40frdm Posted April 7, 2010 Posted April 7, 2010 As hard as it might seem to believe, this here is the abridged version of my story. My girlfriend of 3 years (i'll call her K) just broke up with me and I deserved it. I met her 4 years ago when she started workign at my company and I was instantly attracted to everything, her eyes, lips, sexy body, the way she dressed, i can go on and on. I had gone through a breakup 7 months prior so i wasn't ready for anything serious but i really wanted to get to know K. Now my ex girlfriend (i'll call her M), the 7 months broken up one was the hottest girl i ever dated so i was still reeling from the breakup but nonetheless a guy can't be lonely forever so i asked K out. I know that makes me sound superficial but I actually liked M a lot and I took the breakup hard. Anyway, it took about 5 tries but K finally agreed to go out with me. We started to hang out 3-4x a week for a couple months and we still hadnt slept together yet. keep in mind, she wasn't the only girl I was seeing. Anyway, I pulled my first of many dick moves and told K that if we didn't start sleeping together I couldn't date her anymore. Rightly so she called me a jerk and toldme she'd rather not see me then. However to my surprise that night she called me and told me that SHE was sorry! imagine my surprise.. i mean, i've never had a girl apologize to me for my jerk bheavior. So I apologized too and we finally slept together later that week. i found out that she never was in a serious realtionship before which amazed me because seriously, K is AMAZINGLY beautiful and has the best personality but anyways.... i had had 4 girlfriends and i cheated on all of them. i guess I was never cut out for relationships. A few weeks later she wanted to have "the talk" - asked me where it was headed and i told her it wasn't anything serious and she got upset. I told her I'd only just gotten out of a serious relationship and wasn't ready for anything and that we'd only been seeing each other for a few months so i wasn't ready. she told me that she couldn't see me anymore then. 2 weeks later, she called me, told me she made a mistake and she wanted to see me again. I should've been the better person and told her no, because I hadn't changed my mind about the whole relationship thing but I didn't because I really liked K too, just didn't want to be committed. Honeslty I was hoping M would come back around. I'll now go into the fact that I had about 5 other girls I was seeing. Yes, I was a man whore but I was only 23 at the time and living it up. One of those girls also worked with us. It disgusts me now but I can't change the past. Needless to say I had kept those girls secret from K but she found out, as all girls somehow do and she and I had our first big fight. she told me she knew i wasn't committed to her but she felt i had disrespected her. we had now been seeing each other like 5 months. She told me that she really had a hard time finding guys she liked and that she didn't know why she wanted me so bad. that made me feel both guilty and good att the same time bc I know K got asked out a ton, she is beautiful and charming. I don't know how I got so lucky and thinking back now, I was such a fool for playing her. One of my most shameful memories is of her birthday, the first one we spent together. We were still doing the fwb thing and i decided to take her out, more out of obligation than anything. We got into an argument during dinner and i pretty much did the most douchebag thing any guy could do and i brought up M. I told K that M was still the most beautiful girl to me and that K was 2nd best and told K to back off. K instantly started crying. we got out of that restaurant fast, and i apologized soo many times and she's forgiven me but i've never gotten over the guilt i feel from that night. Anyway, let's speed it up a bit. She tried to break it off with me a few more times but she kept coming back to me, I never asked for her back. The final straw for her was on Valentine's Day, about 9 months after we'd been seeing each other. She said it was all or nothing. At this point I'd totally fallen for her so I asked her to be my girlfriend a few days later but I still wasn't 100% committed. I still kept acting like a single guy, I coudln't help myself. Pretty soon though, I fell in love with her and went through all the honeymoon phase emotions. We were having amazing sex every night, spending lots of time together, falling deeper in love and I was just in bliss. All that would come to an end however and karma is a bitch. She started becoming depressed and crazy moody and like, bi-polar. She would be totally happy, resting in my arms watching tv, and all of a sudden out of NOWHERE she'd turn to me with anger in her eyes and start yelling at me. This went on for a year and a half and I kept begging her to get help. I didn't want to break up with her at ALL. She tried to get help a few times and I knew her depression was mainly bc of what I had put her through in the beginning. Finally after the year and half she calmed down a bit. She'd have her mood swings here and there but what girl doesn't, right? That's when I started acting stupid again. I met a girl on a plane ride and we exchanged emails and made plasn to meet up. K found out and flipped the **** out. i dont know what my intentions were, honestly id idnt find the plane girl very attractive but i geuss my inner player was coming out again. After that incident, I was a VERY good boyfriend. but it happened again. One of my old FWB found me on facebook. i foudn out she was living in Vegas and I had been trying to plan a trip there for ages. When she contacted me i decided to go see her. I told K i was going to Vegas and didn't ask her to come. When