Hazyhead Posted April 5, 2010 Posted April 5, 2010 Reading on this forum just now has me thinking it a shame that's it's sometimes so negative. Yes, I know, it's about affairs and therefore loaded with negativity. But, there is the positive too and with today being a day of faith maybe it'd be nice to share some (not saying affairs are fab.. bear with me); I recently started NC and for the first time in a long time I feel free, physically to a certain extent in that I'm not restricted to what I can or cannot do, but moreso emotionally. Sure, it's not all roses, but there are some there and more seem to be blooming all the time. I know with the whole of my being that the end of the affair was the best thing that's happened to me in a long time (as well as, in other ways, the worst). I'm enjoying life again now and those that know me have commented on how I seem to be returning to myself again (I hadn't even noticed I was away). Life moves on and we either move with it or wallow in the mess left behind. For those that are struggling with the end of an affair right now let's share some of the positives that have come from the ending of one. Anybody?
Just a stone's throw Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 I am religious. I am struggling, all day as a matter of fact to come up with something meaningful to post here. I know that this one should be so easy for me. But it's not coming to me. I think I've extinguished my holy flame. I'm not sure how to get that re-lit either. Feeling a bit low.
Heather1 Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 I'm not that religious, but I still try to do the right thing. In all aspects of my life, I do (almost to a fault). For some reason, I thought OM & I needed eachother?? Maybe we did, for that moment in time?? Both going through a rough patch & we handled it wrong. Now it's a disaster. As for what it's freed me up to do....A TON!! I was totally focused on him the past few years, not on me. He thought it was cool I did certain things, but I even stopped doing those because my mind was on my friggin cell phone. I'm playing piano again, reading, got to go on my trip & take care of my Mom the past few weeks. Didn't think about him much on my trip at all. I did at my Mom's, but I kept logging on here to keep my head straight. I had to take care of her, so I didn't get together with friends while I was home. I pretty much isolated myself too, so no one would know. I have a favorite sport, that I stopped playing. I started back up and have been bringing my kids w/ me. We used to bring out the best in eachother (I thought), but I don't think he brought out the best in me. Oh, and I have a new hair color & totally tan from my trip. Everyone's complimenting my new look! I do think about him though.... but as for what kind of person I am without him.....much improved.
pureinheart Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 I am religious. I am struggling' date=' all day as a matter of fact to come up with something meaningful to post here. I know that this one should be so easy for me. But it's not coming to me. I think I've extinguished my holy flame. I'm not sure how to get that re-lit either. Feeling a bit low.[/quote'] ((((((((((JAST)))))))))), Your flame will be re-lit, sooner than you think, and your flame shall be brighter than before. The worst is over and the best is yet to come, and if God were to tell what He is about to do for you would not believe it!!!!!!
fooled once Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 Reading on this forum just now has me thinking it a shame that's it's sometimes so negative. Yes, I know, it's about affairs and therefore loaded with negativity. But, there is the positive too and with today being a day of faith maybe it'd be nice to share some (not saying affairs are fab.. bear with me); I recently started NC and for the first time in a long time I feel free, physically to a certain extent in that I'm not restricted to what I can or cannot do, but moreso emotionally. Sure, it's not all roses, but there are some there and more seem to be blooming all the time. I know with the whole of my being that the end of the affair was the best thing that's happened to me in a long time (as well as, in other ways, the worst). I'm enjoying life again now and those that know me have commented on how I seem to be returning to myself again (I hadn't even noticed I was away). Life moves on and we either move with it or wallow in the mess left behind. For those that are struggling with the end of an affair right now let's share some of the positives that have come from the ending of one. Anybody? Hi Hazy! I was so glad to read your 2nd paragraph!! (hug) I am glad you are healing and returning to a 'lesson learned, much improved, better outlook on life' you We make mistakes. We hopefully learn from those mistakes. All we can do is pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and move forward! My positive from ending my affair? It freed me up to focus on ME and my health (which had deteriorated badly due to stress) and when I wasn't expecting it, I found my H and his love, support and respect has helped me to become someone who I really like. His faith in me has helped me in more ways than I can ever say and I am honored to be his wife. I am very happy you are doing better!!
