Luv2dance Posted April 2, 2010 Posted April 2, 2010 It seems that there are strong sterotypes of men and women, and I have to wonder it this is creating a big divide in marriages that is hard to overcome. I guess I feel like I am NOT like most women and MH is not like most men so it is hard to get advice and figure out how to fix our issues. I am not a nag and I like sex, but I am emotional and need to feel treasured. MH is like men in some areas, but I have figured out is prob a beta male with a lower libido. So the normal marriage help books don't usually address the issues we have encountered. It just gets so frustrating when reading through the posts about how married women "turn" on their husbands or stop having sex...I want to scream at my computer sometimes I don't hate men or think they are all scum, and I had my share of scum before marriage. In fact, even though I am not extremely happy in my situtation, I would still say MH is a great guy who is just different. Just my thoughts for today...
Fouts Posted April 2, 2010 Posted April 2, 2010 So all that and either hubby has a low sex drive or just isn't very attracted to you anymore? You know, even if you look nice it can be the latter.
Author Luv2dance Posted April 2, 2010 Author Posted April 2, 2010 So all that and either hubby has a low sex drive or just isn't very attracted to you anymore? You know, even if you look nice it can be the latter. Ummm...not sure what this means, but no actually he's got more of a sex drive now than earlier in our marriage...and that has nothing to do with my post??
Fouts Posted April 2, 2010 Posted April 2, 2010 MH is like men in some areas, but I have figured out is prob a beta male with a lower libido. So the normal marriage help books don't usually address the issues we have encountered. I must've misinterpreted this, no biggie
EmmaLou Posted April 3, 2010 Posted April 3, 2010 I completely agree! I read so many threads that make me want to stop coming back here as they generalise so much.. but I am addicted! I want to scream "it's not true!" to all the stereotypes. I don't feel like the typical portrayed couple either.. I love sex, don't nag, make my partner no1 priority... my partner has to be emotionally connected to have sex, adores cuddles that don't lead to anything, is switched off completely to other women. Thankfully more people are speaking up on here and showing they behave/think differently to the stereotypical male or female.. No-one can speak for a whole gender. I have to keep working to block out everything around us that screams "all men would cheat in a heartbeat!", "all women are frigid and hate sex!" etc... I just concentrate on my own relationship and don't judge my partner by other mens actions.
tnttim Posted April 3, 2010 Posted April 3, 2010 play hard to get once in a while. Go out with your friends all night. Try something different to spark his interest. Men are hunters and like prey that is hard to catch You ever see the lion in the zoo, he looks sad and lonely right. He has trouble mating with females because the hunt has been stripped from him. He wants to hunt yet his food is set before him everyday, he doesn't have to chase it. At first it's great, but even lions get complacent, then bored, then lonely. He's not a beta male. We all have alpha males inside of us waiting to be awoken. Wake him up, make him hunt
tnttim Posted April 3, 2010 Posted April 3, 2010 I hate stereotypes, sorry got side tracked. They serve no purpose in my life, yet I know a lot of them. They are hardly ever completely true. The sole purpose of a stereotype is to shut down your thought process and accept it as it is. Life is way too complicated for generalizations, but they serve their purpose for communicating thoughts we cannot explain.
BlueeyedJonesy Posted April 3, 2010 Posted April 3, 2010 The reason it seems there are stereotypes on this forum is because everyone is here because of issues..wether it be no sex..no love...affairs..w/e it is..every couple is different. Thats obvious.. I'm different...just like everyone else on this site...it doesn't mean our problems are any worse or less.
You Go Girl Posted April 7, 2010 Posted April 7, 2010 I completely agree! I read so many threads that make me want to stop coming back here as they generalise so much.. but I am addicted! I want to scream "it's not true!" to all the stereotypes. I don't feel like the typical portrayed couple either.. I love sex, don't nag, make my partner no1 priority... my partner has to be emotionally connected to have sex, adores cuddles that don't lead to anything, is switched off completely to other women. Thankfully more people are speaking up on here and showing they behave/think differently to the stereotypical male or female.. No-one can speak for a whole gender. I have to keep working to block out everything around us that screams "all men would cheat in a heartbeat!", "all women are frigid and hate sex!" etc... I just concentrate on my own relationship and don't judge my partner by other mens actions. Ah...the man who is happy with cuddling sometimes. The man who keeps his eyes on the prize. OP--if you think it's bad he has a lesser sex drive than you-- try imagine being with the alpha male that you can't ever tame, that is constantly looking around for eye candy, that can't stop his porn masturbation compulsion no matter how hard he tries. Less testosterone is probably why your guy is beta... I really wonder what it would feel like to have a man that keeps his eyes on the prize--me. You live in my dreamland.
Author Luv2dance Posted April 7, 2010 Author Posted April 7, 2010 play hard to get once in a while. Go out with your friends all night. Try something different to spark his interest. Men are hunters and like prey that is hard to catch You ever see the lion in the zoo, he looks sad and lonely right. He has trouble mating with females because the hunt has been stripped from him. He wants to hunt yet his food is set before him everyday, he doesn't have to chase it. At first it's great, but even lions get complacent, then bored, then lonely. He's not a beta male. We all have alpha males inside of us waiting to be awoken. Wake him up, make him hunt Oh I do have GNO's, even weekend getaways, but I think this really doesn't change much as far as the WANT in him. We never had the all out lust phase and didn't have sex before we got married (he was a virgin) so I really think he just didn't need it like most men. Now, it's even more complicated b/c he is trying to be more receptive and willing and I am not attracted. Ah...the man who is happy with cuddling sometimes. The man who keeps his eyes on the prize. OP--if you think it's bad he has a lesser sex drive than you-- try imagine being with the alpha male that you can't ever tame, that is constantly looking around for eye candy, that can't stop his porn masturbation compulsion no matter how hard he tries. Less testosterone is probably why your guy is beta... I really wonder what it would feel like to have a man that keeps his eyes on the prize--me. You live in my dreamland. I guess it's true we want what we don't have and I know that I am lucky to have a husband who loves me and is a great helpmate. But, we are all different with different needs and wants and I guess I just have wants that aren't being fulfilled...again starting to work on some of these issues!
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