thegoodlife Posted April 4, 2010 Posted April 4, 2010 My ex and I broke up about 2 months ago. It was a very fast paced, short term relationship that ended as quickly as it began. Up until now I have handled the break up extremely well and know it's definitely for the best that we aren't together. I even went and visited him at his work about a month ago and told him that I hold no hard feelings towards him and I'm okay with having a friendship with him. He was quite surprised as he did treat me really badly towards the end, but I told him he's just not worth being hung up on lol. That was the first and only time we have talked since the break up. I meant what I said and I wasn't using it as a way to go see and talk to him again. I have no desire to be with him again, we did not make a good couple, and he did some terrible things. But for some reason, I have been missing him like CRAZY the past couple of days. We still go to the same gym and see each other there multiple times a week. We generally pretend not to see each other and go about our workouts in separate areas. A few days ago when I saw him there, he was just leaving as I was coming in and he was wearing a shirt I bought him, shoes I bought him, and the Blue Jays hat I bought him. It made me smile and I think that's what triggered it. Memories of the good times. I am basically just posting to try and get these feelings off of my chest. Maybe since I didn't feel sad or miss him initially after the break up, the residual feelings are coming back around now? I'm not sure, but I don't like it and I really hope they go away soon.
LK30 Posted April 4, 2010 Posted April 4, 2010 Interesting situation, and I am going to have a good guess that he is perhaps purposefully wearing things you bought him for two reasons: 1) To upset you and make you feel bad that you are no longer together 2) To manipulate you a little into triggering thoughts in your mind and hope you'll get back together. I'd go for option 2, and it sounds like it's working. People on here talk about 'no contact,' and perhaps it's advisable to join a different gym as the situation may not get any better if you keep bumping into him - just in case he takes it to another level and starts chatting to women in the gym to get another reaction. Hope this makes sense! Good luck.
Author thegoodlife Posted April 4, 2010 Author Posted April 4, 2010 He already has a new girlfriend (that's actually why we broke up, found out he was cheating with her) so I don't think he wants to get back together. In a few weeks I will be done college so hopefully this will allow me to go to the gym at different times. I do hope by then I'm over these silly feelings though!! Thank you for your reply
Fouts Posted April 4, 2010 Posted April 4, 2010 Most relationships sour after the first couple of months, yours was no different. It's good that you can hang onto some fond memories after being treated poorly and yes the clothing helped bring them out. You wouldn't be normal if you missed having closeness with someone, I'm sure there's someone out there dying to meet you, just find him
OOReeee Posted April 4, 2010 Posted April 4, 2010 haha you are the female version of me. That randomly happens to me too, I see her from time to time, usually we ignore eachother but sometimes it is inevitable for us to exchange hellos. I miss being with her, I don't miss her. I think that your situation is similar. Sometimes there are random triggers that would make us miss our exs and its okay. I think that it'll fade away eventually and just become a good learning experience. The fact that you are graduating (like me haha) and perhaps leaving your college town soon is also good. You will miss him from here to there, until you stop.
LK30 Posted April 4, 2010 Posted April 4, 2010 You're welcome. I'm in England and suffering with the same feeling as you, so it looks like it's the same the world over! I did hear a good quote the other day. It's short and makes sense! "you can't have a rainbow without a spell of rain" A good message for all of us!
Author thegoodlife Posted April 4, 2010 Author Posted April 4, 2010 Thanks Fouts that's what I needed to hear!!
Author thegoodlife Posted April 4, 2010 Author Posted April 4, 2010 Thanks OOReeee- Let's hope graduation will bring about good changes in our lives!
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