lola.lilac Posted April 5, 2010 Posted April 5, 2010 (edited) Hi, everyone! This is my very first post here, but I've been "lurking" for personal research.. I have a few questions about first dates and first impressions. Recently met a man who seems INCREDIBLE (according to our first conversation..shockingly enough at a club- I never go for these types of men, but I shouldn't be so quick to allot them as a "type"). Our first conversation blew my mind. He is older, I would estimate 27..I'm 20. A few months ago I began dating older- 31 being the oldest. It's hard to explain, but for some back-up info, I just feel more comfortable, more alive, and more myself (how I truly see my inner core) around older guys. Younger ones (not ALL) generally make me feel like I'm babysitting, or waiting for someone more mature to rescue me. So I am very excited to get to know him, and for him to get to know me. Obviously a person has to be his or herself, but I'm curious about what kind of things leave good or bad impressions on a first date. What instances stand out in your mind as very impressive, or not impressive, on a first date? Especially in the kind of situation where there was an age difference. Also, what kind of behavior can I look for so I know he is enjoying the date? In general, I think older guys are better at "playing the game"..hiding their emotions, hard-to-get, waiting to call, etc...I don't want to seem like an overeager puppy. What can I do, without seeming like said puppy, to show him I'm having a good time (that is- if I do have a good time!!!!!)? Yes, I am really excited and really care about this date. I can already feel that he's different than the other guys, but I'm trying to not get my hopes up. Anyway, thank you so much for your time and patience! <3 Cheers! Edited April 5, 2010 by lola.lilac
Mattock5656 Posted April 5, 2010 Posted April 5, 2010 Hi, everyone! This is my very first post here, but I've been "lurking" for personal research.. I have a few questions about first dates and first impressions. Recently met a man who seems INCREDIBLE (according to our first conversation..shockingly enough at a club- I never go for these types of men, but I shouldn't be so quick to allot them as a "type"). Our first conversation blew my mind. He is older, I would estimate 27..I'm 20. A few months ago I began dating older- 31 being the oldest. It's hard to explain, but for some back-up info, I just feel more comfortable, more alive, and more myself (how I truly see my inner core) around older guys. Younger ones (not ALL) generally make me feel like I'm babysitting, or waiting for someone more mature to rescue me. So I am very excited to get to know him, and for him to get to know me. Obviously a person has to be his or herself, but I'm curious about what kind of things leave good or bad impressions on a first date. What instances stand out in your mind as very impressive, or not impressive, on a first date? Especially in the kind of situation where there was an age difference. Also, what kind of behavior can I look for so I know he is enjoying the date? In general, I think older guys are better at "playing the game"..hiding their emotions, hard-to-get, waiting to call, etc...I don't want to seem like an overeager puppy. What can I do, without seeming like said puppy, to show him I'm having a good time (that is- if I do have a good time!!!!!)? Yes, I am really excited and really care about this date. I can already feel that he's different than the other guys, but I'm trying to not get my hopes up. Anyway, thank you so much for your time and patience! <3 Cheers! Awesome, its always interesting to find a person that rocks your socks off, at the club for that matter... Although, from your post you seem really excited, which is good. But always have low expectations despite what happened. I know from experience, I get really excited about somebody for what they did then later them flaking or whatever. Not saying this will happen in your circumstance but you never know. To me what is impressive, is the amount of intelligence the person has and also the personality that comes with. True, you have to have some level of attraction but that's what ticks for me. Every guy is different. I wouldn't worry too much about your clothing. As long as it looks clean, nice presentable...it seems you doing everything in your power to do everything correctly etc..it is good but don't let it consume your mind, as you would probably make more mistakes per say in trying to impress him. Or better yet, it look like your trying too hard. Things that I noticed that were bad on first dates from my experience are when she talks to much about herself. Or she doesn't ask much questions. Clearly, if this is the case, he's either really self-absorbed or not interested. Although, you don't want to ask too many questions as then it will be some kind of interrogation lol. Also, make sure to have eye-contact, don't have your eyes rolling all of the place. If you do this, he might think your not interested. (Usually this is the sign.) You mentioned you go for older guys, as their more mature. It could be the case, but don't dismiss all younger guys or guys around your age. Just yesterday, I was talking to a older lady that comes up to my deli a lot and she was telling she was married for 20 something years to her husband. She mentioned this is her second husband and he is 10 years younger than her. Her first husband was 3 years older than her and of course that ended in divorce. Point in case, age doesn't always matter. We like to think that the older the more mature, which can be the case but their are always expectations. All in all, relax don't try all your power to impress him or what not. If its meant to be, it shall be natural and have low expectations. Also, I know its difficult but act like he is a old friend that you've known for ages. It might relieve some pressure in your event.
Mattock5656 Posted April 5, 2010 Posted April 5, 2010 (edited) "Also, what kind of behavior can I look for so I know he is enjoying the date?" Mainly the things above...really big things are eye contact, asking you questions about yourself. If he mentions somewhere down the line, for a second date or what not is good. The way he greets you, from meeting you in the parking lot to leaving. When the date is over, if tries to give you a hug(if he does this, you can tell when its a genuine hug(showing interested) or just a pat on the back (not so interested) or kiss for sure, then you know he has some level of interest. It could go on and on...Good luck!!! Edited April 5, 2010 by Mattock5656
Author lola.lilac Posted April 6, 2010 Author Posted April 6, 2010 Thanks, you two! Great advice. Especially..... "..act like he is a old friend that you've known for ages. It might relieve some pressure in your event."
Engadget Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 "Also, what kind of behavior can I look for so I know he is enjoying the date?" Mainly the things above...really big things are eye contact, asking you questions about yourself. If he mentions somewhere down the line, for a second date or what not is good. The way he greets you, from meeting you in the parking lot to leaving. When the date is over, if tries to give you a hug(if he does this, you can tell when its a genuine hug(showing interested) or just a pat on the back (not so interested) or kiss for sure, then you know he has some level of interest. It could go on and on...Good luck!!! All true, except asking questions about her. Every guy knows that's just what women want to hear, so the guy just looking to get in her pants will do the same thing. For me knowing when someone's interested is just a "feeling". Obviously if he's looking at his watch, phone, or around the room he's bored.
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