Tamia78 Posted April 4, 2010 Posted April 4, 2010 Hey LSers, I'm really struggling here. I've gone NC (40 days now), I don't look at his FB page, I deleted all my pics, email, everything. He sent me one text message that I never answered. I'm going out with friends, doing different things, hanging with more people, doing things I've never done before. I feel like I'm doing all the right things to heal, but still...........every other thought in my head is about him. I want to forget him. I want to be done with feeling like crap at least once a day. I'm tired of waking up wondering who he's waking up next to or what he's doing. I'm tired of wondering when he's gonna contact me. I'm tired of crying when I think of some silly little joke we used to share. When I talk to my best friend (she knows about all this), every other word is his name. I'm afraid I'm boring her to death with my constant analyzations about our failed relationship, but I can't stop myself. What else do I need to do? I have to drag myself out of the house sometimes because I just want to isolate myself inside the house, eat everything in sight and cry my eyes out. This man wasn't good for me, he f***ed up my whole world in a short amount of time. I loved him. But I want to get rid of him. I'm tired of TRYING to heal. I wanna heal. What else is there? Sorry for the rant. I hate this, I really do. --T
Toki Posted April 4, 2010 Posted April 4, 2010 Forty days, good for you! It may not seem like it, but you're well on your way for life giving you the wake up call you need. In the meantime, rant away.
skydiveaddict Posted April 4, 2010 Posted April 4, 2010 keep going! your doing well It WILL get better I swear. You're just healing now, and that takes time. no way around it but you're doing all the right things . You will get through this.
Author Tamia78 Posted April 4, 2010 Author Posted April 4, 2010 Thanks, everyone. It just feels like I should be over this, you know? I'm doing everything I can NOT to think of him, and yet I still do. One good thing is I don't feel as bad as I did the week after we broke up.
Lizzie60 Posted April 4, 2010 Posted April 4, 2010 You go girl.. you're doing everything to move on.. don't keep anything around you that remind you of him... Don't worry about your best friends.. you can ask her if it bothers her.. I doubt it will... she is supportive.. one day it could be her turn to need your support.. Whenever you think about him.. quickly chase those thoughts.. think of the 'bad' things about him.. not the good stuff.. that should also help.. Good luck.. keep the good work.. at least you know he wasn't good for you..and you chose to do something about it.. good for you!!!!
nobmagnet Posted April 4, 2010 Posted April 4, 2010 ((hugs)) Well my dear you are doing amazingly well:love: I found that making a list of all the reasons you would never want them back helped me no end. I was giggling by the end of it. I still have that list and over the time added even more reasons too. "the 2 second sex" ect........... all good stuff!!!!:lmao: Nobby xx
Author Tamia78 Posted April 4, 2010 Author Posted April 4, 2010 ((hugs)) Well my dear you are doing amazingly well:love: I found that making a list of all the reasons you would never want them back helped me no end. I was giggling by the end of it. I still have that list and over the time added even more reasons too. "the 2 second sex" ect........... all good stuff!!!!:lmao: Nobby xx Thanks, Nobby, I'm gonna work on that list right now! That's a great idea! Don't worry about your best friends.. you can ask her if it bothers her.. I doubt it will... she is supportive.. one day it could be her turn to need your support.. Thank you, Lizzie. I'm sure you're right that it doesn't bother her, but to me there's only so much you can take, you know? I think that's another reason why I want to hurry up and heal. She's really going to need my support soon, and I want to be the kind of friend she has been to me for years. And I feel if I'm still hung up on this guy, I can't do that for her. I feel like I need to be stronger and forget my ex the way he seems to be forgetting about me.......but I want to do it the right way, not by jumping into bed with anyone who will tell me what I want to hear, like he does. Thanks everyone, you are all really making me feel better! --T
Lizzie60 Posted April 4, 2010 Posted April 4, 2010 Good... LS is also good support system... I think there is a 'support' thread somewhere about those who are NC...
