weena1981 Posted April 3, 2010 Posted April 3, 2010 (edited) I wish that I read LS before sending out emails/texts on and off for over 2 years to the ex-love of my life. All I wanted to do was talk about our feelings for each other every time. It would have save me the heartache that I am experiencing right now. I see parts of me in some of the threads. It has been hard for me to not think "oh. I'm different. Or my situation is different from PP". But, after reading so many threads, I realize that I am in the same boat with a lot of LS members. Also, I wish that I can think rationally about my own love life. Listening to other people's relationships, I can give good advice. With my own relationships, not so much. I just rationalize the stupidest things that he does (like being ignored- he needs time along even though I was supportive to him when he was working on reconciling with his then-wife (now ex's). At the time, I considered him to be my best friend and felt that I needed to be there with him even though secretly my heart was breaking in half that he loved his ex-wife. I guess that I just made him feel better which that are what friends are for. But I guess that I was looking for more. When I realize that it wasn't happening, I chose to still be friends and hide my emotions. It didn't work out well after I sent a long drawn out email about my feelings that he did not respond to. When the ex fell out of the picture (3 months later) he tried to come back into my life as friends. I ignored him for 9 months hoping that he would come to his senses or at least I could move on (hoping for the former- which I learned on LS doesn't work). Then, last year this time, I sent a friend request on facebook to him and ask if he would like to have lunch. He accepted the friend request but didn't even accept my offer for lunch or talk to me through Facebook or anything for 3 months. I guess that he had heard through the grapevine that I moving to a different city. Anyway, a couple days before I moved (moving in May...sent friend request in Feb), I sent an email saying that the ball was in his court....blah blah...still care for you...moving away to a city only 1 hour away...blah. Do you know instead of responding, he gets his friend to say on facebook that he had moved out of state even though I find out later that he didn't. After that, he got other friends to send me random texts or calls. For instance, a girl called and asked me if I still love him. That night, I sent a text saying that I wish that he would talk to me....after a couple of emails sent to him by me about telling him that I care for him...Fast forward 6 months later to the present...he changes his Facebook status....he's in a relationship.....I send him an email 3 times...asking if he really is in a relationship with somebody else...after the third time...he saids he is in a relationship...in a happy place and never been happier. It really hurt to hear that...I sent an email back saying that I was glad that he is happy..wanted to be his friend...but needed to find my own happiness......I told him that I was deleting him off of my Facebook in one week (ended up deleted him that day and deactivated my account). Now I wish that I had not sent the email and the next email stating an apology for the previous over-reacting/over-the-top email. Haven't heard from him after sending those emails. At the moment, I realize after typing this, that he is not worth it. I have been tired of being the initiator all the time. We were really close friends 6-7 years ago. But within 3-4 years ago, the only time that he needed me was when he was feeling down. However, it's hard because I have a little bit of hope. Don't get me wrong, the hope has dwindled since I have been reading many LS threads, but it's still there. I'm just trying to move on. I feel that he may have been worried about rejection and loneliness than being without me. Edited April 3, 2010 by weena1981
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