rose45 Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 First off, i have been dating and trying to keep busy. Was with my ex for 3 and a half years..it was petty stuff i think that broke us apart.. fighting over things i regret.. no one cheated.. we did have alot of love.. he broke it off... a year later i leave him a vmail and he calls me back right away and i tell him all these regrets after a few minutes.. basically he said he couldnt just jump back into this which was understandable and that he needs to straighten other things out and also just get his head together for this. We have been talking for months having long convos etc. I am in my mid 20's and only just got my permit a few days ago due to my dad's insurance being raised etc and money. So i told him i was going to get it and i actually got it friday rather than this week. He called last night to wish me luck not knowing i already took it... It turns out a friend had stopped over to see me and my family and i had two glasses of wine but felt tipsy from it because i don't drink much. I said good news, i have it already..took the test friday and said it was very easy. He joked calling me a nerd etc etc I Also said i wanted to call him but didn't know if he was busy(especially with it being friday when i got it etc) and he said i could have called which was nice. I joked with him which i did before that he should be teaching me to drive and helping me pick out a car. He said my father can do that and he said how my father would probably be insulted if he wasn't doing that with me. I felt a little sad with him not even saying we'll see as kind of the possibility of one day soon he could teach me b.c i basically won't be allowed to drive my father's car anyway so its not about him teaching me. Also felt like maybe with the wine I sounded bad or stupid on the phone or something? I just think i would have said some things differently or not mention some stuff at all. Nothing too bad was said i dont think. We spoke for about 30 minutes and he said he was gonna go. I texted him about 10 minutes later saying i had wine tonight with a frown face almost to show i wasn't feeling well and if i sounded different then he knows why. He didn't respond back. Should i call tonight to talk for 10 minutes or so make sure the air is clear and i didn't say anything too wrong or nothing was done so bad on my part and wait a few days?
monkeymaid Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 you sound love sick already! dont worry about sounding silly. ...just relax here. you life seems to be moving forward. take some joy out of that fact, and dont worry about his thoughts. they are his, you dont control them. try and steer your own thoughts into something enjoyable. ...enjoy your wine. ....have another glass even! let it happen how its gonna happen. your doing fine! just wondering. why did he breakup it off?
Author rose45 Posted April 6, 2010 Author Posted April 6, 2010 thanks for your reply! guess it was bad timing..didn't expect him to call. Do you think i can call him tonight to clear the air just in case?? after 10 minutes or so i would get off the phone he never responded to the text. I just get worried i can do something wrong to steer this away.
norajane Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 Why do you need to call him to get reassurance that you didn't say anything "wrong"? What could you have possibly said that was "wrong"? You are disappointed he didn't volunteer to teach you to drive. And maybe you are disappointed that he didn't jump at the chance to spend time with you after these months of long conversations? I think that is what you are really look for reassurance for from him, but you won't get that in a phone call. If her were ready to take your relationship to the next step, you wouldn't have to ask and you wouldn't feel so anxious about saying something "wrong" during an innocuous conversation about learning to drive.
norajane Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 thanks for your reply! guess it was bad timing..didn't expect him to call. Do you think i can call him tonight to clear the air just in case?? after 10 minutes or so i would get off the phone he never responded to the text. I just get worried i can do something wrong to steer this away. I don't think there is any air that needs to be cleared. You are anxious for other reasons. Give him some space to MISS YOU instead of texting and phoning all the time.
Author rose45 Posted April 6, 2010 Author Posted April 6, 2010 no..i'm not looking for reassurance regarding teaching me to drive or seeing me..i definitely wouldn't be bringing it up in the convo so kinda relax there with the assumption. i just felt bad like i know alot of people would if they had some alcohol and maybe felt like they didn't act themselves.
norajane Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 no..i'm not looking for reassurance regarding teaching me to drive or seeing me..i definitely wouldn't be bringing it up in the convo so kinda relax there with the assumption. i just felt bad like i know alot of people would if they had some alcohol and maybe felt like they didn't act themselves. I wasn't making an assumption. You said: I felt a little sad with him not even saying we'll see as kind of the possibility of one day soon he could teach me
Author rose45 Posted April 6, 2010 Author Posted April 6, 2010 thanks for the response! i definitely don't call or text him all the time either. Just tonight i really felt like i wanted to because of last night. yes, i was a little disappointed about that--its not the reason i would be calling tonight though.....
monkeymaid Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 you sound VERY outcome dependant here. ...leave th guy alone tonight. gather yourself, then when you are clear headed, you can make any decision you want. ....u didnt mess anything up!!!!!!!!!!!! wine does that sometimes. ...it alters your judgement. ...about everything, but usually its perceptions about yourself. ...seriously, just calm yourself and find a reason to smile! then think about it tomorrow
Author rose45 Posted April 6, 2010 Author Posted April 6, 2010 ok sounds good..thanks!!! i feel guilty about things easily but especially in this situation because i feel like its already a sensitive one u know?
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