Just a stone's throw Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 Pure - Thanks for that! That was very sweet and hit me in my heart, I needed it! I snoozed for a bit and am feeling better. Some days are just harder than others. Whenever I start thinking that I'm doing the wrong thing and how much I miss him, I think about all the negative things that he led me to or meant to me which definitely turns my mind around but it's the "negative" thoughts that bring me down. Not a negative person by nature so having to put the "negative in front of the positive" to turn my mind around is a downer. Which leads to this post!! Yes, I have more time for myself since I'm not CONSTANTLY looking at my blackberry, waiting for a reply. Yes, I can make dates with my friends (when I actually have free time which isn't often) instead of holding out that time "just in case he's free".... Yes, I am more attentive and patient and present with my husband.... All this positivity - I hope I can get back to sleep!!:laugh:
Author Hazyhead Posted April 7, 2010 Author Posted April 7, 2010 Hi Hazy! I was so glad to read your 2nd paragraph!! (hug) I am glad you are healing and returning to a 'lesson learned, much improved, better outlook on life' you We make mistakes. We hopefully learn from those mistakes. All we can do is pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and move forward! My positive from ending my affair? It freed me up to focus on ME and my health (which had deteriorated badly due to stress) and when I wasn't expecting it, I found my H and his love, support and respect has helped me to become someone who I really like. His faith in me has helped me in more ways than I can ever say and I am honored to be his wife. I am very happy you are doing better!! Thank you, FO! I do have my weak moments in which a memory hits me or something but I'm getting better at distracting myself and the moments just seem to get a little less painful to think about. You don't often talk about your experience with the affair, instead you focus a lot on you and your husband, and I hope to be there too myself one day But I'm with you on how the faith of those you love can help pull you through. I'm just sorry I neglected them somewhat during the affair. The ending of the affair does free us and I'm so happy to be free.
Author Hazyhead Posted April 7, 2010 Author Posted April 7, 2010 Pure - Thanks for that! That was very sweet and hit me in my heart, I needed it! I snoozed for a bit and am feeling better. Some days are just harder than others. Whenever I start thinking that I'm doing the wrong thing and how much I miss him, I think about all the negative things that he led me to or meant to me which definitely turns my mind around but it's the "negative" thoughts that bring me down. Not a negative person by nature so having to put the "negative in front of the positive" to turn my mind around is a downer. Which leads to this post!! Yes, I have more time for myself since I'm not CONSTANTLY looking at my blackberry, waiting for a reply. Yes, I can make dates with my friends (when I actually have free time which isn't often) instead of holding out that time "just in case he's free".... Yes, I am more attentive and patient and present with my husband.... All this positivity - I hope I can get back to sleep!!:laugh: This is the great part JAST. The negative will get fewer and fewer as time goes on I'm sure. And those postives? They're bound to grow. (((hugs)))
pureinheart Posted April 7, 2010 Posted April 7, 2010 Pure - Thanks for that! That was very sweet and hit me in my heart, I needed it! I snoozed for a bit and am feeling better. Some days are just harder than others. Whenever I start thinking that I'm doing the wrong thing and how much I miss him, I think about all the negative things that he led me to or meant to me which definitely turns my mind around but it's the "negative" thoughts that bring me down. Not a negative person by nature so having to put the "negative in front of the positive" to turn my mind around is a downer. Which leads to this post!! Yes, I have more time for myself since I'm not CONSTANTLY looking at my blackberry, waiting for a reply. Yes, I can make dates with my friends (when I actually have free time which isn't often) instead of holding out that time "just in case he's free".... Yes, I am more attentive and patient and present with my husband.... All this positivity - I hope I can get back to sleep!!:laugh: I am soooo glad you are doing much better....and it is better and better!
Getting_stronger Posted April 7, 2010 Posted April 7, 2010 Gosh this LS is a wierd place- its like mini-me's around the world I too have stopped praying because I figure God wont listen to an adulterer anyway... and I also stopped making plans with friends on the off chance that my AP may have a few spare moments to flick my way. I loved alll your responses to this thread- thank you for your wonderfulness
Recommended Posts