unsureLP Posted April 5, 2010 Posted April 5, 2010 Gunny, your term nails it. I can't think of a better way to describe it. We were doing so well since the last time we fought (a couple of weeks ago) - we would have disagreements and bypass the fight; we were making compromises; actually having fun as a family! We were doing so well in fact that he was trying to convince me to stop MC. He thinks we don't need it anymore. Then this weekend.... I don't know if I mentioned this before, but our DD rejects my husband constantly. Sometimes she has fun with him, gives him spontaneous hugs, etc. But she always prefers me and she goes through phases when she outright screams if he tries to hold her, take her from me, or do anything that's part of her routine (baths, reading books). It kills him. Neither of us knows why she acts that way and we've tried everything I can think of to create more of a bond between them. So this weekend she did it again. He got so upset, he started saying (not yelling thankfully) that he regrets having he, he can't live with her, and that he's leaving us. He's going away for his job this week, and I convinced him to take the week to calm down and then we can talk. So he said he would go away for work, and if he's happy away this week, then he's not coming back. WTF. I don't even know how to react. She's only 18 months old! I try to understand his side, that it's so hard to have her reject him, but... Isn't this sort of common? For kids to prefer one parent for a while? I don't see parents abandoning their kids because of that. This isn't the first time he threatens to leave because of her. I don't want her growing up with these sort of behaviors or comments ("I regret her") because she will internalize all this guilt. I think I'm dangerously close to giving up. What do I do?
nobmagnet Posted April 5, 2010 Posted April 5, 2010 OMG??????????????? he said what?? she is a baby for crissake and she is probably picking up on his vibes. If he has shouted in the past the mere sound of his voice might scare her/him. This needs to be pointed out by his parents. How tha hell he could blame a baby and not himself is beyond belif. He should question why she/he feels this way and somebody needs to explain this to him. Im sorry if i sound angry but I am. He isnt a man. and if he goes........well bloody hell love whats he gonna be like when its a toddler drawing on the walls and pooing on the floor and throwing paddies???? Think about that. This guy needs help. Nobby (cross nobby) xx
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