just1guy Posted April 4, 2010 Posted April 4, 2010 Earlier today, a co-worker watched me as I was walking away after a conversation with him, and yelled to me "hey ____, that's a walk of a broken man". I asked him what he meant, and he proceeded to imitate my walk, hunched shoulders and head down, which did looked pretty bad. I guess I don't even notice that I'm doing it. I have to put on a fake me everyday because of my work (I am a corporate trainer for employees and some our clients as well), but I am beginning to think that I'm "cracking". Then just a few minutes ago, I had a moment of weakness and saw an updated pic of the ex. It was just her, but she actually looked even more prettier than I remember, which makes me miss her even more. That's all I did, but I feel like sh*t and am so pissed at myself that I'm still angry and cry over her after almost 4 months since she left me all of the sudden for someone else before the holidays. Even with the gym 4 times a week, staying late at work on purpose to avoid going back to an empty house, hanging out with friends, I still don't feel like I've made any improvements. I've become an angry, faithless, resentful guy, and I hate her so much for making me go thru this hell. Sorry, just had to rant because I spent the last few minutes screaming at the top of my lungs, as if I'm performing an exorcise on myself or something and need to write this down instead of being tempted do something stupid.
skydiveaddict Posted April 4, 2010 Posted April 4, 2010 I'm right where you are now. It's been 5 months for me and I still cant get over her. but you will. we both will . hang tough
Tamia78 Posted April 4, 2010 Posted April 4, 2010 No, you're not cracking up. I guess that's just part of the healing process. Sometimes it seems like it's just taking longer than it should. We are completely normal, and eventually our thoughts of our exes will be less and less. Stay strong! We're gonna get through this.........it's gonna take a little longer than we expect, that's all. --T
nobmagnet Posted April 4, 2010 Posted April 4, 2010 (( hugs)) im 7 months on. Still have days where i get angry and want to scream. Still have days thats i cry too. But then i read my journal of how i felt at the time he was caught cheating and before and it reminds me just how much I have moved on.:) Remeber the puking shaking head mess?? we are doing really well:) You are doing great. Shoulders back......deep breath.......head high........there you go:love::love: nobby xxxx
This Hurts Posted April 4, 2010 Posted April 4, 2010 I hate her so much for making me go thru this hell. I know this feeling way too well.
Toki Posted April 4, 2010 Posted April 4, 2010 I know how your situation is like, just remember as Churchill once said "When you're going through hell, keep going."
SlowHealer Posted April 5, 2010 Posted April 5, 2010 Dude, You're not cracking. You just probably grow deep roots and are a caring person and that's a GOOD thing! I am at one year now. At about 8 months I started feeling alot better. I thought I was cracking too. But no way can I let someone who is so unworthy and shallow win. You are doing the right things it sounds like. It's just a time and distance formula. Stay the course. You will have brighter days ahead!
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