brooke00 Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 my boyfriend might leave me, we have been together 9 months, when me and my boyfriend got together i texted my previous boyfriends and hid it from him. When i met my boyfriend he was the only one i wanted to be with, but if i let him see my phone i didnt know how he would like it if i talked to my previous boyfriends, so now 9 months later he brought it up and now hes upset and he thinks i cheated on him but i didnt. but hes a really sensative guy, and he gets upset over little things. What do i do to make him realize that i love him and i didnt cheat on him?
imstillnotcool Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 I'm really sorry to hear about your current situation. It's probably not what you want to read, but I don't know if there is anything you can do to make him believe that you haven't. This is where trust in the other person comes in when involved in a serious relationship. Of course you can try to comfort and assure him that you would never do that to him, but it's really going to come down to him.
boogieboy Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 Yeah you screwed up. Not only did you hide the texts from him, but you are basically telling him that you need attention from other men and he isnt good enough. If you want to fix this, show him the texts, tell him exactly why you needed to talk to these guys and that you didnt actually cheat, and that you will stop talking to them for him.
D-Lish Posted April 7, 2010 Posted April 7, 2010 So...you had some correspondence with ex's when you first got together with your bf, but stopped the communication early on? Or... have you chatted with ex's throughout your relationship? I think the early on stuff is forgiveable. When I first start seeing someone, I am not always sure where things are going, and until things are established, I don't focus on one person. I also don't feel the need to tell my SO about every conversation or exchange that I have. The odd communication with an ex isn't cheating, and it's not grounds for breaking up with someone. Were your exchanges with your ex's sexual in nature or something?
cooldudeinberlin Posted April 7, 2010 Posted April 7, 2010 Why would you hide that from him? Seriously? Nothing wrong with communicating and being friends with whom you choose. Its no one else's business and in fact, if someone made such demands and ultimatiums, they would be history before they could be included in my life. The fact that you hid them is the real issue... why? Did you not think it would be okay or did you think you were doing something wrong? OR, was there something really to hide? Either way, you still did it and still hid them, making it a MAJOR character flaw, regardless how innocent you claim it is. This relationship is basically over... so its best to accept that and move on. The lesson learned is why be dishonest? It will always come out and it will always throw you into a bad situation. Next time, be up front and honest...
Author brooke00 Posted April 10, 2010 Author Posted April 10, 2010 it was nothing sexual or getting back together with them, i just didnt know how he would react, i mean i've never had someone to always want to go through my things, but no there was nothing to hide, i just thought he wouldnt give me chance if he knew i was friends with them, i mean i cant have guy friends but he can have gal friends, and he cheated recently, but im not playing the blame game, but i forgave him, bc i love him
Pfiend101 Posted April 10, 2010 Posted April 10, 2010 My recent Ex did this. She was talking to her ex via text. When we first started going out she asked me if I talked to any of my ex's and I said no. That it didnt bother me and it depends on the situation. We were cuddling and I saw her get an incoming text from her ex. She then rolled over so I couldn't see and responded. I didnt say anything at the time but it just kept eating at me. Finally I brought it up and told her I was wrong for telling her that it didn't bother me. I told her that I wasn't going to tell her what to do but if you continue with me you will have to break contact. She ended up hooking up with an ex and we broke up. In my mind there is no reason to be talking to an ex unless there is a child involved. Break contact with your ex's and tell him you wont ever do it again. Something tells me these "friends" of yours have hidden agendas and want to get in your pants. From now on its a big red flag for me if someone I'm dating is talking to an ex. I simply wont put up with it.
123BeachFan Posted April 10, 2010 Posted April 10, 2010 Um. Wait. Back up. OP, you say he recently cheated on you, but you forgave him. And yet the focus here is that you texted your ex BFs at the beginning of your relationship with your BF, about 9 months ago? Um. You two aren't talking about his infidelities? Why? There's some bigger issues here.
Jersey Shortie Posted April 10, 2010 Posted April 10, 2010 Yeah, I was thinking exactly what BeachFan was thinking, plus he is allowed to have gal friends and you aren't allowed to have guy friends? Okay, it's not right that you texted exes and hid it from him. But did you hide it from him because he told you, you weren't allowed to have guy friends while he was allowed to have gal friends? And what's the story about him cheating???? And you all being Susy Sorry Forgivey.
Mme. Chaucer Posted April 10, 2010 Posted April 10, 2010 He sounds like a controlling asshat. Yes, you behaved inappropriately. All sounds pretty immature.
Recommended Posts