janie423 Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 So let's say you are on a date with a guy and things seems to be going well, and then he starts talking about how beautiful other women are. They could be women he knew in high school, women who are his neighbors, exes, movie stars, etc. But he goes on and on talking about how hot these women are. It is a big turnoff. So why do men do it, is it done out of - insecurity - arrogance - ignorance - rudeness If a man talks like this to me I assume he is pushing me away and wants the date to end. I think most women feel this way as well. Guys, what do you think?
Fouts Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 It is a big turnoff. So why do men do it, is it done out of - insecurity - arrogance - ignorance - rudeness If a man talks like this to me I assume he is pushing me away and wants the date to end. I think most women feel this way as well. Guys, what do you think? It's usually one of the 2 things I highlighted.
stillafool Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 I think it is so tacky when men do that. It is definitely insecurity of something their friends told them to do to peak your interest. How stupid? He would have shriveled like a raisin if you had talked about how goodlooking and masculine some other guy was. You should have done that!
cooldudeinberlin Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 wow... have no clue why someone would be so insensitive... even if you two knew each other a while and obviously thinking other people are attractive is a normal, healthy thing a couple can and should openly talk about... a first date? BAD impression... stupid, tactless, totally inexperienced.... social skills are a bit lacking as the dude's total ignorance of women.
somegirlsomewhere Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 Works to achieve what exactly? If you mean it works to make the girl believe you're an ignorant twat.... Well, you wouldn't be flawed.
2sunny Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 who cares WHY he does it - what matters is what YOU do about it. why put up with it? he's trying to train you to put up with disrespectful and degrading behavior. don't do it. he's a dik.
ADF Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 They do it to women they suspect are insecure in order to further deepen their sense of insecurity. They then use this hyper-insecurity to their own advantage. Look, this isn't something decent men do. It is something so-called "players" do. To a player, relationships are not about finding love or companionship or anything. To a player, relationships are predator/prey interaction where the object to use, then humiliate, the woman. Players like sex, but they hate women. They figure the more women they can fool, the more manly they are. For many of them, it isn't even really about the sex. They do what they do as much for ego gratification as for sexual gratification. Consider a man who does this to be waving a giant red flag. He's no good.
Jersey Shortie Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 Don't know why they do it but I've had that experience as well and it made me loose respect for the man in question. It also made me feel pretty unspecial in their company. Why would I continue to put myself in the company of a guy that was more interested in talking about other women then interest in our interaction? OP, if you come on this again, dump the guy. That's all you can do.
Jersey Shortie Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 Joe, I have no doubt that your games work on some women. There are millions of games that work on some men. Doesn't mean I do them just to get what I want. I have no respect for men that laminate the attractiveness of other women when they are on date or with a romantic partner. It's spiteful and mean. You get off on making others feel bad. That's your choice. I choose to be different.
Jersey Shortie Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 I will keep talking. With or without your permission. I am not shy about chattering away. As I said, you like making other people (women) feel bad. That's all I really need to know about you.
Jersey Shortie Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 Who let the 12 year old on LS? I bet this guy has American Pie posters on his walls and rides his skateboard to school.
WalkInThePark Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 Sex sex sex sex now get it? Euh... if the guy wants sex with the girl he is on a date with, would it not be more productive if he tells HER how hot she is? If a guy tells me the whole time how hot other women are, I am not going to have sex with him...
carhill Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 OP, it's a dating tactic. Nothing personal. Certain men follow such tactics to effect a particular PUA style. The type of women they want respond positively to it. You're not one of them, evidently. Next.
Author janie423 Posted April 6, 2010 Author Posted April 6, 2010 OP, it's a dating tactic. Nothing personal. Certain men follow such tactics to effect a particular PUA style. The type of women they want respond positively to it. You're not one of them, evidently. Next. what type of girl responds to this? Yes, I am not the type to respond. what does PUA mean? by the way thanks for the good posts . . .
goatee Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 i find it more of a pain when an average looking girl expects you to not say another girl is hot. And before you think i am an ass, i'm probably a 4 or a 5, and my gf who is about a 8 or 9 never holds back when she sees a hot looking guy.. because i'm SECURE about myself.
annxxdisaster Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 (edited) i find it more of a pain when an average looking girl expects you to not say another girl is hot. And before you think i am an ass, i'm probably a 4 or a 5, and my gf who is about a 8 or 9 never holds back when she sees a hot looking guy.. because i'm SECURE about myself. On the first date though, or one of the first few dates? That's just rude to talk about other people. I don't care if he's telling me how hot his best girl friend is, it doesn't make me feel insecure but it certainly makes him look uninterested and turns me off. I had a guy who in the very beginning stages of our relationship would tell me about how all of these other girls were checking him out, trying to pick him up, or slipped their number to him. One time I think I got upset at him about it and it was because for the past two months he did nothing but try to make me jealous, and I really could care less if he was getting offers for oral sex from Heidi Klum. I was so sick of hearing about it. That relationship didn't last too long. Edited April 6, 2010 by annxxdisaster
Engadget Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 i find it more of a pain when an average looking girl expects you to not say another girl is hot. And before you think i am an ass, i'm probably a 4 or a 5, and my gf who is about a 8 or 9 never holds back when she sees a hot looking guy.. because i'm SECURE about myself. It's a little different when you're dating and know the person. On a first date though? It's just rude. It's like the girl or guy sitting there and texting another girl or guy the whole time on a date with you.
