newenglandmama Posted April 5, 2010 Posted April 5, 2010 Lately I am at a loss at family get togethers..so many issues happening at once and I always come away from them not looking forward to the next one. For starters my nephews: age 14 and 13, the 13 yo is always trying to get my 3yo in trouble--tattling, playfighting with him and then as soon as my kid reciprocates he makes a big fuss about it 'don't hit', actually gets mad that my kid doesn't want to share his toys with him sometimes, and they both are always riling up my kid and teaching him innappropriate behaviors and language. I used to be close to them but their behavior toward my kid makes it very difficult to be around them--I have tried to explain to them in many ways how to deal with him, not to teach him bad things, etc and they don't listen. It makes literally every get together stressful for all and they always wind up calling my kid a 'brat' in the end. Relations with an aunt are weird at best. I feel that she favors my brother's family and don't know why. There are always subtle ways of excluding me and my family at every event. We are always nice and try to 'bridge the gap' and such but to no avail. If anything, she has offended us on multiple occasions and we have overlooked them-- we have never done anything to her or her family. She always goes overboard on my teen nephews and gets my child books. Xmas she got them the Wii system and my kid got an outfit and books-- granted we appreciate the books and they are always wonderful but it's the vast difference in the gifts that puzzles me. Nephews have never gotten books from her--always toys, winter coats, etc. One of my cousins until this yr got gifts for nephews and nothing for my kid. I just don't understand! Is it some passive aggressive way of excluding us and if so WHY? I could take it as a compliment, since maybe she knows we will read them to him as opposed to the nephews' parents but I just don't know. I worry that my son will notice and become upset-- then what will we do? My nephews are spoiled, ungrateful brats that only kiss up to her for what they get out of it-- they did the same to my mother and now she can't afford to buy them stuff anymore so they don't bother with her. They did the same with me! She is in my town often to visit her kid and spouse, she knows where we live, we have invited repeatedly to stop by or we will meet them somewhere or whatever and they never do. My mother sits on her fat ass smoking the entire time while asking everyone else to do stuff-- yet she insists on having events at her house! If she notices that I am enjoying myself she will quickly try to embarass me or do something to stop that. She tries to act like she cares whether my father is sitting and resting at all but as soon as he does she whines and asks him to go get something for her or whatever. It drives me nuts! If the aunt and family aren't there, my brother and SIL are constantly at each other's throats calling each other names and everything. Brother playfights with nephews in house even though we have all asked them to take it outside. He barks orders and insults at his kids and wife. There is a lot of tension when the aunt &co arent there. Funny how they can be on their best behavior when the aunt is around but can't control it when everyone else is there! Then, inevitably, brother will argue with my mother and it turns out to be a whole stressful situation. I am puzzled at how to deal with all these issues at every event, sick of having to deal with it all, and saddened that my kid has them as 'examples' in his life. Any clues/insights are certainly welcome. I am at the point now where I want to start spending more time with the inlaws and their extended family because there is less drama.
DaisyLeigh Posted April 5, 2010 Posted April 5, 2010 Don't go. I am serious. I mean, if these cretins were not related to you, would you spend so much time with them? I bet not. Life is too short. Do what you want.
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