punch wingspan Posted April 3, 2010 Posted April 3, 2010 (edited) But yeah, I've recently begun developing feelings for a female friend. I'm 20, and have never dated before (figured it was pointless in high school since I knew everybody was moving to different states and countries), so I'm not sure how to go about asking her out, or even determining if she's interested in me as more than just friends (she is single, according to her facebook). Furthermore, I consider her a good friend, and am not sure if it'd be wise to ask, thinking it could ruin a friendship.... so I need help, please. edit - I've thought about either signing up in Facebook under a different name, saying I'm a mutual friend of hers and mine, and telling her that I like her, asking if she's interested. As well as just striking up a conversation saying something like "There's this girl I like, but I'm not sure how to go about seeing if she wants to go out... Can you give me any advice?" and using whatever advice she may give (if any) on her... Thoughts? Edited April 3, 2010 by punch wingspan
nothappyjan Posted April 3, 2010 Posted April 3, 2010 argh please dont do the fake facebook person. Its best to just ask, be cool and casual like its no big deal. The more confident you are the more likely she will probably say yes. Playing games will probably just annoy her and not help your cause.
Author punch wingspan Posted April 3, 2010 Author Posted April 3, 2010 argh please dont do the fake facebook person. Its best to just ask, be cool and casual like its no big deal. The more confident you are the more likely she will probably say yes. Playing games will probably just annoy her and not help your cause. Alright, I won't do that. What would be the chances of asking possibly ruining the friendship in the long run? Because I really don't want that... if it comes down to it I'd rather just stay a friend.
nothappyjan Posted April 3, 2010 Posted April 3, 2010 Alright, I won't do that. What would be the chances of asking possibly ruining the friendship in the long run? Because I really don't want that... if it comes down to it I'd rather just stay a friend. Maybe tell her that. When you ask her say its no big deal if you are happy staying as friends, i can live with that as i dont want to risk our friendship cause i do value you as a friend. As long as you dont go overboard or make her feel uncomfortable about saying no, I would say it should be ok. Just keep the tone casual and light and people dont know how much you are secretly freaking out on the inside:p
MalachiX Posted April 3, 2010 Posted April 3, 2010 edit - I've thought about either signing up in Facebook under a different name, saying I'm a mutual friend of hers and mine, and telling her that I like her, asking if she's interested. That is the stupidest thing I've heard in at least five minutes (but I live in a very stupid part of the country). Consider how creepy that's going to come across. As well as just striking up a conversation saying something like "There's this girl I like, but I'm not sure how to go about seeing if she wants to go out... Can you give me any advice?" and using whatever advice she may give (if any) on her... Thoughts? And that one is more likely to get you pity once she figures out it's her you like. Look, I'm not trying to be mean but I hate threads like this because I wanna reach out and shake the other person since I've wasted so much time being shy feeling inadequate in dating experience is something that continues. If you don't date much in college and feel bad about it then that may stop you from being more outgoing after college. It's a self-perpetuating issue that's not gonna get fixed unless you REALLY push yourself out of your comfort zone. Just ask her out. Even if you make a fool of yourself, at least you'll have done it once and have less of a phobia.
Author punch wingspan Posted April 3, 2010 Author Posted April 3, 2010 Maybe tell her that. When you ask her say its no big deal if you are happy staying as friends, i can live with that as i dont want to risk our friendship cause i do value you as a friend. As long as you dont go overboard or make her feel uncomfortable about saying no, I would say it should be ok. Just keep the tone casual and light and people dont know how much you are secretly freaking out on the inside:p Thanks for the advice. I'll try and work up the courage by Monday (won't see her again until at least then, and I really don't think it'd be a good idea to ask on Facebook or something). A friend and I are supposed to teach her how to play Magic the Gathering before class then (I'll wait or arrange it so that we're alone when I ask, maybe just try saying something like "Want to see a movie Friday?" or something.), so it seems as good a time as any. I'm still super nervous, but I'll probably post whether I manage to gain the courage and her response Tuesday morning. Thanks again, nothappyjan.
nothappyjan Posted April 3, 2010 Posted April 3, 2010 Thanks for the advice. I'll try and work up the courage by Monday (won't see her again until at least then, and I really don't think it'd be a good idea to ask on Facebook or something). A friend and I are supposed to teach her how to play Magic the Gathering before class then (I'll wait or arrange it so that we're alone when I ask, maybe just try saying something like "Want to see a movie Friday?" or something.), so it seems as good a time as any. I'm still super nervous, but I'll probably post whether I manage to gain the courage and her response Tuesday morning. Thanks again, nothappyjan. Good Luck and remember she likes you enough to be your friend so keep that confidence. You seem like a lovely guy so im sure she will be lucky to have you
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