Kamille Posted April 7, 2010 Posted April 7, 2010 Everyone Male or female wants a clasically good looking partner unfortunately theyres only so many to go around and most arent attractive enough to get one.. By a certain age most average or ugly people realize they can get one so they "settle" for somebody on their level who they connect with emotionally and physically arent all that into but "tolerate" becasue its the best they can get Just depends on the person how long theyre willign to hold out for there dream of a good looking person and when they realize its unnatainable.. Speak for yourself! I for one have always wanted to be with a partner who treats me right. I've always been drawn to personalities as much as looks. Your generalizations are incredibly reductive of humanity's capacity to love and be loved.
CaliGuy Posted April 7, 2010 Posted April 7, 2010 Hint: Men, if you are dismayed about the hot girl overlooking you because you're a 'nice guy', maybe you're just overlooking the 'girl-next-doors' who might appreciate you for who you are. Don't waste my time on "uber hot chicks" because they are insecure and more trouble than worth dating. Give me an average, girl next door type. I'll be really happy with that.
JohnP82 Posted April 7, 2010 Posted April 7, 2010 I think what is going on here is that the nerdy, average-looking, average-income guys resent being just considered relationship material and not as sexual beings. It doesn't have anything to do with wanting to get NSA sex, but a guy will feel that the woman is just isn't as attracted to them physically if they were so willing to hop into bed with the sexy guy, yet is wants to take it slow with the average guy because he just isn't some hottie that makes her melt. Any guy is going to want to believe that his woman finds him so irresistible that she can't keep her hands off. I think this could be true. Most people, male and female, want to be lusted after by the opposite sex to some degree. When a woman says that you are relationship material I think it creates the connotation that the guy is safe and stable. The passion that makes you want to rip of the clothes of the "hot" guy is replaced with the safe harbor feelings for the relationship guy. I think that sometimes being told that you're relationship material is not always an enjoyable label to have.
A O Posted April 7, 2010 Posted April 7, 2010 AO: What do you see wrong with the Type 1 'nice girl' that I mentioned? Assuming she's not dumb, deadbeat boring, or anything of the sort, of course. What advantage do you see a Type 2 girl having over her except physical looks? I'm not interested in your overall premise. To me, it doesn't help the cause of the average nice person. If anything, it just knocks them down a peg or two further. .
Sweetie1977 Posted April 7, 2010 Posted April 7, 2010 It is true that when we are young we all go for the hot guys and some of us wheter it be becasue we cant do any better or becasue we think average guys make better hsubands will then settle down in a LTR with him over the playboy Yes we dont melt at the site of him and get hot and bothered like we do wit the hot guy but as long as we treat him well give him sex and the average guy is with somebody maybe out of his league whats so wrong?
Author Els Posted April 7, 2010 Author Posted April 7, 2010 I'm not interested in your overall premise. To me, it doesn't help the cause of the average nice person. If anything, it just knocks them down a peg or two further. . How does it not? Many don't realize that if they did away with their unessential 'requirements', the same requirements that they so despise the opposite sex having for them because they can't fulfill it, they might find someone who loves them for who they are.
A O Posted April 7, 2010 Posted April 7, 2010 You come across to me as a person who has issues with nice guys, henceforth, you're trying to influence them on how to live their lives probably for your benefit moreso than theirs. This whole premise sets them up to fail unless they heed your advice. .
Kamille Posted April 7, 2010 Posted April 7, 2010 This thread continues to amuse me. The same posters who accuse women of "having unreasonable expectations" and of "feeling entitled to hot attractive lovers" are ... well, you see where I'm going with this. Maybe all this talk of "Nice guys finish last" and " All Women love jerks" is just a case of... Projection.
Lakeside_runner Posted April 7, 2010 Posted April 7, 2010 Um, the issue is and always has been: there is a very subtle difference between a 'nice guy' and a 'gentleman'. It all depends where do you draw the line and I think the same applies to girls as well...
phineas Posted April 7, 2010 Posted April 7, 2010 It is true that when we are young we all go for the hot guys and some of us wheter it be becasue we cant do any better or becasue we think average guys make better hsubands will then settle down in a LTR with him over the playboy Yes we dont melt at the site of him and get hot and bothered like we do wit the hot guy but as long as we treat him well give him sex and the average guy is with somebody maybe out of his league whats so wrong? "give him sex" what a lucky guy. Personally, if a woman feels she needs to "give me sex" i'd rather stay single & work on my fore-arm development in order to spare her the messy chore of "giving me sex". sheesh.
