phoenix1 Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 So, I have been doing really well, moving on, trying to be positive, and then on FB I inadvertently see that my ex is now "in a relationship with" someone he has known for maybe 5-6 weeks. Why is this a big deal? Because the entire time we were together,(several years) he just left his status blank, as did I. I had some feelings about it - I kind of think people in committed relationships that don't say so on their status are kind of keeping their options open. And that was our issue, his problems with commitment. But, we had a great relationship and whatever, it felt petty, and truly I didn't really care. And the girlfriend he had just before this one (for several months) -he never changed his status. You know it is what it is, and it's kind of ridiculous, 5 weeks?! I also think maybe she put him up to it, because it is sooo not him. I know I shouldn't care, but it hurt for a moment. I'll get over it and keep moving on. Ah yes, the new kinds of pain technology brings us.
CaliGuy Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 That is why you block exes on FB. Leaving yourself open to seeing their FB page is simply going to remind you of things you don't need to know. 1
2sunny Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 That is why you block exes on FB. Leaving yourself open to seeing their FB page is simply going to remind you of things you don't need to know. ahahaha, so true... and so useful just to block them...
Author phoenix1 Posted April 6, 2010 Author Posted April 6, 2010 yeah, he's defriended, I guess I didn't realize I should block him. We have many mutual friends, and honestly sometimes it is almost impossible to not hear his name, or this or that. It's really hard sometimes...I mean what do I do, get all new friends? And, well I already saw it this time. And I'm hurt...5 weeks? Whatever.
USMCHokie Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 Why is this a big deal? Because the entire time we were together,(several years) he just left his status blank, as did I. I had some feelings about it - I kind of think people in committed relationships that don't say so on their status are kind of keeping their options open. And that was our issue, his problems with commitment. But, we had a great relationship and whatever, it felt petty, and truly I didn't really care. And the girlfriend he had just before this one (for several months) -he never changed his status. This jumped out at me...because during my relationship with my ex, although we were FB relationship'ed to each other, we never did status updates about each other or wrote on each other's walls...but when she started seeing the new guy about a month or so after our breakup, she had him plastered all over her wall...status updates like every 10 minutes about how happy she was with him... I honestly think it was a coping mechanism for her...to show the world that she was doing great...so who knows...it's no longer relevant or worthy of thought...
Author phoenix1 Posted April 6, 2010 Author Posted April 6, 2010 That sucks...but doesn't it almost seem like they are trying to prove something? Both of our exes? And, without going into a long boring story, I have a reason to believe it was done intentionally to piss me off/get a reaction out of me. He is not too down with the NC.....and always wants to be friends..especially between relationships, so of course I will be responding....with no response of any kind. yeah, you're right it doesn't matter, but it still sucks. And I'm already letting it go....shows me how far I've come. Several months ago I would have been crying for days over this.
2yearsNC Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 (edited) Here is some food for thought. I created my EX profile. I left my status as single, she left her status as single. It didn't really matter and as you say, I was leaving my options open until I fell in love with her and then I just never got around to changing it. EItherway, we broke up in feb of 08. It turns out she was fawking some guy since Sept 07. Yada yada yada, I was hurt, yada yada yada, took it bad, hated her, yada yada yada, anyway. I blocked her on facebook for about a year, I unblocked her in Jan 09. Within 24 hours of me unblocking her, she changed her relationship status to "in a relationship" I found that odd on multiple accounts a) Why did she wait a whole year to change it? b) It was strange she changed it within 24 hours of me unblocking her (means she was checking my profile constantly) c) who gives a fawk. Eitherway, the point I'm trying to make is, facebook is the devil. Block him, leave him block and in about a year or two, you'll forget you even have him blocked. To contiune on the facebook drama, about a 3 months ago, Jan 2010, I blocked off my wall so only FRIENDS could see it. Guess what? Within 48 hours, my EX blocked her wall so only friends can see it... I thought that was rather odd. I then UNBLOCKED my wall. She then UNBLOCKED her wall Thats when I knew for 100% sure she was checking out my profile, 2 years after the split with complete NC, despite the fact, of how she hated me so. Why am I checking? I don't know Why she is checking? I have no clue, I suppose whomever she left me for didn't make her forget me. I guess I should smile on that one :-), anyhow the point I'm trying to make is: Forget about facebook, its the devil. Its going to screw with your head and pro-long the suffering. Don't even look, even if your curious. It will only make things worst. Anyhow, I just checked my EX's profile. There is never any new information on there, I can't learn nothing, well I did stock her one friend online and saw allot of photos on her friends page. Looks like she's working at some company, then it looks like they party allot and I saw one picture of the guy she left me for, sad really. Then again I did threw her out mutiple times, fired her several times, and almost strangled her another time, I wonder who really left who. Odd though, it most of the pictures I saw, looks like she picked up ALLOT of my personality traits. At least she kept the ipod I gave her. Don't be like me. Me on the other hand, I have nothing, not even one picture. I threw away everything, and deleted everything, and trashed all the panties and clothes, lipstick, lib-gloss, digital photos, all the furniture, everything GONE, soon I won't remember I knew her or that she is even alive. Facebook is only going to mess up your head, block him, try to not look, try to not care, it will only make things worst for you. Edited April 6, 2010 by 2yearsNC 1
