Perhaps Posted April 2, 2010 Posted April 2, 2010 so i answer the phone without looking and it's her - calling to see how i've been doing. she didn't care about me when all i wanted to do was talk to her last year. now she wants to see how i'm doing. of course, everytime she calls to have a "normal conversation", i make her cry and make us fight. i do, i'll admit it. but it's because i'm not okay talking as just friends. she moved on a long time ago. i tried to explain to her that i did everything to get her to give me another chance (i was the one who broke up initially). i tried to explain to her why i can't talk to her and why i always have to ruin a nice chat - it's because i'm not over her. before i could finish that sentence, i heard "i have a boyfriend." and that was it. after everything i did for a whole year. maybe it wasn't meant to be but it stings because it's the same guy she used to flirt with while she knew i was still after her. she told me he was just a friend but i knew his intentions. i'm happy for her - i wish her and her new man happiness - and maybe she really is happier with him. but he will Never be as sincere as me. no other guy she will ever meet will be as honest as me. i'm proud of myself for being there for her unconditionally - whether she wanted me or not. i wanted to show her i could be the one.. whether she saw it or not was upto her. and this goes out to all you dumpees - i was the dumper. but i came back. not just that, i begged and begged for a second chance. and i got it too but she changed her mind and took it away. and i stayed as a friend until i couldn't do it anymore and went NC. my point is - not all dumpees are bad. people make mistakes. i know i'm not perfect. i accept that she can be happier with someone else, i accept that i was a jerk to her at some point. but i loved her from my core and no other man will ever be as committed to her as i was. i wasn't perfect - but i gave it my very best. every time i read a post by a dumpee here, i imagine me being the dumper and i share your pain - i've been a dumper and a dumpee. but i've learned that people make mistakes and poeple grow. it takes a lot to admit your mistakes to another person and for some of us, our exes may never see how much we cared, how hard we tried... as much as it sucks that they never saw that, be proud of yourself for trying. you tried your best and for that very reason, you're a good person. that's not to say your ex is a COMPLETELY horrible, evil person - everyone has done something stupid in their lives. it is arguable that some people don't deserve forgiveness but in my opinion, the healthiest way to move on is to forgive yourself, forgive your ex and take away something positive from the experience. finally, i've learned that not everyone who says 'i love you', means it; not everyone who means it, gets to share that love; and not everyone who shares it, cherishes it. we're all humans - we're not completely logical beings - we make mistakes. accept that life isn't 100% fair but you only have one life and it'd be a shame to waste even a part of this gift. enjoy life to the fullest because time is one thing you can never get back. i wish you all the very best. stay strong and keep smiling.
9Lives Posted April 2, 2010 Posted April 2, 2010 I dont fking blame you for being standoffish. Let her cry and all. I wouldnt want her friendship either.
9Lives Posted April 2, 2010 Posted April 2, 2010 I agree with everything you are saying. Continue to be true to yourself and to keep it real. good job!!
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