Not sure if boyfriend of three years cares anymore..

[meymeygirl09]

I NEED ADVICE!! sorry if i ramble, i tend to do that a lot.

 

Okay, me and my boyfriend's three year anniversary is this month on the 25th. We got together when I was 15 and he was 17. We have been going up and down for the past two years but we both can't seem to let go of eachother. This is my issue at hand:

 

My boyfriend, Anthony, has always been real lazy and never motivated. He took an extra year to graduate high school, put on a lot of weight, went to a vocational school but never did anything with it, and has not held a job until last month. So he has been broke and stuck on video games for at least a year straight till last month. I have always stuck with him no matter what. I had NEVER questioned our relationship or never thought of his situation as being a reason to end things. I am very much in love with him and i KNOW deep down he loves me too. He got my lips tattooed on both sides of his neck, has got me two promise rings so far, and is always talking about marrying me and starting our family. Currently, i am attending college while he works at Home Depot. We both still live with our families even though his mom is very bi-polar and kicks him out all the time so he always comes and lives with me. My family LOVES him, spoils him, and treat him like he is one of their own. Every holiday, event, vacation, you name it.. he is there and pretty well taken care of to say the least. I do NOT think he is with me because of the "perks" and the way my family spoils him because I know he is better then that. Currently we are waiting to find out if I am pregnant or not. I have had many symptoms, I am just waiting on my period to come or not. He already "knows" its a girl and picked out names himself and is always looking online at baby stuff and talking to my belly. He seems VERY excited and veryy into being a father.

 

Now, my problem. My boyfriend I think has really bad anger issues. He always has. When we fight, all he can do is either walk away, hang up on me, break up with me, call me names or tell me all kinds of hurtful things. He always tells me that is his "defense" when we are fighting because he gets so angry. I do have to admit I might contribute to that at times. He always tells me if we start to fight to just let him be and leave him alone and he wont say all those hurtful things BUT i just cant do it for some reason. When we fight i wanna talk about it THEN and handle things THEN not later. So when he hangs up, i call back. And he hates it. But i still feel like if he loved me oh so much like he says, wouldnt that stop him from being so cold to me? Some times he will tell me I ruind his life and he doesnt care about me or the relationship anymore and he has just been trying to get rid of me and it REALLY hurts me. But then once he calms down he apologizes and tells me he didnt mean any of it and i should know thats how he gets when i dont let him be. I agree with him because i DO know that, yet i still continue to call back and demand to talk about things. But i stil dont see that as a reason to say so many hurtful things to me. I KNOW this is not the healthy kind of relationship we should have to bring a baby into so I am just looking for advice on how to not really "change" him but more get through to him that he is hurting me and he will lose me if he keeps this up. I always run back to him because i fall for what he tells me so i just dont know what to do.. any help would be greatly appreciated. Any questions just ask. I know i ramble and sometimes dont make sense ha

[linwood]

Here`s the cold hard truth.

 

Your boyfriend is a loser (I know because his clone lives on my couch).

 

Dump him.

 

If you`re pregnant get an abortion.

 

You`re 18 years old and you`re already half way towards destroying your life.

 

Wipe the slate clean and start over.

[SarahRose]

Here`s the cold hard truth.

 

Your boyfriend is a loser (I know because his clone lives on my couch).

 

Dump him.

 

If you`re pregnant get an abortion.

 

You`re 18 years old and you`re already half way towards destroying your life.

 

Wipe the slate clean and start over.

 

I agree with this.

 

The partner you chose in life is so important. Wipe the slate clean. Work on your self esteem to avoid these types of losers. This guy has NOTHING to offer you other than a hard wiener.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

I read your entire post, and I want you to make a deal with us here at Loveshack:

 

 

Your family sounds wonderful, and you tell us that they love your b/f and treat him as one of their own.

 

 

The deal I want you to make with us here, is that IF and WHEN your family turns against your boyfriend, for what-ev-er reason, I want you to abide by your family's advice.

 

I'll trust their judgment, and I think you should too!

 

 

(that means sticking WITH your guy when the family seems to endorse doing so, and being ready to move-on from him when the famly suggests that)

[make me believe]

(that means sticking WITH your guy when the family seems to endorse doing so, and being ready to move-on from him when the famly suggests that)

 

This is crazy!! Why should she stick with an emotionally/verbally abusive, manipulative, unemployed loser because her family likes him? Her family isn't in a relationship with him. Her family doesn't have to listen to him call her names and tell her that she ruined his life. In fact, I'd be willing to bet that her family doesn't even know this stuff goes on, which is why they seem to like him so much.

 

You need to dump this guy ASAP. What is he adding to your life? Why are you with him? Because you "love" him? Honey, you are only 18. He's all you've ever known, of course you think it's "love". But let me tell you, somebody who loves you doesn't call you names, break up with you repeatedly, yell at you, and then afterwards say it was your fault anyway. That is CLASSIC behavior of an abuser.

 

I always run back to him because i fall for what he tells me

 

I bet he is promising you that things will get better, he will change, he will stop calling you names & saying hurtful things.. right? Well, has any of this stuff EVER changed? For the past three years nothing has changed. So why on earth would you think things will change now? Believe me, it won't. He has no motivation to change his behavior because he knows you'll always come running back the second he tells you a few mushy things about how he "loves" you. Don't put up with it any longer!! You are SO young and you're going to waste your life with a guy who has no respect for you?? PLEASE have more respect for YOURSELF than to stay with this jerk.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

This is crazy!! Why should she stick with an emotionally/verbally abusive, manipulative, unemployed loser because her family likes him?

 

 

Honey, you are only 18.

 

 

 

Looks like you answered your own question.

[Template]

Girl, you are an adult now and it's time that you start looking at your life and make decisions that affect your life. People are going to say dump the bum, but in reality, you have to decide. Hell, you may just be one of the crazy few women out there that likes to be mistreated, abused, and are looking forward to a unhappy life.

 

About changing him. People cannot change other people. People must take it upon themselves to change themselves. That's the only way they truly be who they were meant to be. As of right now, in his eyes, he has no reason to change. However, you have every reason, and opportunity to make your life what you want it to be. I sincerely hope you make the right decisions.

[Vanessa-Anne]

My boyfriend does this too, and im 18 too, and its soo hard to walk away.

I wish i could just walk away. Or he would just WAKE UP and change.