AD1980 Posted April 7, 2010 Posted April 7, 2010 "give him sex" what a lucky guy. Personally, if a woman feels she needs to "give me sex" i'd rather stay single & work on my fore-arm development in order to spare her the messy chore of "giving me sex". sheesh. Thats why im leery of women.. Im turning 30 and never been in a relationship girls never show interest in me.. If by some miracle some girl does show interest in the back of my mind im gonna be thinking she probably got used and abused by good looking guys and is now looking to settle for a guy she knows doesnt have many options and wont hurt her..
Kamille Posted April 7, 2010 Posted April 7, 2010 If by some miracle some girl does show interest in the back of my mind im gonna be thinking she probably got used and abused by good looking guys and is now looking to settle for a guy she knows doesnt have many options and wont hurt her.. Well, if it's any comfort, I've never settled for anybody and was wildly attracted to all of my (ex)bfs and current bf (and no, they weren't all classic hotties, but they were hot to me). I find the whole idea of "settling" as insulting as you guys.
Author Els Posted April 7, 2010 Author Posted April 7, 2010 You come across to me as a person who has issues with nice guys, henceforth, you're trying to influence them on how to live their lives probably for your benefit moreso than theirs. This whole premise sets them up to fail unless they heed your advice. . Uh. How would telling them to open their eyes to the girl next door who loves them, be for my benefit, especially if I have 'issues' with them? Pray tell, I'd be very interested to hear your reasoning. By the way, I'm a girl who's always loved the 'nice guys', the entire stereotype, nerdiness and shyness and average looks and all. Most of my relationships were with such men, and I find that women who overlook them are missing out on a lot. Equally so, I find that many such men are missing out on many nice girls simply because they're low-maintenance and 'not-so-hot', hence my advice.
MrNate Posted April 7, 2010 Posted April 7, 2010 You know, when you see all these posts about guys claiming that women don't really want good men - that they themselves are caring, loyal, respectful etc etc but the girls only go for the good-looking arrogant bastards with the flashy car who take a different girl home each week? Well, think about it. Isn't it generally the same in reverse? Men always claim they want a woman who understands them, who's caring and kind and loyal, who's actually a buddy instead of demanding and clingy, etc. Well, I know this is a gross generalization, but I can very, very roughly divide the girls I know into two types. The first is the homely girl. The laid-back type who's very accommodating and understanding (almost to a fault, even), doesn't really party, doesn't have a laundry list of requirements for a man, doesn't throw a huge fuss when you forget her birthday. May be pretty, but generally doesn't spend all that much time and money on their appearance - they can throw on a baby tee, jeans and flats and head out without any makeup. Tends to spend more time at the movies or slumber parties with friends than at bars. Would most likely just try to smile and say 'it's okay' if the bf apologizes for having forgotten her birthday. The other type is the 'hot' party girl. Not necessarily prettier than the first type, but certainly spends a LOT of time on appearance. Styled hair, makeup, heels, push-up bras, the latest fashions and all that jazz. Loves parties and bars. Spends at least half an hour primping (not including the shower and cleansing routine!) before going out. Perhaps because of the way society has treated them, or perhaps because their personality type predisposes them to it, they seem to feel entitled to Mr. Perfect, and have a HUGE list of requirements, often superficial, for him. May also be caring and loyal, but usually not understanding and not a buddy, nor do they try to be. Will not try and share a man's hobby, often drags the poor bf on 5-hour shopping sprees when they can't get any of their girlfriends (hey, that latest fashion attire has to come from somewhere!), will likely sulk for 3 days if they don't like the birthday present the bf gave them. Well, guess which type is more likely to have a guy? Almost ALL of my friends who have boyfriends are in the latter group; and there are so many in the former, the nicest and sweetest girls you could ever see, who have never had one in their 24 years. No, they're not unattractive or overweight either, even though they're not beauty queens. And trust me, no girl will EVER be a beauty queen without doing most of