carhill Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 Amygdala/Frontal Lobe Cognitive filter Vocal cords. Exercising all three in balance leads to a healthy and satisfying life. In other words, just because one thinks it and feels it, that does not mean it *has* to roll off their tongue. Enjoy the thought. It's OK. I understand
VertexSquared Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 When a guy does this, it's almost always a function of insecurity. By pointing out other hot women, he's trying to get you to think "Am I up to that standard?" which already gets your mind on the track of "How can I earn this guy's interest/affections/attraction/etc?" Similarly, by making it sound like he's in high-demand by other girls, he's just trying to inflate his worth in your eyes so that you'll pursue harder. Either way, it only works on insecure women. Those who are more secure (like yourself, obviously) can clearly see what these kinds of guys are trying to pull and don't see it as a source of attraction, but rather repulsion because he's not focusing on you directly/respectfully.
sally4sara Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 Such an odd angle to try to work. Never had a guy try this. I don't know as it would upset me, but it would def come off awkward and not in the least bit enticing. If the girl he pointed out was hot, I'd probably just wonder and ask why he needed to point out the obvious to me. I can't imagine a response that wouldn't just dig him a deeper hole and nix a second date.
Author janie423 Posted April 6, 2010 Author Posted April 6, 2010 i find it more of a pain when an average looking girl expects you to not say another girl is hot. And before you think i am an ass, i'm probably a 4 or a 5, and my gf who is about a 8 or 9 never holds back when she sees a hot looking guy.. because i'm SECURE about myself. not on a first date or first few dates . . . and not just girls he sees, but girls he knew in the past, etc. and not rant on and on about it. a man should be telling the girl he is with how hot SHE is. That takes more guts than spewing about random women that pass by . . . or girls he knew that obviously don't want to know him anymore . . .
Author janie423 Posted April 6, 2010 Author Posted April 6, 2010 When a guy does this, it's almost always a function of insecurity. By pointing out other hot women, he's trying to get you to think "Am I up to that standard?" which already gets your mind on the track of "How can I earn this guy's interest/affections/attraction/etc?" Similarly, by making it sound like he's in high-demand by other girls, he's just trying to inflate his worth in your eyes so that you'll pursue harder. Either way, it only works on insecure women. Those who are more secure (like yourself, obviously) can clearly see what these kinds of guys are trying to pull and don't see it as a source of attraction, but rather repulsion because he's not focusing on you directly/respectfully. well said . . . excellent post
ADF Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 Euh... if the guy wants sex with the girl he is on a date with, would it not be more productive if he tells HER how hot she is? If a guy tells me the whole time how hot other women are, I am not going to have sex with him... With regards to most women, you're absolutely right. But men who play these kinds of games don't play them on random, attractive women. They look for women who they see as damaged in some way, and vulnerable. They break down their self-esteeem, then come back with, "but I like you." It is just a ploy to lure women with low self-esteem into bed. It is an ugly game.
Jersey Shortie Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 i find it more of a pain when an average looking girl expects you to not say another girl is hot. And before you think i am an ass, i'm probably a 4 or a 5, and my gf who is about a 8 or 9 never holds back when she sees a hot looking guy.. because i'm SECURE about myself. A) Not sure what is so hard about not laminating over all the hot people that cross your path. B) Men are not judged as hashly for their looks. Reason why you will find more ugly/average men with beautiful women then vice versa. There are other things that strike more deeply at masculinity that I wouldn't fault a guy for being annoyed about if his girl kept laminating on it. And as Janie said, why would you waste time talking about all the hot other women when you had a woman you cared about in your presense? What's important here? You're attractive to other women or building the security and excitment in the relationship you have? Shouldn't you be trying to make her feel good? Those other girls walking by probably don't care about you, probably don't really even want your attention and certainly are never going to do anything for you. You don't bond with women by telling them about all the other women you like.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 So let's say you are on a date with a guy and things seems to be going well, and then he starts talking about how beautiful other women are. They could be women he knew in high school, women who are his neighbors, exes, movie stars, etc. But he goes on and on talking about how hot these women are. It is a big turnoff. So why do men do it, is it done out of - insecurity - arrogance - ignorance - rudeness If a man talks like this to me I assume he is pushing me away and wants the date to end. I think most women feel this way as well. Guys, what do you think? Your instincts are great! It's when you don't follow them that society loses.
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