Katherineos123 Posted April 4, 2010 Posted April 4, 2010 The three day rule, popularized by the asshat characters of the 90s cult classic "Swingers", states that a man is to call a woman no earlier than three days after the first date, as to not appear desperate or needy, and to drive her WILD with desire! When in reality, it just pisses her off. Is there any validity to this? Assuming that the date went well, when do you call a girl after a first date?
Kamille Posted April 4, 2010 Posted April 4, 2010 When in reality, it just pisses her off. ... And thrills her when he finally calls! I mean, if you're into a guy enough to get angry if he waits a mere three days to call... that means: 1) you're really into him 2) he just made you notice just how into him you are.
Fouts Posted April 4, 2010 Posted April 4, 2010 I don't know, when I had good first dates we always made plans for the next get together or when we could at least touch base with each other in between lingering good night kisses. Dating guidelines are for the hopelessly inept.
123BeachFan Posted April 4, 2010 Posted April 4, 2010 Rules or no, I prefer a quick follow up to a date from a guy (text or email is fine), the next day or two to say they had a great time, and they'd like to call me later in the week and set up another date. Something to that effect. To which I reply a similar kudos to the date and that I look forward to hearing back. That way, no one in stewing in misery trying to decide what the other person must be thinking. I've actually stopped seeing guys because they took way too long to get back to me after a first date. That just feels like I'm too far down on their priority list, and it's not impressive.
ADF Posted April 5, 2010 Posted April 5, 2010 Pffft. Call her the next day. Don't play games with people. They aren't toys.
alphamale Posted April 5, 2010 Posted April 5, 2010 Assuming that the date went well, when do you call a girl after a first date? 2 to 3 days later
jthorne Posted April 5, 2010 Posted April 5, 2010 Pffft. Call her the next day. Don't play games with people. They aren't toys.I agree. If I get the slightest notion someone is playing games, they're gone. If someone's not into me enough to follow up in the next day or so, I assume they're not interested and move on.
sullysteve Posted April 5, 2010 Posted April 5, 2010 2-7 days. If she really liked me, it wouldn't matter if I waited a few days to call. Dating is a game. Ideally, everyone wouldn't treat it as such, but many people do. And if you refuse to play, it's really hard to win. That's reality.
123BeachFan Posted April 5, 2010 Posted April 5, 2010 2-7 days. If she really liked me, it wouldn't matter if I waited a few days to call. Dating is a game. Ideally, everyone wouldn't treat it as such, but many people do. And if you refuse to play, it's really hard to win. That's reality. Ouch. Dating doesn't have to be a game. Granted, there are PLAYERS, but I think the goal of many people is to weed out the players and date from the prospects who are willing to be genuine. If dating is a game, and you agree to play, how can you tell if you win?
Pyro Posted April 5, 2010 Posted April 5, 2010 Games are for immature kids. If you are interested in someone then prove it. The next day is good and it doesn't come off as desperate.
USMCHokie Posted April 5, 2010 Posted April 5, 2010 Games are for immature kids. +1,000,000. I feel like I have enough going for me that I don't need to play games to keep a woman interested. If she isn't interested or needs to play games, then I'll say good day and move along. I usually call based on when the next date is...I'm not a big phone talker, so early on, I won't call unless it's to schedule the next date...no calls to say hi, how are you, how was your day...blah blah blah...I prefer in-person conversation...
Crazy Magnet Posted April 5, 2010 Posted April 5, 2010 If I totally hit it off with a guy, I expect some type of follow up in the next day, 2 days at the latest. I've never had a shortage of men wanting to take me out so I'm a "you snooze and you lose" kind of girl. Sometimes I will give lee way and accept a second date if the guys calls within 3 days of the first one, but if he does it again after the second date I next him. I don't play this "rules and guidelines" game and I don't date people who do. There are plenty who don't.
carhill Posted April 5, 2010 Posted April 5, 2010 This gentleman has never heard of a three day rule. I call when I want. If no joy, next
Hot Carl Posted April 5, 2010 Posted April 5, 2010 If I wait too long, I lose my nerve. Calling right at 3 days is pretty obvious. If I'm feeling confident, I'll call her whenever I feel like it. Next day, even. If you have it together, and in fact aren't clingy or needy, then she won't respond like you are. Or if she does, because deep down she expects guys to follow the "3-day rule", then I'll back off and make her contact me.
bac Posted April 5, 2010 Posted April 5, 2010 If you are dating IRL, you may call anytime between next day to 1-2-3 wks. IRL it depends on the situation. If you are dating/shopping online, you may want to call anytime between next day to 3 day. Dating online is like shopping in a mall, if you do not buy what you want right now, it will be gone in 2-3 days.
Storyrider Posted April 5, 2010 Posted April 5, 2010 Four months at a minimum. But only if you really like her.
JustJoe Posted April 5, 2010 Posted April 5, 2010 I've heard about the 3 day thing, but don't agree with it. If we strike sparks on the first date, I will call the next day and see if the feeling is mutual. If it is, then anything goes.
Scottdmw Posted April 5, 2010 Posted April 5, 2010 If I totally hit it off with a guy, I expect some type of follow up in the next day, 2 days at the latest. I've never had a shortage of men wanting to take me out so I'm a "you snooze and you lose" kind of girl. Sometimes I will give lee way and accept a second date if the guys calls within 3 days of the first one, but if he does it again after the second date I next him. I don't play this "rules and guidelines" game and I don't date people who do. There are plenty who don't. So wait, it's absolutely bad for a guy to decide to wait three days. He's a game player. There's no chance that maybe he's heard of these rules and isn't sure whether they're true, and doesn't want to mess things up either way. Maybe he agonizes over the decision himself, knowing that often women will not tell him what they really want him to do. He's clearly a bad person if he decides to wait three days. However, it's perfectly okay for you to dump him if he doesn't call in less than three days. You don't see that as playing games at all. Whatever. Scott
homersheineken Posted April 5, 2010 Posted April 5, 2010 The three day rule, popularized by the asshat characters of the 90s cult classic "Swingers", states that a man is to call a woman no earlier than three days after the first date, as to not appear desperate or needy, and to drive her WILD with desire! When in reality, it just pisses her off. Is there any validity to this? Assuming that the date went well, when do you call a girl after a first date? First I take offense that you insult them They actually have a lot of good advice of what not to do. Second, it's not you wait 3 days after the first date to call. It's 3 days after you first MEET them (and get their number) - big big difference.
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