PhillySpecial Posted April 5, 2010 Posted April 5, 2010 He has a stable job though not a career to write home about. She's in the service industry. I don't remember him having a girlfriend in the recent past so this probably is the one. That's why I'm curious as to what he sees in her. Since I'm around her age group, maybe I should look for men much older than me. caseinpoint, what I've realized is this... Men are going to do what they want to do, whether it's only date super thin blondes, or much younger women, or only woman of one race... I mean we could sit here forever and try to analyze his motives for dating her. Again you stated she's attractive, so really that's all it takes for most guys! As for you, I think you should definitely open yourself up to dating older guys in addition to your own age group. We're in the same age group I think I'm 30, you're about 32-33 right? I wouldn't date younger though, since guys mature at a much slower pace then women and guys in their 20's aren't usually looking for LTR's. I've just found there's a serious maturity gap with younger guys.. However a 29 year old with a good job who's looking for a LTR may work... What I'm saying is just be as open as possible when dating, don't get caught up on age, treat each person as an individual. Its about looking at the total package. That's the best thing you can do, that way you'll increase your odds of finding someone and have just as many options as Mr. I'm Dating a 25 Yr Old.
Jersey Shortie Posted April 5, 2010 Posted April 5, 2010 LOL. I'm not particularly looking for a May/December romance. I'm more interested for something I'm doing for psychology. I like older men though, just not necessarily a lot older. Have you dated younger men? Yes I have dated younger men and men around my age. Not all older men are mature. Not all younger men are immature.
OceanTropic Posted April 5, 2010 Posted April 5, 2010 It depends. If he is married with 3 kids....then that's gross. I find that men date younger girls to feel younger, cuz they are feeling like theyre getting old. I think its appropriate in some circumstances. For instance, my boyfriend is 10 years older than I am. But we are on the same page, have the same lifestyle, similar hobbies and such. We are basically the exact same. And hes not married haha. However some older men either just went thru a divorce, or a personal crisis, and date younger girls to "prove" themselves worthy. I dunno, to me age is just a number, and ive always like older men. I guess it depends on the person. Sometimes they genuinely fall inlove with younger women, other times they just need to feel better about themselves. I think more than 15 years isnt going to work out. Then again, Celine Dion and her hubby have 35 years between them, and they're happy as sh*t. Kudos to them.
LucreziaBorgia Posted April 5, 2010 Posted April 5, 2010 There is a man here, who fifteen years ago was a hot looking lawyer in his late thirties. He had a clear cut rule: he would only date ridiculously hot women under 25, and would not date the same woman for more than a couple of months. He had his pick too: lots of young beautiful women in this college town. Now... he is older, did not age well, and still trying to date ridiculously hot women under twenty five. Not as much luck these days for him. What used to be looked on with envy fifteen years ago now just brings snickers and eye rolling. He is seen as a bit of a lech these days. I suspect he'll be married in under five years. His dating run is just about over for him.
sally4sara Posted April 5, 2010 Posted April 5, 2010 I don't really think anything about them. I didn't date older men when I was younger. Some of that had to do with not wanting my own age to be a reason for why they dated me. Some of it had to do with simple circumstance. I think it is possible for people to find compatible partners of any adult age mix. I would have to know much more about each individual relationship to really make a judgment call about it. Yeah, sometimes a large age difference can seem to me from a distasteful motivation, but you can find that in any relationship even if they are of the same age group. Really, if it isn't YOUR relationship and no one is breaking any laws or hurting someone - why care?
bac Posted April 5, 2010 Posted April 5, 2010 Could you elaborate on why you date older men, if I may ask? I would date old men because I would want him to be my daddy which includes to pay for everything I need. If I want to have a job, I do not need an older man. If I am a US citizen, I do not need to get married an older american. Women need older men to solve their economical problems. There are many reasons why older (mid40s-50) men want younger women. But, there is no reason why younger women would want it, except the economical one. At some point in their relationship, the woman will finally become a US citizen and get the job. At some point, she will find out that she wants to have sex and emotional connection called love. Her sex drive will grow with her age, but his sex drive will disappear. But, the most terrifying thing about the older men is their looks. Fat, wrinkled, saggy face, huge stomach and other features of a grandfather. And, how is it possible that she would want even to kiss the'grandfather' when there are plenty of young hot guys around.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 Uhhhhhhh, "May-December romances" are nearer to Anna Nicole Smith and Howard Marshall, not some of these examples.
