onewillburn Posted April 3, 2010 Posted April 3, 2010 I've posted several times now about the increasing presence of my ex in my life. I still haven't seen her or spoken with her, but she's talking to all of my friends, booked a show at her house for my friend's band that I was supposed to book a show for, etc. Regarding my friend's band, I actually had messaged them to see if they wanted to hang out after the show. They never got back to me and now my ex is in their top friends on myspace. It's petty, but it kind of feels like she was chosen over me. She didn't even know this person (my friend) and she booked a show for them most likely to make me jealous. It just gives me a ****ty feeling. It's getting to the point where I just want an entirely new set of friends because I'm tired of this. I want to move on and heal completely, but the chances of me running into her seem to grow with every passing day. I'm over it in the sense that I don't miss her at all or want a relationship, but there is still a lingering feeling of pain, like this little button somewhere on my body that presses itself only when certain things happen. I'm usually strong when it comes to pain, but this one issue can make me crack if pressed hard enough. I know I need to remain strong, but there's been so little payoff that it's tempting to just break down and let the world consume me. I don't know how long it's been since I've been genuinely satisfied with my life.
spriggig Posted April 3, 2010 Posted April 3, 2010 It's getting to the point where I just want an entirely new set of friends because I'm tired of this. I want to move on and heal completely... Maybe this is actually an option? Move out of town for a couple of years or whatever and get away from it? I did this very thing in my early twenties.
Author onewillburn Posted April 3, 2010 Author Posted April 3, 2010 Maybe this is actually an option? Move out of town for a couple of years or whatever and get away from it? I did this very thing in my early twenties. Yeah, it's just bizarre. After we split, she kind of gravitated towards some old friends of mine that sort of hung out with friends of hers. I chalked it up to the game and went out and met some new friends. Now she's kind of talking with some of my new friends, which can be frustrating when you're still not 100% healed. I just got back from the gym, so of course I feel a thousand times better. I've avoided certain parties and shows where she'll be at, but I'm thinking maybe I should just say "**** it" and go. I won't acknowledge her and I'll just have a good time. If I can start doing this without any problems, there might not be much of a problem anymore.
DustySaltus Posted April 3, 2010 Posted April 3, 2010 This is the same girl who started a blog about how horrible your relationship was. Her behaviors are extremely vindictive. You have every right to be mad about what has transpired but you need to use that pain and anger in a constructive way to better yourself. As far as your friends go, there are two things going on. first off, they are trying to make a name for themselves with the band. So they aren't going to pass up a gig. Sure, it make seems selfish but they got to do what they got to do. I remember having a deep conversation with my father one day about friendship. He said he had a lot of friends grow up but as he went through ups and downs, got married, had kids and went through just about everything life can throw at him those friendships were tested, phased out and sometimes lost for different reasons. Now, I'm only 28 but I've seen examples of what he's talking about already. A true friend would stick besides you no matter what. When she's talking nonsense to them they would take it with a grain of salt, ignoring it or stick up for you. They haven't done anything, not even a response to you. Sounds like some friends that you can do without. And I know that's a harsh take on things but I'd rather have a small group of friends that I can count on than a large group of friends on facebook, if you know what I;m saying. So while you think life is unfair right now with all is going on, you're learning valuable lessons about friendship and dignity. Through adversity we build our character. Continue to focus on yourself and what you are going to do to make yourself happy. There are plenty of friends to make and bands to book. Things will change in time. Stay positive.
spriggig Posted April 3, 2010 Posted April 3, 2010 I just got back from the gym, so of course I feel a thousand times better. I've avoided certain parties and shows where she'll be at, but I'm thinking maybe I should just say "**** it" and go. I won't acknowledge her and I'll just have a good time. If I can start doing this without any problems, there might not be much of a problem anymore. I like this, you're working on yourself (the gym) and feeling better. You go to the events without regard for her presence or lack thereof. Just live your life. In time, she'll fade back into the background and you'll keep moving forward.
nobmagnet Posted April 3, 2010 Posted April 3, 2010 hello, well sprig gave some food for thought.........are you committed to where you are? schooling ect? if not................come and see the world!:) mae memories that will make you grow as a human. Trust me when you are older that opportunity diminshes big style! either do it young or old! let me add to the seed that was sooooo correctively seeded. Go and help a country that needs it, plan to travel to learn and help. all over this planet. I promice you that it will be amazing and you will change for the better nobby xx
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