doomage Posted April 4, 2010 Posted April 4, 2010 Well a couple of weeks ago i wrote about a girl that i was dating that told me a week into us dating that she had genital herpes. Well i stuck with it and at first when we started dating i didnt like her that much but my feelings grew and now i do. Well i accepted her as she was and thought everything was going great. She was sick for like a week and a half cuz she had tonsilitis so all we were able to do was talk on the phone. every day. I guess i telegraphed too much needyness and wanting to see her during that time span since she was sick and maybe her feelings were already dying. Well on thursday she invited me over to her house to meet her parents and i did, then we went to go eat dinner just me and her, and she started throwing little comments around about not liking being affectionette which was weird because for the first two weeks we were holding hands kissing, and all that lovey dovey stuff, so it stuck me as wierd for her to say these things. And after we ate we went to go rent a movie and when we were walking towards the store i was trying to put my arm around her waist and it seemed like she was trying not to let me hold her, like kind of walking away. So after that we went to her house watched the movie and had sex. then i was trying to still be affectionette after we had sex but it seemed like she wasnt into me like if something switched. i wanted a round two but she was like no so i had to skidaddle. Then the next day we talked which was friday i called her and i asked her if she wanted to get together that night. and she said she was gonna stay home and do hw, so then i go out with my cousins that were visiting from california and we have fun the next day she calls me but im at work,so i cant answer the phone, but i call her after i go on lunch and basically ask her what she did on friday and she said she went to the club, and in my mind i was like "hmm i thought she was gonna stay in and do hw"which she gave me as an excuse. Then i ask her what shes doing that day (saturday), and she said shes gonna go to church and might go to a club, so i go to a club with my family and stuff to celebrate my cousins birthday and have fun, then today (sunday) i call her to see how her night went and she said she didn't even end up going to church but went to the club. and since i went to her house the conversations were dull and i felt i was trying the hardest, it was awkward now. and so i said "whats up, i feel a wierd vibe from you now, did something change or what?" and she said "well idk i just don't want nothing serious right now." and she basically said at first she did but i guess i drove her interest downhill by always asking her to hang out, and that we can still be friends, but no more sex handholding and all that crap. so i said alright ill talk to you later i guess. and that was that. Then just now she called me to say that what she said she didnt mean it in a bad way, and that she just doesn't know what she wants. And she said she doesnt just have casual sex, which is bull**** because before me she said all the guys she been with have never wanted a serious relationship and she always did but they would have sex. and now that im that guy that she should be able to have a relationship with she doesn't want me and doesnt want to have sex. She didnt want to burn bridges and said basically we shoudl take things slow and not so intense like before. and when i said "so we should take things slow then?" she said "well when people say take it slow they usually mean that eventually thell be together, but i dont knwo if tahts what i want right now." and we left it on that note. So what the hell happened here people? She said he interest just flipped or that at one point she wanted a relationship but now that the opportunity is there she doesnt want one. Women are confusing as hell........
LoveLace Posted April 5, 2010 Posted April 5, 2010 I don't think she's totally sure about her interest in you...but she is leaning toward the less, I'm sorry to say..I would consider it over with, maybe just be friends if that is possible. If you start giving her less attention it's possible that this will make her start bouncing back..but careful not to mistaken that for wanting the relationship with you..she probably likes your attention but doesn't want the whole package deal. So if a relationship in general is what you want, she's not on the same page and hopefully soon you meet someone who is.
Author doomage Posted April 5, 2010 Author Posted April 5, 2010 Well were both 21 which is probably too young for a relationship but i'm open to it only because i never had a serious relationship and would like to see what it's like, but i'm not desperate for one and also when she called me today to clear things up we were talking about the freinds thing and i said "well i don't wanna be all buddy buddy friends with you, because when you like somone you can't just be friends, so let's get that clear right now" and she said "ya i know" so i dont know i wonder if i can still kiss her, she doesnt want sex anymore we only had it once, i feel like all the badboys she's been with have gotten everything from her without trying and she's restricting stuff with me and i've been nothin but good with her. But i'm not going to be on her that thick anymore ill let her invite me out sometimes if she wants.
dazzle22 Posted April 5, 2010 Posted April 5, 2010 Actually both sexes play this game when they are trying to 'do the big fade' as I call it. She's trying to push you into the friend zone. Women who go only for guys who don't treat them right or don't want a relationship actually have intimacy issues themselves, even though they make noises that it is just the opposite....
boogieboy Posted April 5, 2010 Posted April 5, 2010 I dont know what you did to turn her off, but when she was sick you probably were too clingy. Or worse yet, you did something to turn her off before that, and she used being sick as an excuse to not have to see you. Either way, stop tralking to her. She's been going to the clubs shopping for someone new, and has been lying to you about taking things slow and what not. YOu see shes full of it. Let her go and you get someone new.
Author doomage Posted April 5, 2010 Author Posted April 5, 2010 Ya ain't that just dandy? Thru all the a holes she's been with and had sex with time and time again, that she was trying to chase down to have a relationship and that they obviously didnt want with her, finally i come along treat her good, and with respect, and after only one time of having sex, i get canned. Now she says at the time she wanted a relationship but now doesn't want one. weird...... so what should i do in this case?
ADF Posted April 5, 2010 Posted April 5, 2010 What's happened here is that this woman has lost interest for whatever reason, but doesn't have the guts to tell you. Sadly, you'll be running into people like her all your life. Many people are all about making things as easy as possible on themselves, and they don't really care how their behavior makes others feel. She's trying to just sort of pull away and disappear because that is easier for her than having to have a difficult conversation with you.
carhill Posted April 5, 2010 Posted April 5, 2010 Little invested time and emotion. Got your noodle wet once. Not bad. Keep up the good work. Next. Remember the little invested time and emotion part. Watch carefully. A woman's actions never lie.
Author doomage Posted April 5, 2010 Author Posted April 5, 2010 but i think what turned her off was me being readily available all the time, always asking her out even if she said she couldnt that day i tried to set up another date. And maybe i didn't put my foot down with certain things, sometimes while were talking on the phone she'll say something like "ya you f'ing idiot, lol jk.." and i just let it fly instead i shoulda said i don't like that, even if your playing. She even said once that she feels comfortable enough to be her self around me well then wtf. But i have a feeling she's trying to play me for a fool. Reason why is , that we only had sex once and now she doesn't want to, and also the obvious loss of interest, because if a girl is interested in you alot she'll wanna probably get with you, so she might be bangin somone else while keeping me in the dark. But then she called because she didn't wanna lead me on. but stillw ant's to see me as friends but not friends? idk lol
dazzle22 Posted April 5, 2010 Posted April 5, 2010 Yes, sounds like you looked too eager. Tricky tightrope at beginning of relationships, looking interested but not TOO interested. There's a subtle distinction.
paleblue Posted April 5, 2010 Posted April 5, 2010 you will never know exactly what her problem is. my suggestion, just forget about her and find someone else who you don't have to guess everything with. that is your best bet if you are looking for a relationship. been around long enough to know actions speak louder than words. and if someone is interested in you they WILL want to get with you. if they are not interested than they do not get with you. ignore her and move on. all her rhetoric is just her wasting your time. blah blah blah. shes good at that i bet. blah blah blah. never gets you anywhere tho i bet. she is using you as an emotional tampon. besides who wants somone talking ot them like that anyway?
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