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How do I approach an older man?


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Posted

Hi there, I think this is kind of silly, but I want to know some tips on attracting an older man. To start of, I am a very confident person, good self esteem, and very easy to get along with, and everyone around me knows that. I don't get into fights, because I avoid arguing as much as I can. I go out a lot, I am very social, and I don't just party on the weekends, but I also know how to be mature and take care of my business I have to take care of. Basically, I'm very outgoing, I am 19 years old, a sophomore in college, and I am happy with the way I look. The reason I'm stating this is because I want to avoid anyone telling me how there is a "self-esteem" problem with me because I like an older man (he's about twice my age, maybe older...) Honestly though, there isn't a problem!

 

I've met many guys, and am actually currently talking to one, but they are all young and immature, I want somebody different. I'm afraid to talk to about this with my friends because I don't think they will understand why I feel this way.

 

The reality is I don't have a problem talking and hanging out with guys my age, but I just don't know how to approach someone much older than me...

 

Like, hahaha what do I do?? When I see him, I blush and then I ask myself "omg why do I feel this way?" It's pretty crazy! He's a jerk, and he's always picking on me, but ohmygosh, not only is he hilarious, he's gorgeous inside and out! but anyways,... haha, I just would like some tips, haha to get me started.

 

Thanks!!

Posted

hmmmm... so you are wanting to take this crush further? Is it a professor or instructor? Just curious.

 

Well, 1.) if he is always picking on you, make sure it isnt just him seeing you as some silly little girl... then again, a little bit of humorous jaunting and teasing is very attractive and can be very alluring.

 

If you feel comfortable and relaxed around him, then dont be afraid to open up and talk freely or ask him open questions too... even if they are personal. If you are perceiving the chemistry progressing, then he notices too and he will be taking charge of the situation before long... just be patient... if there is chemistry, he already knows it too and might be also proceeding with caution due to the age difference... it can be somewhat confusing sometimes. Relax, keep enjoying each other's company and keep being your mature self... dont be too much of a little girl around him... if things arent progressing enough for you... have a serious talk with him about some of the feelings you are experiencing... I guarantee you he is wise and mature enough to make that very easy and comfortable for you.

Posted
Is it a professor or instructor?

 

If it is, it is a terrible idea as long as you remain a student.

  • Author
Posted

To CooldudeinBerlin, haha no no, he's not a Professor or an Instructor.

Actually, I think I'm very mature around him, but I'm still myself. He "picks" on me like I said because they think I can take jokes and not get offended easily. He keeps making jokes around him, and well I can't help but laughing, he's hilarious! I thiinnkkk that he knows I am at least attracted to him some how. He was walking down the stairs and I was walking up and he stopped right in front of me. Not like this means anything big of course, but it's little things I'm noticing.

Posted

You are 19 year old woman who wants to know how to attract a man twice her age? Easy. Leave the house.

  • Author
Posted

haha umm. I don't have a problem "attracting" this man, I mean I think I got that down... What I was wondering was basically how to let him know I dig him, or that I want to get to know him a little more...

Posted

Lean in towards him, touch forearm, smile and say : "I think you're really cool".

 

He'll get the picture.

  • Author
Posted

haha Kamille, I just totally pictured this happening... but I don't think so.

 

I forgot to add we work together.

Posted

Drop your pen, slowly bend over to pick it up, and make eye contact with him. JK.

 

Just ask him out.

Posted

To be honest, a normal 40 year old man is just enjoying the attention and playing with it, there's nothing to be had from a 19 year old. Even though you may be mature and look nice, I highly doubt he has any serious interest in you.

Posted

I don't think there's any need to make prognostics on him or her. I'm sure CharmingGirl is smart enough to be able to handle the situation if this guy does turn out to be less than a gentleman.

 

haha Kamille, I just totally pictured this happening... but I don't think so.

 

I forgot to add we work together.

 

Work together? Than are you sure this is a good idea? Office romances can get extremely complicated.

 

But, if you want to proceed, just tone down my suggestion a little. The best way I have found to let a guy know I'm interested is to randomly touch him while in conversation: the forearm is great because it's understated.

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