i cheated on him

[dmissy]

We were officially a couple a day before he left to work out of the country. We communicated to each other only at an average of twice a month since it's not possible for us to be always in touch because of the nature of his job (due to technical reasons). On some days I would send him messages via email and would tell him how my day went or how I’m doing. After 7 months, i met this new colleague who said he was interested in me and we immediately clicked. We would go out sometimes and exchange SMS often. After a month i told the other guy that it was time to do the right thing and that i wanted to give my bf a chance; a chance for us to get to know each other more. However, the other guy was persistent and consistent which is why we still went out for another month. There was no intimate contact though since we started going out. After two months of going out with the other guy, I finally told him that we had to end whatever it was we had and didn’t hear from him anymore. I haven’t told my bf yet about what I did when he went home. It was only after 5 months did I tell him about what I did and it was only thru a call. I really felt awful with what I did but didn’t know how to approach and tell him back then. I can say my bf and I have gotten close since he got home and during the 5 months of constant communication. We both know that we love each other very much and we were even talking about marriage. I love him so much and am deeply sorry for hurting and lying to him. I told him that I would do anything and everything so he wouldn’t leave me. He asked me to give him time, he wouldn’t be calling me yet and that he isn’t thinking of breaking up with me. He even asked me to still send him SMS so he’d know how I’m doing. What do I do next? There are times when I can’t stop myself from calling him but I would just end the call without waiting for him to answer. I do not know what to do. I keep on worrying what will happen to us and feel really awful for what I did.

[Lovin a scrapper]

Sorry that you feel bad but I have zero tolerance for cheating no matter the excuse. I would have ended it with you immediately! Feel very fortunate that he is even considering staying with you.

[ADF]

Your story is a good example of why LDRs are alomst always a bad idea. People hate to hear that, but it is true. I am not saying I approve of cheating, but people in circumstances like yours are likely to do it. There is this big lie in the culture that sex shouldn't really matter, that if two people love each other enough they'll be able to wait, blah, blah, blah. It's rubbish. We human being are risen apes, not fallen angels. The vast majority of us need intimacy to stay mentally and emotionally healthy. If you're determined to make this LDR work, you and your partner may need to renegotiate the terms of your relationship. You might need to open it up a bit on both ends. Not all the way open, but maybe open just a crack. It is the only way you're likely to weather a long seperation.

[Rollercoasterr]

I have zero tolerance for cheaters so you won't get even the slightest bit of sympathy from me. Consider yourself lucky he is even entertaining the thought of staying. Personally, I think once a cheater always a cheater. You're obviously not cut out to be in an LDR if you can't be faithful so why bother??

[aerogurl87]

Well OP I hate to say it, but if you cheated on him once, it'll more than likely happen again. Does this mean you're doomed to a life full of cheating on every guy you date? No, but for this relationship with your boyfriend the odds are stacked against you. And even if he does take you back, you'll have to endure having the fact that you cheated on him and he knows about it hanging over your head everyday. And you better believe when you two have disagreements he will bring it up. Cheating is something someone never forgets even if they want to. Your level of trust will always be tainted by the fact that you did cheat on him and not just once, but for 2 or so months. That's a long time.