arielle Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 This is kinda complicated but I'll try. A close friend of mine(mya) has this guy friend that she is super close to. They've known each other for 4yrs and have done everything but have sex with each other. I met her at my job and have only known her for a yr but I do value our friendship. Anyway this guy has been making a lot of moves on me. Four nights over the past week have been really crazy. We got drunk and just had a good time. We made out and he told me he liked me and one night we just hung out and cuddled. He also made out with mya that night. The next day Mya told me that he thought I was really pretty and wouldn't stop talking about me. I am attracted to him but I've never been in a situation like this. It's very weird. It's as though they have an open relationship but they claim to just be really good friends. Should i stay away? Or should I give him a try?
whichwayisup Posted April 7, 2010 Posted April 7, 2010 Don't get involved with him. This guy will come between you and your friend. He's now fooled around with you both.. And he'll continue to do that, which is going to cause problems. Does she know that you like him?
cooldudeinberlin Posted April 7, 2010 Posted April 7, 2010 Let me ask you something and I dont mean it offensive.... are there any other potential prospects for you? Is this the only guy you can get? Are you that desperate? Has it been a long time that someone has paid you attention and/or that you confuse it for genuine feelings? These, for the exception of one, are rhetorical questions as Im sure the answers to all of them are NO.... There ya go... dont get involved with twisted situations... regardess of your desire or what you might perceive as your desire, will quickly dissipate after his or your or both's orgasm. Work mate - friend - dude sort of playing both angles, but has a history with the other..... Sorry, that sounds like a bucket full of gasoline with somone smoking above it.
Author arielle Posted April 8, 2010 Author Posted April 8, 2010 Does she know that you like him? Funny that you ask b/c I'm not even sure I like him myself.
Author arielle Posted April 8, 2010 Author Posted April 8, 2010 Let me ask you something and I dont mean it offensive.... are there any other potential prospects for you? Is this the only guy you can get? Are you that desperate? Has it been a long time that someone has paid you attention and/or that you confuse it for genuine feelings? Geeze how can I not be offended. I do get what you're saying though and I feel pathetic b/c it really has been a long time (almost 2 yrs) that someone has given me that much attention. You're absolutely right I don't think my feelings for him are genuine at all. Thanks so much that was an eye opener. Okay so now that this is out the way he has been calling me nonstop and I don't know how to tell him leave me alone. I don't want to say it in such a way that the next time we see each other its awkward, I mean he's a cool dude I just want to know how to let him know that nothing is ever going to happen between both of us and that I'm not interested. I would have no problem doing this if I knew for a fact that we would never end up in the same setting.
Author arielle Posted April 8, 2010 Author Posted April 8, 2010 Let me ask you something and I dont mean it offensive.... are there any other potential prospects for you? Is this the only guy you can get? Are you that desperate? Has it been a long time that someone has paid you attention and/or that you confuse it for genuine feelings? Geeze how can I not be offended. I do get what you're saying though and I feel pathetic b/c it really has been a long time (almost 2 yrs) that someone has given me that much attention. You're absolutely right I don't think my feelings for him are genuine at all. Thanks so much that was an eye opener. Okay so now that this is out the way he has been calling me nonstop and I don't know how to tell him leave me alone. I don't want to say it in such a way that the next time we see each other its awkward, I mean he's a cool dude I just want to know how to let him know that nothing is ever going to happen between both of us and that I'm not interested. I would have no problem doing this if I knew for a fact that we would never end up in the same setting.
cooldudeinberlin Posted April 8, 2010 Posted April 8, 2010 I didnt mean it so harsh... it was really a rhetorical question mean to make you realize you have a lot more going for you than you realize, regardless of how many options you may have had in the last 2 years (which may be inadvertantly your own doing/decision) maybe your perception of him (which could have been influenced by your friend's) make you put him on the "cool" pedalstal and that the attention he showed you made you feel special. Well, you are special and probably a lot have noticed that, but didnt get your "cool" approval, so it might not mean much to you. Seriously, if he is foaming at the mouth and coming on so strong as to call non stop, how cool can he be? Dont let the 2 years of whatever make you feel that you are unworthy... remember, you had complete control over all that the entire time... even if it were subconscious reasons... this situation should be a really cool reminder of how those you appreciate and admire actually do appreciate and admire you in return... not just Mr Cool... but many more... you should walk away from this with a smile and bit of wisdom of "how you still have it and never really lost it"
blueeyedman Posted April 8, 2010 Posted April 8, 2010 I've been in a similar situation (as a guy.) My advice is to avoid him like the plague... it will seriously affect your friendship...
Author arielle Posted April 13, 2010 Author Posted April 13, 2010 Thanks everyone all your input and advice have been very very useful...and I have ended whatever it was that was going on wooohooo
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