. I don't know if there's a time limit or anything. My ex actually was over 10 years divorced to his ex wife-- and he STILL talked about her like it was yesterday (that should've been a red flag for me.......but I'm stupid). These days I think of him a little bit less, but I don't feel I'm making progress, because I still think about him quite a bit. I don't cry over little things anymore. When it first happened I cried pretty much all day. I tried to keep it to a minimum at work (had to hide in the breakroom a few times), but was able to function at least at work. After 42 days, I'm not feeling depressed, but I'm still sad. Is that kinda what you're feeling? --T
Author DramaFree Posted April 8, 2010 Author Posted April 8, 2010 Tam, Yeah it's painful. Those Exs get to me too. Honestly 42 days that is awesome. I know it's no win either way. I think we want them to miss us but deep down we know we are better off. I got to believe they know we are. I am restraining myself to stay at NC. Somehow I think that will end it for good. He is leaving the country this summer. I am ready for him to go because that makes it easier!
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