yah Posted April 3, 2010 Posted April 3, 2010 (edited) I was dating someone for 6 months. We truly enjoyed being with one another and I could see us being together long-term. I wouldn't say I was in love with him only because 6 months is too short to really know but I think I/we were probably headed in that direction. I'm 24, he's 25. The problem is he is Jewish and I am Christian. During the 6 months he told me he wasn't sure if he wanted to marry Jewish or not. He tried meeting/dating Jewish women before he decided that meeting the right person is hard enough, so it shouldn't matter what religion she is in as long as they are happy together. He said it is more the culture/heritage that mattered to him rather than the religion for his future family. Like I said, I really liked him so I prayed about it, read some bible material and told him all the things I am willing to compromise on. I'm willing to raise my children Jewish (it is the same God and it is more important to foster in them a love for God) and celebrate the Jewish holidays (I don't know of any holidays that conflict with Christianity, and raising kids with a single culture/traditions -- rather than to confuse them with both judaism & christianity -- is less confusing). Christians do not look down on interfaith marriage but Judaism doesn't accept it. On the topic of kids, I told him all the things that were most important to me - I want a happy home, someone who is a good husband and father, kids who love and appreciate God. When they grow up, if they love their Jewish upbringing enough (and I will try my best at this if he was willing to teach me how) they will not stray from Judaism. Neither of us are really hardcore about religion. I go to bible study but not Sunday service; he does not attend any religious service but he does keep kosher and his family observes shabbat and the holidays. FWIW, I started following the rules of the Kosher diet he told me about approx. 2 months into the relationship. He never asked me to but I wanted to see what it was like. (I did pretty well =D) He went home for Passover sedar. When he came back Tuesday night he said he made his decision; he wants to have a Jewish family and home and therefore does not see a future for us. I was so heartbroken. Yesterday (Fri) he said logic tells him he should not be with me but that 'something feels wrong' so he should be with me again. I really like this guy. My logic and emotions tell me different things as well. Is there even a chance for us again? I have already offered and reminded him of everything I can offer (my willingness to compromise). I kind of realize there is nothing more I can do but I'm still hoping there is still a chance. What do you think? Advice? Edited April 3, 2010 by yah easier reading
vanek26 Posted April 3, 2010 Posted April 3, 2010 It's very silly and childish to only date someone who shares your own belief system. Maybe he will grow out of it and think for himself, but considering the pressure he probably feels from his family and faith about this matter, the average guy is going to cave into it. If the chemistry is strong enough though, he might just overcome his ignorance. I was in a similar situation a year ago. I am not religious at all and met a girl who was a born-again christian. She was crazy hardcore into her religion and swore she would only date another christian like her. We had excellent chemistry though and connected really well. After about a month the dam finally broke and we started going out. I eventually broke things off for other reasons, but by the end of it she was crazily into me and her faith didn't matter at all. And when I met her, she was the strictest Christian I'd ever met. Today, she's dating a typical college frat boy and living the party lifestyle. So, it's definitely possible. Not sure if I'd count on it, but stick with him if you really think he's worth it.
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