K got pouty and asked why she didn't want me there, I used the excuse that it would just be all boys and that she wouldn't have any fun. NOw, I've NEVER cheatedon K. She's the first girl I've truly loved and I want to MARRY HER. I don't know what the **** I was thinking in writing to my FWB. But all that is moot now. I went to Vegas, ended up never seeing her bc K found out. All this finding out is due to the fact that I wanted K to trust me, and so years ago I had given her my email and pw to my gmail. So ocassionally K would log in and she just happened to log in the week I was in Vegas. The night K found out she called me 100x, crying. I didnt pick up bc my phone was dead but once it was on and charged and saw the voicemails, I knew I was dead. I tried calling her back but now she woldn't answer. She just texted me that it was finally over and she'd had enough. She moved out of our home. She did it for real. IN the past when she threatened to break up with me she never left. But now she's gone. So here we are now. I feel like ****. worthless. guilty. I want her back SO bad but I'm trying to be a good guy now and letting her do her thing. She still calls me crying, she says she wants me back so bad but that she's being dumb and it took her 3 years to learn her lesson. I totally understand but I need her. She's my soulmate. I don't know what to do. What do I Do???? Sorry for the misspellings and typos and grammatical errors. I just don't give a **** about anything anymore. As sorry as it sounds I feel like my world is over, like I'm living a nightmare. I know it's not over but that's how it feels. Never loved a girl more in my life.
DustySaltus Posted April 7, 2010 Posted April 7, 2010 So to summarize: Anyway, I pulled my first of many dick moves and told K that if we didn't start sleeping together I couldn't date her anymore. Rightly so she called me a jerk and toldme she'd rather not see me then. Off to a good start..... K is AMAZINGLY beautiful and has the best personality but anyways.... i had had 4 girlfriends and i cheated on all of them. i guess I was never cut out for relationships. Then why jump into another one? One of my most shameful memories is of her birthday, the first one we spent together. We were still doing the fwb thing and i decided to take her out, more out of obligation than anything. We got into an argument during dinner and i pretty much did the most douchebag thing any guy could do and i brought up M. I told K that M was still the most beautiful girl to me and that K was 2nd best and told K to back off. I mean to say that you were taking K for granted here would be the understatement of the year. 2 weeks later, she called me, told me she made a mistake and she wanted to see me again. I should've been the better person and told her no, because I hadn't changed my mind about the whole relationship thing but I didn't because I really liked K too, just didn't want to be committed. Honeslty I was hoping M would come back around. Did you let K know this? She said it was all or nothing. At this point I'd totally fallen for her so I asked her to be my girlfriend a few days later but I still wasn't 100% committed. I still kept acting like a single guy, So she backed you into a corner and that's why you're in a relationship? Not a good way to start things off. I'll now go into the fact that I had about 5 other girls I was seeing. Yes, I was a man whore but I was only 23 at the time and living it up. Obviously, she didn't know this. I went to Vegas, ended up never seeing her bc K found out. All this finding out is due to the fact that I wanted K to trust me, and so years ago I had given her my email and pw to my gmail. So ocassionally K would log in and she just happened to log in the week I was in Vegas. The night K found out she called me 100x, crying You gave her your email hoping that would be enough for her to trust you. You never actually thought she would go and check it. I knew I was dead. It was a matter of time and you knew that. She just texted me that it was finally over and she'd had enough. She moved out of our home Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. took her 3 years to learn her lesson. It's ironic because you think that they'll never leave and one day they do and it's sad because that's the first day you really start to appreciate them. What do I Do???? I don't think there's anything you can do except apologize for your actions and keep your distance. I don't know how things went with M but if it went the same way, I can understand why she would get tired too. Every good quality that you have mentioned about any girl in your entire posy is only about the physical aspect of them. Is that the most important quality to you? Because it if it is you have to understand that there's always going to be someone out there younger, sexier and attractive than the one that your with. You need to connect with them on an emotional level and the first step to doing that is to hand in your "player card". She broke up with you, give her space. I think you step back at this point and realize what you need to do to become a better person for yourself. Then and only then will you be reasy for a relationship. Work on your sense of entitlement, your objectivity of women and understanding why you feel the need to have a constant stream of women in your life. Then and only then will you be ready to move forward and be in a relationship again. Again, respect her wishes right now and cease contact with her. A second chance cannot work until both people are committed 100% to work on the issue that led to the breakup in the first place. You may be, but she may not. The ball is in her court. Focus on yourself.
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