smartblonde Posted April 4, 2010 Posted April 4, 2010 My ex-husband had an affair and left me to be with her. They are now living together. Its been just under a year since he left. Everybody knew of the affair....our kids, friends, neighbours, family. Yet, my ex flaunts this woman to everyone. His facebook page always has pictures of the two of them together, (and sometimes with my kids..sheesh) and they socialize with all our mutual friends and neighbours. I find it hard to understand why friends and neighbours would choose to continue socializing with him considering what he did. Am I naive to want my friends and neighbours to take the moral highroad and shun them? Am I wrong to be upset that they would willingly continue in a friendship with a couple who they know are together as the result of an affair that hurt many people and broke up a family? Or is society just becoming more accepting of this behaviour?
just1guy Posted April 4, 2010 Posted April 4, 2010 (edited) I think it's one of those situations where they don't feel like they have a right to get involved with his personal matters and will just sit back and let him make the mistakes, so they'll still hang out with him, even with what he's doing resides in the back of their minds. It's like when I broke up, talked to some really good friends, and all of them told me "We knew she wsn't right for you. Something about her was off. " OR "She did this before in the past, but I didn't want to interfere and bring it up with you." Something similar happend with me, but at the end of the day, my ex will do what she thinks will make her happy and she won't care what anyone says about it. So in my opinion, society has become accepting of this. Friends won't leave friends because of their personal lives or mistakes (unless it's we are talking about drugs or a crime), but will only leave if it affects the friendship. Edited April 4, 2010 by just1guy
Woggle Posted April 5, 2010 Posted April 5, 2010 Society is screwed and I have come to terms with that. Just accept it because it will not change.
ADF Posted April 5, 2010 Posted April 5, 2010 The truth is the exact opposite of what you're suggesting. Society was far MORE accepting of behavior like your husband's in the past than it is today. Far more. Nobody believes that, but it's true. There is this big lie in the culture that in the past, people had better morals than they do today. Anyone with a knowledge of history knows that's nonsense. For example, male infidelity was taken as a given until after WWII. The expectation that men should be faithful to their wives developed during the hearth-and-home era of the 1950s. Prior to that, only women were expected to remain faithful. Men weren't. In the early 20th century, every major city in America had brothels that operated openly and catered to men from every walk of life. Rich or poor, men were simply expected to visit prostitutes. It was a given. Today, it is considered shameful.
Toki Posted April 5, 2010 Posted April 5, 2010 I disagree. Until we see gladiators skewing each other to death with swords, and bestiality as acceptable practices we're still a few steps behind the Romans. We're just getting out of a stage in history where we've been more repressed than ever before. Not that I wholeheartedly agree that either should become acceptable practices, but I can imagine that sometime in the future we may very well be back to the same levels of Roman excess.
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