That_girl Posted April 5, 2010 Posted April 5, 2010 Hello all, I have just gone to hell and back with my not-so-recent break-up. We have been broken up for about 3 months with no intention of getting back together and not even a smidgen of contact. I should add, that he "dumped" me....and at the time I was completely devasted to lose him. At the present moment, I'm just dealing with the huge blow to my self-esteem, it's not even him anymore. Anyway, I'm trying to start dating again. But I'm realizing that I'm actually terrified of pursuing anyone, or letting my guard down. I don't think I can handle another rejection....this was my first. I started talking to a dude that mutual friends hooked me up with. So far we've only talked while we've been out with those mutual friends, with the occasional text messaging here and there. He actually got my number a little over a week ago, and hadn't called/texted me at all. I ended up seeing him this past weekend at a house party, and he told me that he expected ME TO CALL HIM. Being a feminist and all, I should have accepted this....however, I'm still kinda oldschool where it comes to dating. I think that the guy should call first. This dude just got out of a long term relationship as well, so could it be that he is also just afraid of rejection? We did hang out this weekend, and he actually called me on saturday night to meet up alone before we met up with our friends. We went for some drinks and the conversation was good, there was attraction etc. etc., but I kind of get the feeling he wants me to chase him. He told me that I don't have to be afraid to call him, and that he would like to hear from me and all of that. But if he really liked me, wouldn't he have called me? I feel like if it wasn't for the fact that we have mutual friends, I wouldn't have ever seen him again. Ugh I don't know what's acceptable in the world of dating anymore. I actually like this guy though....he's the first date I've had where I didn't even think about my ex AT ALL. He's also a total gentlemen, so I know he's not only into sex. What is going on here then? He blatantly expressed that he was interested in me before...right in front of my two friends! I have no idea...this is all kind of making me wish I was back in a relationship. It felt so much secure at times.
melodymatters Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 However much dating has changed or not changed, speaking your mind honestly, with a smile on your face, always works out one way or another. I would have no problem saying to this guy " Honey, if you want to see me, you need to call me" and leave it at that. If he doesn't call, he wasn't that interested ( for a myriad of his OWN reasons i'm sure, nothing to take personally) If he does, cool, take it from there. Dating rule number one is to be calm, cool, collected, confident and say what's on your mind. Games are for children at birthday parties !
Odyssey Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 I would think that people get in contact with those they like right? including calling. I believe guys should do most of the initiating too, but if it's really bothering you why don't you just call him. It's not that big a deal. There is no right or wrong here.
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