the things that the 2nd group of girls does, even though some might make it through without turning into Ms. Bitch. Is it not the same as what men face, then? Why do both genders persist on screwing themselves over? Yes, there WILL be girls who are 'hot' and also don't act all entitled and princessy. And I'm sure there are guys who are suave and 'bad-boyish' and rich who really are decent guys and great bfs underneath it all. But what's the point in looking for that needle in the haystack? What are the odds that you'll find such a person, he/she will want YOU, and you'll be compatible in all important aspects? Hint: Men, if you are dismayed about the hot girl overlooking you because you're a 'nice guy', maybe you're just overlooking the 'girl-next-doors' who might appreciate you for who you are. Oh, no, another one of these. First of all, I think we all like hot people. It's only natrual. Both women and men. Being hot gives off all kinds of good vibes, otherwise you wouldn't care to look. And the odds of finding a good person? lol that's more like trying to find a hay in a needle stack...a lot more strenuous if you ask me. Here's how we can solve this problem: workout. Everyone. Get in shape, and dress well. Then we'll all be 'hot'. the first type of girl you mentioned are the ones i like. I mean of course im attracted to the universally attractive women, but I'm also attracted to average girls as well. Can she also not take care of her appearance? I could care less about party girls. Give me the diamond in the rough anyday, and i will make her.. shine.
Author Els Posted April 7, 2010 Author Posted April 7, 2010 Oh, no, another one of these. First of all, I think we all like hot people. It's only natrual. Both women and men. Being hot gives off all kinds of good vibes, otherwise you wouldn't care to look. And the odds of finding a good person? lol that's more like trying to find a hay in a needle stack...a lot more strenuous if you ask me. Here's how we can solve this problem: workout. Everyone. Get in shape, and dress well. Then we'll all be 'hot'. the first type of girl you mentioned are the ones i like. I mean of course im attracted to the universally attractive women, but I'm also attracted to average girls as well. Can she also not take care of her appearance? I could care less about party girls. Give me the diamond in the rough anyday, and i will make her.. shine. You missed my point entirely.
MrNate Posted April 7, 2010 Posted April 7, 2010 You missed my point entirely. er, what is your point exactly? with all due respect, the first post seemed more like a rant.
SuperMatt Posted April 7, 2010 Posted April 7, 2010 Girls like the emotional UPS and DOWNS, *******s show them that. Which makes them hot and want to have sex. With a regular relationship good guy they treat them nice and girls actually find that "boring"
Kamille Posted April 7, 2010 Posted April 7, 2010 Girls like the emotional UPS and DOWNS, *******s show them that. Which makes them hot and want to have sex. With a regular relationship good guy they treat them nice and girls actually find that "boring" So are you saying guys who are attracted to high maintenance girls like emotional UPS and DOWNS and these women show them that? So, with a regular relationship good girls treat them nice and guys actually find that "boring". Cause that's the topic of this thread.
Author Els Posted April 7, 2010 Author Posted April 7, 2010 er, what is your point exactly? with all due respect, the first post seemed more like a rant. Advice: That guys who only want 'high-maintenance/hot' women should stop complaining that noone likes 'nice guys' like them, and instead open their eyes to the girl-next-door who loves them for who they are. I swear I said this like three times in the course of the thread.
A O Posted April 7, 2010 Posted April 7, 2010 Uh. How would telling them to open their eyes to the girl next door who loves them, be for my benefit, especially if I have 'issues' with them? Pray tell, I'd be very interested to hear your reasoning. First off, the underlying theme I get here is that the source of their woes is picking, going for, the wrong type of girls. I also detect a certain resentment about that and their outlook in general. Hence, your advice is geared towards influencing them towards a utopia that suits you every bit as much as it suits them. On top of all that is my belief that their choices aren't as big a problem for them as what they bring to the table, or what they think is all they need to bring to the table. Basically, you're attempting to limit their options when the real deal here is the fact that the only thing holding them back is themselves. .
