so_mo34 Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 have been seeing this guy i work with for 7 months. nothing official though, but i really liked him that's why i kept seeing him. he dissapeared on me a couple times like not contacting me and then contact me again. i tried not to think much of it and went back. he is on vacation right now and i find out he's been playing me. im 22 and he's 35. i feel so stupid and used. we have been texting each other all week while he's on vacation. he wanted me to go over on the weekend when he gets back. when he texts me again, should i call him out? or should i wait until he gets back? is it okay if i text this "found out you been playing me..i'm done". ? i can't stop crying.
boogieboy Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 text him right this second. Let him know you know. If its a misunderstanding, you can be eased of pain. if its true, then you can keep him in the doghouse until he gets back, and you shouldnt go to see him anyway.
DustySaltus Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 Sorry about your situation. For future reference when a guy tells you that he doesn't want anything serious or is unwilling to make it "official" it's safe to assume that you are not the only one in the picture. You have to be clear about what YOU want and set boundaries early on. This way you can figure out where someone's head is at without wasting a tremendous period of time. You should call him out on it but things will go one of three ways: 1) He denies it. 2) He admits it but says that he never thought you were serious. 3) He breaks up with you/You break up with him because of the new girl.
2sunny Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 have been seeing this guy i work with for 7 months. nothing official though, but i really liked him that's why i kept seeing him. he dissapeared on me a couple times like not contacting me and then contact me again. i tried not to think much of it and went back. he is on vacation right now and i find out he's been playing me. im 22 and he's 35. i feel so stupid and used. we have been texting each other all week while he's on vacation. he wanted me to go over on the weekend when he gets back. when he texts me again, should i call him out? or should i wait until he gets back? is it okay if i text this "found out you been playing me..i'm done". ? i can't stop crying. what evidence do you have? what has your agreement been in seeing each other these past 7 months? stick to your evidence and agreement. ask him to explain if there are discrepancies. there is usually a reason why someone disappears... it's usually not a mystery... why did he disappear in the past. on this one - is he on vacation with her? if so, i think you have reason to understand that he holds her as the top priority... don't take excuses. call it what it is and tell him exactly what it looks like to you.
ADF Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 You've been seeing this man for 7 months, yet there is "nothing official" between you? You're 22 and he's 35? He does disappearing acts? All these are GIANT red flags. I am shocked didn't see any of them. I am shocked no one you may have spoken to about this man ever saw them. It is an unhealthy, exploitative relationship. Tell him you're done, and never go back.
2sunny Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 i just read the back story in your other posts. you are willingly his f buddy. either accept it for NO feelings and no effort - or get out. you are expecting something when there's nothing to expect. accept nothing or end it. you must have feelings beyond the agreement, best to get out since it looks like he's hurting you by you having false expectations.
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