Chicago_Guy Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 I don't see what the problem is. Besides, there are very few men who can pull this off with an attractive and mature younger woman. Most of the older guys probably wouldn't even tolerate a younger woman if she was very immature.
bluz73 Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 My ex bf who is 31 is dating an 18 year old..She just graduated highschool 2 months before they met, she lives with him at HIS PARENTS house (he dont have his own place) She has NO CAR(uses his) She works fulltime, he collects unemployment while battling pain pill addiction...Obviously not for money or stability?? Note he is fairly attractive, she is not the knockout 18 year old you are all assuming, she has the body of an underdeveloped 12 yearold and the face of a 14 year old, so its not her attraction, I am assuming its desparation for a place to stay??? WHY this girl is dating him is beyond me!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Author caseinpoint Posted April 6, 2010 Author Posted April 6, 2010 I don't really have a problem dating or with others dating an older man. I think it's the number of years of gap that I don't quite understand. I know attraction is beyond anything. But more than 10 years is unfathomable. The girl just started working and the guy has worked for about 20 years. Sure, every poster here has tried explaining it their way, which I can understand. To each their own is probably the best conclusion, isn't it? caseinpoint, what I've realized is this... Men are going to do what they want to do, whether it's only date super thin blondes, or much younger women, or only woman of one race... I mean we could sit here forever and try to analyze his motives for dating her. Again you stated she's attractive, so really that's all it takes for most guys! As for you, I think you should definitely open yourself up to dating older guys in addition to your own age group. We're in the same age group I think I'm 30, you're about 32-33 right? I wouldn't date younger though, since guys mature at a much slower pace then women and guys in their 20's aren't usually looking for LTR's. I've just found there's a serious maturity gap with younger guys.. However a 29 year old with a good job who's looking for a LTR may work... What I'm saying is just be as open as possible when dating, don't get caught up on age, treat each person as an individual. Its about looking at the total package. That's the best thing you can do, that way you'll increase your odds of finding someone and have just as many options as Mr. I'm Dating a 25 Yr Old.
Engadget Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 I'm 32 and seeing an 18 year old right now. So you think your ex's new squeeze would be better off on the streets? These young women are with us because we older guys are obviously filling a missing piece in their lives. A lot of the time it's a daddy complex. Not always, but it's usually the case.
Author caseinpoint Posted April 6, 2010 Author Posted April 6, 2010 Wouldn't it be more why this guy is dating her is beyond you? My ex bf who is 31 is dating an 18 year old..She just graduated highschool 2 months before they met, she lives with him at HIS PARENTS house (he dont have his own place) She has NO CAR(uses his) She works fulltime, he collects unemployment while battling pain pill addiction...Obviously not for money or stability?? Note he is fairly attractive, she is not the knockout 18 year old you are all assuming, she has the body of an underdeveloped 12 yearold and the face of a 14 year old, so its not her attraction, I am assuming its desparation for a place to stay??? WHY this girl is dating him is beyond me!!!!!!!!!!!!!
bac Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 I'm 32 and seeing an 18 year old right now. So you think your ex's new squeeze would be better off on the streets? These young women are with us because we older guys are obviously filling a missing piece in their lives. If you are 32, you are not old. You are just perfect. That is why there is no problem for you to date girls of any age. You do not have any terrible features that the old men have such as grey hair, bad breath, saggy faces, ED, low libido, extra-pounds, lack of energy and many other their qualities. It is totally different when a man in 50s wants to date a girl in 20s. And, most men in mid 40s-50s do want to date them. I have recently checked out the pictures files of two of my FWBs from online. There was a bunch of girls in 20s from dating sites mostly Asian girls. They told me that they were girls who they have contacted. These guys look pretty ugly even for me. I can not even imagine what they might say to young girls and how they might make girls get interested in them.
Author caseinpoint Posted April 6, 2010 Author Posted April 6, 2010 Why would you think anyone would marry him, the way you described him to be? There is a man here, who fifteen years ago was a hot looking lawyer in his late thirties. He had a clear cut rule: he would only date ridiculously hot women under 25, and would not date the same woman for more than a couple of months. He had his pick too: lots of young beautiful women in this college town. Now... he is older, did not age well, and still trying to date ridiculously hot women under twenty five. Not as much luck these days for him. What used to be looked on with envy fifteen years ago now just brings snickers and eye rolling. He is seen as a bit of a lech these days. I suspect he'll be married in under five years. His dating run is just about over for him.
faf Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 I'm 42, fiance is 26. I'm average looking but look like I'm early to mid 30s, she's good looking. We're both in good shape and are improving to excellent shape. We jog, we hike, we like the outdoors. We don't watch TV. We don't live together. We have political, economic, and religious views pretty much in line. We each have one kid and probably won't have any more. Our views on parenting are roughly similar. People bond for different reasons. Many guys her age in this area play XBOX all day long, are frivolous with cash, gawk at every bit of exposed flesh they see on the street, hold their wankers while they walk, memorize every sports score since 1967 but can't change a flat tire, are effeminate metrosexuals, use drugs, or are generally moronic. Their loss, my gain.