Meaplus3 Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 So, I have been doing really well, moving on, trying to be positive, and then on FB I inadvertently see that my ex is now "in a relationship with" someone he has known for maybe 5-6 weeks. Why is this a big deal? Because the entire time we were together,(several years) he just left his status blank, as did I. I had some feelings about it - I kind of think people in committed relationships that don't say so on their status are kind of keeping their options open. And that was our issue, his problems with commitment. But, we had a great relationship and whatever, it felt petty, and truly I didn't really care. And the girlfriend he had just before this one (for several months) -he never changed his status. You know it is what it is, and it's kind of ridiculous, 5 weeks?! I also think maybe she put him up to it, because it is sooo not him. I know I shouldn't care, but it hurt for a moment. I'll get over it and keep moving on. Ah yes, the new kinds of pain technology brings us. And this is all exactly why I do not do FB. IMO, it cn cause to much trouble. I say delete the person as a friend. If you continue to look at his status and info.. it will only cause your more pain and misery. Mea:) 1
nobmagnet Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 facebook sucks. I am fortunate because lowly never added me but he has my daughter. He reactivated his acc 3 months ago apparently and so she had a peek. His new gf is on it and she is pretty. But apart from that little nose i find it very negative to spy on them when we should be working on ourselves. Facebook keeps the wound open and poors salt in it too. Do your self a favour and delete her/him. and start to live your own life. Nobby xx 1
DustySaltus Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 A guy goes to the doctor and he says to the doctor, "Doc, it hurts when I do THIS". The doc says, "So DON'T do THAT"! First of all FB is nonsense. When you get to know people behind their profile page you realize just how "embellished" their lives really are. It's a fantasy world where everyone talks about how great their lives are and only post the best of the best pictures. Everyone is happy, everything is great................IT'S NONSENSE and not reality. Focus on yourself, delete him and use that energy from the anger and confusion this may have caused to better yourself.... 1
Author phoenix1 Posted April 6, 2010 Author Posted April 6, 2010 FB can be the devil...for sure. And BTW everyone, he is deleted. The mutual friend thing however, makes our paths cross more than I would like.
DustySaltus Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 My ex and I had over 100 mutual friends (mostly mine though), so I just deleted the whole thing. 1
annxxdisaster Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 I don't know why relationship status should matter so much on facebook. I'd rather keep it blank or hidden simply because I hate all the commotion that happens when anyone changes their relationship status to ANYTHING. People are really nosy about that sort of thing, myself included. I'd From the sound of this thread/general trends it seems like it's a really good idea to keep relationships and facebook separate.
just1guy Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 (edited) So, I have been doing really well, moving on, trying to be positive, and then on FB I inadvertently see that my ex is now "in a relationship with" someone he has known for maybe 5-6 weeks. Why is this a big deal? Because the entire time we were together,(several years) he just left his status blank, as did I. I had some feelings about it - I kind of think people in committed relationships that don't say so on their status are kind of keeping their options open. And that was our issue, his problems with commitment. But, we had a great relationship and whatever, it felt petty, and truly I didn't really care. And the girlfriend he had just before this one (for several months) -he never changed his status. You know it is what it is, and it's kind of ridiculous, 5 weeks?! I also think maybe she put him up to it, because it is sooo not him. I know I shouldn't care, but it hurt for a moment. I'll get over it and keep moving on. Ah yes, the new kinds of pain technology brings us. The same thing happened to me back in January. A month after we broke up, she had changed her FB status to "in a relationship with...". The thing is, she also had problems with commitment (I found out later), so the time we were together, we really didn't do the whole status thing. I think she's really trying hard to overcome her commitment issues so by advertising it, she's labeling herself in a commited relationship. On the surface it may work, but deep inside, her issues cannot be resolved by a simple relationship status. This is why I've avoid FB since then. I find that if I avoid it all together, then I won't be tempted to look up her profile. Three months later, I'm glad I stopped the FB nonsense. Edited April 6, 2010 by just1guy 1
CaliGuy Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 Search his profile, copy his name, BLOCK him in your privacy settings. Problem solved. You can move on in peace.
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