mimidarlin Posted April 3, 2010 Posted April 3, 2010 I know he's out tonight with the guys. Probably at a gentlemen's club. I've tried calling friends but nobody is home. I'm a mess and I'm lonely. It feels pretty desperate. I'd go out shopping if I could stop crying. Not really presentable to the public.
tnttim Posted April 3, 2010 Posted April 3, 2010 the best part of the downs of the rollercoaster is that the ups are soon to follow:D
Gunny376 Posted April 3, 2010 Posted April 3, 2010 Slice it, dice it, chop it up anyway you want? I recognized my obsession ~ so called "love" as an additiction? That this person that I was "in love with" was the most toxic thing I wanted and needed in my life? Granted that I learned a lot from being in the Marines about self control and self discipline. About sucking it up and just dealing with it! Thing is? You can't go wrong by yourself! You just can't do it! She's long gone! What am I out of? A wife? A GF? Damned the bad luck!
LonelyTiger Posted April 3, 2010 Posted April 3, 2010 I know he's out tonight with the guys. Probably at a gentlemen's club. I've tried calling friends but nobody is home. I'm a mess and I'm lonely. It feels pretty desperate. I'd go out shopping if I could stop crying. Not really presentable to the public. I know what this is like Mimi. I have been there sooo many times. My husband (sorry stbx!) now lives overseas. He has a new life, new friends (new woman?) and I used to torture myself with thoughts of what he was up to on a Saturday night while I was alone feeling sad, lonely and rejected. Ironically, I'm now in a relationship with a guy who lives 12,000 miles from me (yes he's worth it!) and most evenings my friends are busy with their own families. Unless I make the effort to go out I'm still alone a fair bit of the time. How sad am I? I'm not sure what the time difference is between us, but feel free to PM me anytime for a chat.
dgiirl Posted April 3, 2010 Posted April 3, 2010 Go shopping! Being outside will help distract your mind and the tears will stop. If shopping is not viable, go to your local park and go for a walk. Go to the library and read some books there. Just GO OUTSIDE!
nobmagnet Posted April 3, 2010 Posted April 3, 2010 ohhhhhh my. hey i was there a few nights ago. It really sucks. I had a really long evening of crying........do you know what? i woke up the next day and thro one eye looked in the mirror expecting the blotchy red eyed monster i had seen cleaning her teeth the night before..........I didnt! my eyes were blue again and not a blotch in sight. I dunno, maybe its me but a good blart (cry) seems to wipe the slate clean in a weird way. All the pent up frustrations, fear anger, resentment (why me) ect seem to get let out with a good ole cry. Big(( hugs)) we love ya! Nobby xxx
Author mimidarlin Posted April 4, 2010 Author Posted April 4, 2010 Thanks guys.... I know most of us feel this way whether we initiated/wanted the divorce or not. It catches me off guard at times though. One moment I'm fine or so I think and the next I'm crashing. Part of the problem is expending so much energy trying to maintain my composure at work and in public. When I get home and it's the weekend the walls come down. I would have gone shopping if I felt presentable. I'm breaking out in hives and I don't know if it's the anxiety or antibiotic/sun.
LonelyTiger Posted April 5, 2010 Posted April 5, 2010 Thanks guys.... I know most of us feel this way whether we initiated/wanted the divorce or not. It catches me off guard at times though. One moment I'm fine or so I think and the next I'm crashing. Part of the problem is expending so much energy trying to maintain my composure at work and in public. When I get home and it's the weekend the walls come down. I would have gone shopping if I felt presentable. I'm breaking out in hives and I don't know if it's the anxiety or antibiotic/sun. It can be exhausting putting on a brave face in public when you're dying inside. The good thing about this is that you are obviously a strong woman. You can hold it together when you need to and that's what counts. We're all entitled to fall to pieces in the privacy of our homes when things just feel too much for us. If you were holding it in all the time it wouldn't be healthy. Allow yourself to cry as much as you need to - it's part of the healing process. I had all sorts of physical symptoms when my stbx dropped the bomb shell - headaches, stomach ache, chest pains. I even started having panic attacks which I'd never had before. No explanation for any of them, other than stress. If none of your friends are free, try running yourself a hot bath or putting on some soothing music or pick up a good book - it may sound a bit cliche but it does work to relieve stress and reduce anxiety - and crying can be so tiring, having a good rest after a long sob is always worthwhile.
Author mimidarlin Posted April 6, 2010 Author Posted April 6, 2010 I love baths and books. Bought a new jacuzzi tub to go in the remodeled master bath. So to him!!!
You Go Girl Posted April 6, 2010 Posted April 6, 2010 I've never lived alone in my life. I own a little cottage that I will be moving into permanently very soon. When I go there for a few days, and sometimes a few weeks, both to enjoy it and escape the madness here, I feel the aloneness, and it makes me think I am lonely. Maybe aloneness and lonliness aren't really the same thing, we get them confused in our heads. I'll have a cat. That should ease the pain slightly. I know I was happiest in my life when my daughter still lived at home. Empty nest syndrome. Yeah, it's going to be tough. Making plans, an active social life, not drinking alone, these are key. Even chatting with the neighbors helps. I'll be farther from my current friends, closer to some old friends from a previous life. I'll have to make new friends though, as slipping back into the past of a life from years ago won't cut it of course, seeing them sometimes is ok, but the past is gone. One thing I'll never do is imagine he's having a better time of life than I am. How self-defeating! Who wants a man that spends time at so ironically called "gentlemen's clubs". Gentlemen don't go to nude clubs. The IRONY is huge! Yuck. I'd never want that type of man. Maybe Mimi, you don't either!
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