skydiveaddict Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 cincinati sux columbus sux cleveland sux But denver aint bad
stillafool Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 I can't blame them.. I also like younger guys... This is how I feel. I really don't care. People have their preferences and to each his own. If I were you I would just move on to someone who likes women your age. I certainly wouldn't view a guy different because he finds younger women attractive. Youth is attractive.
cooldudeinberlin Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 How do I feel? I could care less what others do in their lives as long as they arent hurting anyone else... its none of my business what two consenting adults decide to do.... in most countries in the world (e.g., wester and eastern Europe) it really isnt that big of a deal for the attractive, fit, charming man to attract women much younger... it just depends on what those women are really like... are they really that much younger in mentality or are they somewhat mature and independent? Honestly, it may be flattering when the 21-24 yr olds are giving me attention, but I just dont really take them that seriously and dont even consider dating them.... hey, some other guys might, but not really my thing to have an arm trophy... been there and done that... shallow and boring.
Jersey Shortie Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 I think it's important to be clear that there is a difference between someone who might date someone younger compared to someone that only dates younger. I also loose a little respect for men or women that might date younger and take a certain sesnse of pride in it and give way to bragging as if they accomplished something terrific. They judge themselves by the willingness of a younger person's acceptance of them. And we all know that younger people can be stupid. I have more respect for a man that is confident enough to judge his own personal merits on the person he is. Not the willingness of a younger peron or woman accepting him. To me, you don't have real confidence if you get validation through what kind of woman accepts you because you are relaying on women for self acceptance. I want a man that judges his merit with something more worthwhile. I remember this one time with an ex that was much older then myself. We went out for New Years Eve at his ivy league college's club. Big band, lots of food and wine, black tie event. We were standing in line for some raw osters and this older man infront of him also had a younger lady with him. The other man turned to my boyfriend and said, "Isn't it nice that we get to enjoy this evening with our daughters." Total nosewater. My ex was embarressed and just mumbled something and looked at me and I repressed a smile.
annxxdisaster Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 WHY this girl is dating him is beyond me!!!!!!!!!!!!! You answered this yourself. Note he is fairly attractive.
Kamille Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 I've dated older and younger men (4 men with a +10 year difference, all older) and I don't think I have daddy issues or that I was looking for a sugar daddy. My first experience, I was 20 and he was 30. In that one, the age difference was a problem because... well... I was 20 and not ready to settle down. (20 year old me found herself saying: "What do you mean you want to stay home and cook a romantic dinner? It's Margarita Monday at Mexi's! The whole gang will be there") But, now that I think about it, there are a lot of reasons why older men are great. (At least the ones I dated!) In my experience, they have enough life experience to not sweat the small stuff. Contrary to what some have ventured here, the older men I dated were less controlling than younger men or men my age. I also found them more secure in their masculinity (they don't feel like they have to prove how manly they are, if that makes sense). And the men I dated were generally more laid back and had enough relationship experience to be mature and easy to communicate with (they got less defensive in arguments). Yes, there is an age difference between current bf and I, of the magnitude under analysis here.
123BeachFan Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 He's dating 15 years his junior and a woman from a poorer country. So he's got one-up on her not only in the age/experience category, but also the economic category (I assume). It might be that he likes to feel like he has the lion's share of the power in a relationship. Or it might be nothing. But both elements (age + her status) makes me think there's something amiss.
bluz73 Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 You answered this yourself. well i must say, Looks verses drug problem, living at mamas at 31, unemployed and lazy surely shouldnt be the reason WHY she would want him. I was stupid enough to put up with it for 6 years! I refused to live with him at mamas or live with him period til he kicked the habit...never did and now he found someone who is ok with it! To put it simply, the girl has family probs rebellion type of teen, wanted out of the parents place, chose this bum over a free car and college????? Live and learn I am sure she will. For him, I know I was too good for him and he settled for someone who accepted his childish behavior. He normally dated someone maybe 3 years younger and me 6 years older...never dated someone 13 years younger. But knowing my own daughter is her age makes me sick he could have been her stepdad...think bout that one and tell me how devasted you would feel!
Ruby Slippers Posted April 7, 2010 Posted April 7, 2010 I never felt comfortable dating significantly older men (10 years or more) because, in my experience, those are the ones who try to throw money at you to keep you. I always found it a turn-off when a guy was in a big hurry to "take care of me". I would think: What's wrong with you that you feel you have to offer me monetary reward to spend time with you? Being generous with your money is one thing -- but these guys seemed to be looking for reasons to splash out and show off the bank roll, which turned me off.
ingridh Posted April 7, 2010 Posted April 7, 2010 He's dating 15 years his junior and a woman from a poorer country. So he's got one-up on her not only in the age/experience category, but also the economic category (I assume). It might be that he likes to feel like he has the lion's share of the power in a relationship. Or it might be nothing. But both elements (age + her status) makes me think there's something amiss. Are you talking about my ex and his fiancée?
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