professorTR Posted April 5, 2010 Posted April 5, 2010 I'm really struggling with something now guys. My wife and I have been separated for nine months. I just found out this morning that she is now sleeping with someone else, and it is killing me!!! I'm with someone else too, so in a way I'm a hypocrite, but she was the one that left and I found this person months later. It hurts me more because she's choosing to have sex with this guy over me, whereas I would've preferred to stay with her. It's like I'm settling for second best while she's throwing it in my face. I can't cope...i really need help with this. I can just picture her doing it and it makes me sick. All of the things we used to say to each other during our 7 years don't seem to matter, so long as this new guy bones her. I just want to cry.
nobmagnet Posted April 5, 2010 Posted April 5, 2010 Sorry to say but she aint gonna live like a nun is she??? Why should she? I understand its come as a shock but surely you didnt expect her to not........ever? Be happy you have someone and consentrate on her. You ex is an ex and she can do as she likes. sorry if thats harsh Nobbyx
Tamia78 Posted April 5, 2010 Posted April 5, 2010 I'm really struggling with something now guys. My wife and I have been separated for nine months. I just found out this morning that she is now sleeping with someone else, and it is killing me!!! I'm with someone else too, so in a way I'm a hypocrite, but she was the one that left and I found this person months later. It hurts me more because she's choosing to have sex with this guy over me, whereas I would've preferred to stay with her. It's like I'm settling for second best while she's throwing it in my face. I can't cope...i really need help with this. I can just picture her doing it and it makes me sick. All of the things we used to say to each other during our 7 years don't seem to matter, so long as this new guy bones her. I just want to cry. Kinda makes you sick to your stomach to think of them with anyone else, doesn't it? I'm sorry to hear that, and I know how you feel. I can't imagine my guy sleeping with anyone else (although he is most likely), even after he told me I was the "best" he'd been with. Who knows who he's now telling that to. I'm choosing to not have sex for awhile at this time. So, I feel like you do since I know he has certain needs that he feels need to be met, and I'm pretty sure he met those needs the day after he broke up with me. My advice? I know it's hard, but try not to dwell on it too much, and try as much as you can to focus on yourself and your partner for now. You at least owe her (your partner) that much. --T
idleheart Posted May 7, 2010 Posted May 7, 2010 Your partner really should know that you feel she is only second best. Its not fair to her that you are treating her this way. Its acceptable that you feel how you feel but remember that you need not be selfish about it either. If you feel you are "settling" then maybe you shouldn't be with someone else. But you need to be completely honest with the other person in your life and not post it all online.
Ilovecake Posted May 7, 2010 Posted May 7, 2010 It's a little weird that you know about your ex's sex life? I would say stop seeking hurtful information like that out. In this situation the less you know the better. Like someone said above if you're still obsessing this much about your ex that is not fair to the person who you're currently in a relationship with.
GrayClouds Posted May 7, 2010 Posted May 7, 2010 It's like I'm settling for second best while she's throwing it in my face. It does hurt, probably as much as your current squeeze would feel if she knew you where "setting for second best" I can't cope... One reason maybe you tried to take a short cut. Got involved with someone new as a distraction rather then doing the harder work of really healing. It would not keep the lost of your EX any less painful for you but would have helped you from still trying to hold on. See this as a wake up call to work on really healing and less on distraction.
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