Fouts Posted April 4, 2010 Posted April 4, 2010 Those fond memories will fade quicker once you meet a man who catches your fancy. Be patient, try to talk more with men that you find interesting and see what happens from there. Once you meet someone nice, you won't keep dwelling on the past.
nobmagnet Posted April 4, 2010 Posted April 4, 2010 fouts, some would diagree with you but i have to agree :D Not that i am looking for a chap at tho mo but its fun flirting and getting attention. Big ego boost to realise you areattractive to somebody else. Only i seem to attract 22yr old boys and i refuse to kiss something i could have given birth to :laugh::laugh: Nobby xx
Female Tech Posted April 4, 2010 Posted April 4, 2010 Stay Strong! 6 months is a great start and you can probably think of how much you have grown in your independence away from him in that time! LS is a great support system! It's like group therapy. When ever I feel weak I come here and just start reading until I forget what I was thinking about. It always helps me realize what a mistake it would be if I were still with my ex. and how I deserve someone much better than him! This thread is very long yet truly worth reading! http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=56954 Good Luck to you in your Wonderful New Life without him! =) FT
Author Tamia78 Posted April 4, 2010 Author Posted April 4, 2010 Big ego boost to realise you areattractive to somebody else. Only i seem to attract 22yr old boys and i refuse to kiss something i could have given birth to :laugh::laugh: Nobby xx So..........you're a cougar? Jk, jk.... I'm so glad you are realizing that you ARE attractive, no matter how the ex felt about you. Keep looking in that mirror and liking what you see! Those fond memories will fade quicker once you meet a man who catches your fancy. Be patient, try to talk more with men that you find interesting and see what happens from there. Once you meet someone nice, you won't keep dwelling on the past. Thanks for that, Fouts. Actually, I am talking to and dating other men, and having fun doing it. Thing is, I come home from a date, and BOOM! I have an urge to call him or think about him, or something. At least it doesn't happen while on the date, eh? :-)
Fouts Posted April 4, 2010 Posted April 4, 2010 Great minds think alike What really is to disagree with though. If you get dumped and lock yourself in a vacuum, that's all you have, all there is to think about. That someone you loved doesn't want you anymore. When you get out and realize there's alot of other men and women who are better looking, better lovers and will treat you better than your ex, life can be good again. It just takes time and people want to feel good again overnight. I agree with you too Nobby, there's a certain point you get where young just isn't a turn-on anymore. Not sure when it happened to me, but early-mid 20's are just girls to me anymore, not women that I find hot.
nobmagnet Posted April 4, 2010 Posted April 4, 2010 Yes indeed. nice to look at but not spend time with :laugh: Nobby xx PS whats a cougar?
Author Tamia78 Posted April 4, 2010 Author Posted April 4, 2010 Yes indeed. nice to look at but not spend time with :laugh: Nobby xx PS whats a cougar? Sorry Nobby, Here, a cougar is a term for a woman dating a younger man. Only joking, dear!
Fouts Posted April 4, 2010 Posted April 4, 2010 Thanks for that, Fouts. Actually, I am talking to and dating other men, and having fun doing it. Thing is, I come home from a date, and BOOM! I have an urge to call him or think about him, or something. At least it doesn't happen while on the date, eh? :-) You're making baby steps hun, it takes time. Sometime it takes a rebound relationship or two. The point is, you're moving forward and definitely will find someone that's deserving of you in the end.
ginyi1111 Posted April 4, 2010 Posted April 4, 2010 its been 4 months NC for me and i still think about him everyday...analyzing the situation, why did be break up with me etc.. it will get better and you need to surround yourself by people that love you, that care about you...and one day you will realize that you can leave the hurt and pain behind you, and focus on the future ahead of you, without him.
Author Tamia78 Posted April 4, 2010 Author Posted April 4, 2010 You're making baby steps hun, it takes time. Sometime it takes a rebound relationship or two. The point is, you're moving forward and definitely will find someone that's deserving of you in the end. Wait....how many rebound relationships am I allowed? This could get interesting, lol. its been 4 months NC for me and i still think about him everyday...analyzing the situation, why did be break up with me etc.. it will get better and you need to surround yourself by people that love you, that care about you...and one day you will realize that you can leave the hurt and pain behind you, and focus on the future ahead of you, without him. Thanks, Ginyi, I'm spending alot more time with my family and friends these days. I would like to still spend alot of time with them even if I find someone I really like. In the past, I've spent 99% of my time with my guy..........I don't want to do that anymore. Maybe that was another problem in my relationship. AAAAHH! I'm analyzing again.... Stay Strong! 6 months is a great start and you can probably think of how much you have grown in your independence away from him in that time! Good Luck to you in your Wonderful New Life without him! =) FT Hi FT. You were so right! I read that thread..........all I have to say is wow. I think you're also right about gaining that independence. I'm just impatient, I think. I want to be rid of him so I can move on finally. I don't want to care about what he's doing anymore. If I ever saw him out on the street with another woman, I want to be able to just be calm and maybe even smile at him (or kick him in the butt, either one ). Did I mention you guys are awesome? --T
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