youaretheone Posted April 4, 2010 Posted April 4, 2010 (edited) Most men should have realized that there is an inner voice in your head always trying to stop you from approaching a woman. It always gives you "What if she rejects you?", "She might not be interested, why bother?", "She should be busy. She does not have time to talk to you." and other discouraging speeches. I should admit that it prevented me many times from approaching a woman I like. I also realized that, it appears only when I do not act immediately when I want to approach a woman. When I start talking to her without thinking about asking her out or the consequences, my conversation flows easily. For example, when I talked to this coffee shop girl I like for the first time just to buy a drink and have a little chat, I did it very easily without any interruption of my inner voice. However, today, as I was planning to ask for her number when I visit the coffee shop, because the plan was in my head all day long, I could not do it because my inner voice bugged me all the time about this. I need to put an end to this and I would like to hear your advice and experiences on this topic. Edited April 4, 2010 by youaretheone
Author youaretheone Posted April 4, 2010 Author Posted April 4, 2010 All people here are confident and none of them have this inner voice. That's why no one is replying, isn't it?
norajane Posted April 4, 2010 Posted April 4, 2010 All people here are confident and none of them have this inner voice. That's why no one is replying, isn't it? Yes, that's exactly it!! I think everyone has an inner voice, or inner talk track, but it's doesn't say the same things to people. Some inner voices say things like, "Dude, go for it! She is totally into you and can't wait for you to ask for her number!" It sounds like you need to train your inner voice to be a positive influence, rather than an insecure one. If I'm recalling correctly, psychologists definitely focus on this area and help people change their talk track from "I can't, I shouldn't" to "I can, I will". And that applies in all kinds of situations, whether it's education, career, weight issues, speaking in public, etc. I'll bet if you do a search on "change your inner voice" you'll find some reputable psychology sites with good information on how to get started.
boogieboy Posted April 5, 2010 Posted April 5, 2010 Well if you dont know what to do to approach a woman, then of course doubt will take over if you let it. But if you already dont care about a womans reaction or rejection, nothing stops you from talking to her.
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