Alex87 Posted April 7, 2010 Posted April 7, 2010 Hello, i am a 23 year old man from Norway. I have had 1 previous girlfriend here in Norway but after a few years we broke up. About 3 months ago i met a girl online while on a chatsite and we started to e-mail eachother. This turned into talking every night on instant messaging and for the past few weeks we have sent text messages and called eachother every day, talking for hours. She lives in the usa and she's only 18 years old. I've started to get alot of feelings for her and i've told her this. She said she feels the same and she actually cried when i told her. My hat's are off to all of you who have done LDR's successfully because the pain i feel from not being able to touch or see her is terrible. What i wondered were, what are you guys and girl's opinion about this?. She's going to college in the autumn and she has expressed her wish for me to visit her, and i want to. I'm just afraid that she's young and will go off to college and meet someone, honestly i want her to be happy but that feeling still sits pretty deep. I havent even thought about what we would do to be together, me moving to her, or she moving to me. It all seems pretty farfetched but at the same time i want to do it. This turned out to be quite the outlet but im not sure what i want from you guys except your advice and experiences. Sincerely, a confused young man.
Beckabooo Posted April 7, 2010 Posted April 7, 2010 Hi there. Firstly, I am a little younger than you (and your potential girlfriend), and at 17, most people think I don't understand anything about LDR's or relationships in general; but I really do. My boyfriend (20) lives in Holland, and I'm in the UK. I start University in September, and he still has 2.5 years left of his education. To be honest, your fear of her meeting someone else shouldn't be much of an issue (although, being a naturally anxious person, I share this fear too), as a significant other could meet someone else at any age, at any location or time. Like me, she's young, but if she truly cares for you and her feelings are serious, college won't be a problem at all. Perhaps you should first consider whether you would even move to her (or her to you) before you meet? Otherwise you may develop much stronger feelings for each other, and then decide you can't be together - which seems like a lot of heartbreak for nothing, so to speak. My boyfriend and I spoke for about 4 months before becoming an "item", and then met 3 months later. Before we even met, we knew we'd move to each other after our education had finished, if our meeting was successful and as we'd hoped. In my experience, being young, I know that college/university has/will have no effect on my relationship. I love my boyfriend, even if he is miles away, and as I have no interest in meeting someone new, it isn't much of an issue. If you really like this girl and you could see yourself moving to her and building a future with her, then go visit. Otherwise you'll spend years wondering what 'could have been'.
Author Alex87 Posted April 7, 2010 Author Posted April 7, 2010 Thank you for your reply Becka. You make some good points. I guess it's to early yet to know if we could start a future together. 2 Months for me seems alittle to short to get to know someone, especially over the internet. I do feel really strong about her though and want to meet her. About me worrying if she's going to meet someone i just guess i'll have to trust her. My last gf slept with another guy and that still kinda hangs in the back of my head. Anyways, i'll think about some of the things you said. Thank you.
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