aerogurl87 Posted April 5, 2010 Posted April 5, 2010 Ok so my guy and I usually text each other all day, almost everyday. But today I dunno, it seems like he's being sort of distant. Here's some background info of what happened this weekend. Basically Friday night we got into an argument because he felt like I was brushing him aside. I had to go to work at 11:30 in the morning Saturday and it was like 3am when he finally got home (he's 2 hours behind me). Anyway, so I told him I was tired, but I'd try to call him before bed. So I called and he was mumbling so I couldn't hear what he was saying, so I hung up. Apparently he was half way through a sentence when I did this (but hey I can't decipher mumbling) and so he said he was hurt I hung up on him again when he was talking to me (yes I've done this before unfortunately). So we ended up texting each other till about 4am, that morning and then around 4 I told him I was going to bed because it didn't seem like we were getting anywhere. So Saturday morning, I texted him good morning and he texted me back like 2 hours later. He asked if I was still mad at him and I said no, I asked him the same thing and he said no as well. So everything was good... or at least I thought. I got to work and texted him on my break, telling him that I'd call him when I got off work and he texted me back saying "yeah sure you will". I asked him if everything was alright and he said he'd been having a ****ty week and apologised for being mean, but told me to call him when I got off work. So I got off work and called him when I got home, then he texted me and told me to stop calling him. I was a little shocked because he'd never really done anything like that. He told me the minutes on his phone weren't free yet (I called him alot last month when his phone wasn't free and he ended up with a $500 phone bill) and that's why he told me to stop calling and he was busy washing his car. So when his phone was free I called back and we talked a little last night, but since I had a cold it didn't last long. Ok so this morning I texted him good morning again and this time he texted me back right afterwards. I knew he had church so I didn't text him much through the day, but then when I knew he was out I texted him some more. So for the past 3 hours or so, he's taken about 30 minutes to reply to each of my texts. Finally I got fed up with it and just asked him if he was mad at me. He said he wasn't and asked me if something was wrong. I told him it felt like he was being distant and he said that he was just busy driving all day and that's why he hadn't texted me back as regularly. But I still feel like he's being distant. Maybe I'm just overreacting, I dunno. What do ya'll think?
dazzle22 Posted April 5, 2010 Posted April 5, 2010 I think you need to take this relationship more 'into the real world'. The constant texting instead of talking is watering it down and really making it mediocre. Set some boundaries around when you text and talk and meet and it will feel more special, as opposed to just spewing confused and cranky emotions back and forth all day and night by texting.
Author aerogurl87 Posted April 5, 2010 Author Posted April 5, 2010 Well we talk alot, I forgot to mention that. Usually we talk about 3 hours or so during the day and about 1 or two hours at night. But since I was sick and my throat was killing me I didn't feel like talking on the phone yesterday night. Also we are both happy (well we were, not sure if he feels the same way now) with just texting each other when we feel like it. And texting is free for both of us to do since talking costs alot more (69 cents for me a minute, not sure how much it'd be for him) because he lives in Canada and I live in the States, so it's more economical. We have skype, but it only let's us talk for a max of 6 hours a day on the phone. I'm hoping we can talk more about everything next month though since I'll be going to spend 2 weeks with him.
Author aerogurl87 Posted April 5, 2010 Author Posted April 5, 2010 Thanks LisaLee, well I know he's out with his friends and so he's busy hanging out with them which doesn't bother me. But he was acting really distant earlier. He just texted me about 20 minutes ago and asked me if something was wrong and I told him how I felt. He then texted me back and said he was sorry for making me feel like he was being distant. So I told him not to text me till he gets home (because I hate having to wait 30 or so minutes for a reply) and is less busy. But he keeps texting me every 30 minutes or so, ugh! I'm going to bed.
carvidep Posted April 5, 2010 Posted April 5, 2010 I think he likes you a lot and that you have nothing to worry about. I've gone through the "his communication/the amount/frequency of his contacting me has changed and it makes me think he's being distant and angry/likes me less/etc etc". But when I talked to him about it he said he'd been busy with friends/work/family, what ever it was at the time. It was all genuine and true what he said, but when I had already built up that insecurity it was a bit hard to feel consoled by what he said. After spending some time with him in his city and actually seeing what it's like for him during these busy times, I don't worry any more. at all. it's awesome haha. Your relationship is fairly new right? I think that's something that all LDR couples go through in the beginning. Communication patterns may change with time and with life changes, whether they be major or minor. I really don't think you have anything to worry about. Especially if he's still texting you every half hour even though you told him to wait until he got home. You may find it annoying because he's not following your guidelines, but I think it's cute and that he's putting in an extra effort to let you know he really cares.
Author aerogurl87 Posted April 5, 2010 Author Posted April 5, 2010 I think he likes you a lot and that you have nothing to worry about. I've gone through the "his communication/the amount/frequency of his contacting me has changed and it makes me think he's being distant and angry/likes me less/etc etc". But when I talked to him about it he said he'd been busy with friends/work/family, what ever it was at the time. It was all genuine and true what he said, but when I had already built up that insecurity it was a bit hard to feel consoled by what he said. After spending some time with him in his city and actually seeing what it's like for him during these busy times, I don't worry any more. at all. it's awesome haha. Your relationship is fairly new right? I think that's something that all LDR couples go through in the beginning. Communication patterns may change with time and with life changes, whether they be major or minor. I really don't think you have anything to worry about. Especially if he's still texting you every half hour even though you told him to wait until he got home. You may find it annoying because he's not following your guidelines, but I think it's cute and that he's putting in an extra effort to let you know he really cares. Thanks carvidep, yeah we talked about it some more this morning after I had calmed down a bit and he said he wanted to talk to me last night but he was hanging out with his friends and they were drinking so he wasn't texting me much but he wanted to at least check up on me. I think part of my insecurities have to deal with the fact that I'm not there and my brain unfortunately keeps making up all these horrible scenarios of things going wrong. I think I'll be better when I go to see him next month for 2 weeks.
ukguy1985 Posted April 5, 2010 Posted April 5, 2010 Thanks carvidep, yeah we talked about it some more this morning after I had calmed down a bit and he said he wanted to talk to me last night but he was hanging out with his friends and they were drinking so he wasn't texting me much but he wanted to at least check up on me. I think part of my insecurities have to deal with the fact that I'm not there and my brain unfortunately keeps making up all these horrible scenarios of things going wrong. I think I'll be better when I go to see him next month for 2 weeks. i am sure he feels the same way as you do. enjoy your 2 weeks with him
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