lovebound Posted April 7, 2010 Posted April 7, 2010 Last year, I got involved with this guy who pursued me for a long time. After about 3 months into it, he broke my heart saying he did not want a girlfriend with me or anybody, that he needed to focus on getting himself in his feet regarding work and was moving to NY. Im in Florida. I felt he misled me by calling me all the time, writing to me, etc. I really liked him so much. well, so i had to move on with my life, so i did but i always missed him. I had told him that i was fine with all and being friends. But i had no intentions of contacting him after that, figured i would not hear from him that much at all. two months to the time, i received a phone call form him which i missed. Two days later, he had his cousin call me to let me know that he was in florida. turns out he got into a bar fight and had to do 3 months in jail. his cousin said that he wanted me to visit him, that he needed to talk to me. i hesitated, but i did. he did apologize for his behavior in the past, said that he missed me, and that he cared for me a lot. long story short, i spent 3 months visiting him 3 times a week. he asked me to visit him, he had me get in contact with his family and speak with them, he started saying i was his sweetheart, that once he got out he would take care of me when he got his new business going (which his dad is helping him out with), that i would be there with him when he became successful, that i was his number one, etc. i knew we were friends, but his comments led me to believe that he could possibly be wanting more. he asked that he wanted to stay with me for 2 weeks before moving to georgia to start his business. i said ok. in my thoughts, and perhaps i was wrong to think that way, i would have expected that once he got out he would want to spend quality time with me. well...the first day he got out,me and his guy best friend went to pick him up and spent time together, he was sweet, holding my hand, etc. the next day i had made a welcome party in my house, but then the rest of the weekend it was me and everyone else of his friends, it felt that there was everyone else there and his attention was not focused on me, the only person that was there for him for those 3 months! but i got my answer of dissapointment when the fourth day his guy best friend came to pick him up to get a chess board and return in an hour while i was taking a shower. well, they never came back until 9 am the next morning! did not answer texts or calls, and then he got upset that i got upset! though he apologized and said he was going to never do it again, i felt used and taken for granted when i had gone thru all this trouble for three months, talking to his lawyer, sending him pictures and books, visiting, talking to all his family.when i asked him that i was expecting that he would want to spend quality time with me alone, he promised that we were going to go to the gym that nite and he was going to do something with me, next thing i know he said that he had promised his exroommate to play poker for a couple of hours.i got upset and he then asked me why i thought i was more special than anyone else! the nerve! now he was referrring to me as just a good friend, no making references about the future as he was doing before, and telling me that i am a nice girl. well, that told me right there that he had no intentions to be with me in a relationship after all. I felt used. that was misleading. one day i am his sweetheart, the next day he wants to make clear that im just his good friend, like everyone else. So, i talked to my girl friends, after much talk, i knew that i felt disrespected, they advised me to pack his things up and text him to find another place to stay.at that point, i felt brokenhearted, but i could not go thru another two weeks of him staying at my place, if he had already disrespected me by not showing up like that, like he was taking for granted that i would be there, and then the good friend thing, now that he was free, now he is just a friend. i personally would not have engage or ask anyone that much in my life if i was not planning to be with them. well, so i packed his things, he picked them up upset, and went to stay with his exroomate.did not even fight it, he tried to turn it around by telling me that i had a bad attitude. what do you all think? did i do the right thing?
CarrieT Posted April 7, 2010 Posted April 7, 2010 I'm sorry, but you need to break up your paragraphs and use punctuation. It is too hard to read an entire block of words that is so long.
cooldudeinberlin Posted April 7, 2010 Posted April 7, 2010 I kept losing my place in that huge block of text
boogieboy Posted April 7, 2010 Posted April 7, 2010 Yeah you did the right thing, but if you want a relationship with someone, you need to make your needs known. Stop thinking someone is taking you seriously just because they hold your hand and call you sweetheart. You have to hear the words relationship in there spoken by them to take them seriously.
Author lovebound Posted April 7, 2010 Author Posted April 7, 2010 well, i am aware that we had not talked about a relationship, and that i was being there for him as a friend. however, his comments and words to me suggested that once he got out, that he would desire to spend his time with me (not every other friend he had not seen and were not there for him at all) and would have at least respect for me not to dissapear like that while staying at my house, after all ive done for him. it is called respect.
boogieboy Posted April 7, 2010 Posted April 7, 2010 well, i am aware that we had not talked about a relationship, and that i was being there for him as a friend. however, his comments and words to me suggested that once he got out, that he would desire to spend his time with me (not every other friend he had not seen and were not there for him at all) and would have at least respect for me not to dissapear like that while staying at my house, after all ive done for him. it is called respect. Not everyone is going to expect you, and this guy gave you signs that he wasnt going to respect you, and you ignored them. I hope you learned to stop ignoring signs. This isnt his fault, its yours. He got what he wanted, and you went along with it. You werent being there with him as a friend, you were there with him hoping he would come around wanting a relationship with you eventually.
Mme. Chaucer Posted April 7, 2010 Posted April 7, 2010 Well, The guy has given you a whole boatload of information to let you know that he is NOT relationship material, even if he really wanted to be in a relationship with you. Honey, the guy is a loser. I think you should count your lucky stars that he is bailing on you. I don't think his chances of having a successful business anytime in the next decade or two are very good.
Author lovebound Posted April 7, 2010 Author Posted April 7, 2010 Well, boogieboy, it is true, I thought when he came back and told me that he missed me, and that he cared for me, and that i was his number one, it was because he had realized he did miss me and wanted me back in his life.he even told me that i was his number one and that everyone else did not matter at all. yes, that lead me to hope that he would want more with me. i was not the one that called him in the first place so i hoped he had came back cause he cared. i guess not. well, now he is texting me to check whether there is something left in my house. im not texting back at all. he is not my priority now.
EYECANDY000 Posted April 7, 2010 Posted April 7, 2010 Yes! You did the right thing, why are you even questioning it. He was clearly using you while he was in jail and when he got out. Leave this guy alone, and let him go to georgia or florida and have a life..
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