Kamille Posted April 7, 2010 Posted April 7, 2010 First off, the underlying theme I get here is that the source of their woes is picking, going for, the wrong type of girls. I also detect a certain resentment about that and their outlook in general. Hence, your advice is geared towards influencing them towards a utopia that suits you every bit as much as it suits them. On top of all that is my belief that their choices aren't as big a problem for them as what they bring to the table, or what they think is all they need to bring to the table. Basically, you're attempting to limit their options when the real deal here is the fact that the only thing holding them back is themselves. . AO, what if the thread was about the reverse: pick any of the quazillionth threads on here about how, allegedly, women only go for bad boys. What would you (or have you) responded on these threads?
Author Els Posted April 7, 2010 Author Posted April 7, 2010 (edited) Really? You think that they should change who they are because it's not good enough, just to get the attention of the high-maintenance chicks who wouldn't suit them in the long run anyway? You think that's good advice? Suit yourself. Seeing as you're supposedly one of them yourself, though, I'd like to know how your own advice worked out for you? As for the nice guys I dated, I was the first (and only, from what I hear) for some of them, and we had a great time while it lasted (various unavoidable things such as them leaving to go abroad split us apart). Also, they could be comfortable in their own skin, instead of some player biker guy's skin. Had they disregarded me because I was the girl next door, frankly it would have been their loss. There was a guy I sort of liked, but lost interest in because of the sort of women he was into. Currently, he has still never had any lasting relationship, and is still whining that women have too many 'requirements' for men. Also, FYI, I have nothing to benefit from this. I'm halfway across the globe from most of the people here, and what they do will not affect me. Just tired of hearing the same ol' 'Why don't hot women like nice guys like me!?' complaints, and wanted to shake them to their senses. Really, it's like watching someone persistently try to push open a 'Pull' door for an hour. Edited April 7, 2010 by Elswyth
MrNate Posted April 7, 2010 Posted April 7, 2010 Advice: That guys who only want 'high-maintenance/hot' women should stop complaining that noone likes 'nice guys' like them, and instead open their eyes to the girl-next-door who loves them for who they are. I swear I said this like three times in the course of the thread. lol well in that case, sure, I agree. Granted, the same goes for women. But I'm sure this point has been hit already.
Author Els Posted April 7, 2010 Author Posted April 7, 2010 It has, yes! Yet they still keep complaining... :/
Chicago_Guy Posted April 7, 2010 Posted April 7, 2010 ... Well, I know this is a gross generalization, but I can very, very roughly divide the girls I know into two types. The first is the homely girl. The laid-back type who's very accommodating and understanding (almost to a fault, even), doesn't really party, doesn't have a laundry list of requirements for a man, doesn't throw a huge fuss when you forget her birthday. May be pretty, but generally doesn't spend all that much time and money on their appearance - they can throw on a baby tee, jeans and flats and head out without any makeup. Tends to spend more time at the movies or slumber parties with friends than at bars. Would most likely just try to smile and say 'it's okay' if the bf apologizes for having forgotten her birthday. The other type is the 'hot' party girl. Not necessarily prettier than the first type, but certainly spends a LOT of time on appearance. Styled hair, makeup, heels, push-up bras, the latest fashions and all that jazz. Loves parties and bars. Spends at least half an hour primping (not including the shower and cleansing routine!) before going out. Perhaps because of the way society has treated them, or perhaps because their personality type predisposes them to it, they seem to feel entitled to Mr. Perfect, and have a HUGE list of requirements, often superficial, for him. May also be caring and loyal, but usually not understanding and not a buddy, nor do they try to be. Will not try and share a man's hobby, often drags the poor bf on 5-hour shopping sprees when they can't get any of their girlfriends (hey, that latest fashion attire has to come from somewhere!), will likely sulk for 3 days if they don't like the birthday present the bf gave them. ... There are too many variables in your scenario. If the "nice" girl and the "party" girl were equally physically attractive, I think that the vast majority of men would go for the "nice" girl. How many guys really want a girl who goes out drinking all the time typically gets really drunk?
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