kneo Posted April 2, 2010 Posted April 2, 2010 Hi guys, I need help on what advice to give to a friend who is going through a relationship problem. She was involved with a guy in a organisation that they both worked for, and continue to work for. In a nutshell, he turned out to be different to the guy she imagined, and she ended it. While she is over it and wants to get on with her life, the guy is treating her badly. She reports to him and she's finding that he is constantly trying to undermine her, speaks rudely to her - constantly cutting her off, rejecting any useful suggestions she has for her work, etc. My friend has already been through a lot in her life, and i don't like the stress this guy is putting her under. Unfortunately, the organisation is a bit ad-hoc and made up nearly completely of volunteers, so there aren't "official" channels to make a complaint through. Leaving the org is not an option because she is very attached to the work she is doing with them. In summary, how do you handle the situation where you have left someone you used to be involved with, but they are treating you badly? Thanks
USMCHokie Posted April 2, 2010 Posted April 2, 2010 Heh, it's like an episode of Grey's Anatomy...at least hopefully for her, it's a lesson learned...don't sh*t where you eat... But other than that, I don't really have any other insight, as I've never put myself into such a situation where I couldn't just get myself out of that environment...is there any other department or section in the organization that she could transfer to where she wouldn't be working directly for said douche...?
Author kneo Posted April 2, 2010 Author Posted April 2, 2010 No, i don't think there is any other dept. where she can transfer to. Lately, it seems that he is manouvering himself into positions where she will have to work more with him. She reckons that he is trying to punish her/make her life difficult for leaving him.
LisaUk Posted April 2, 2010 Posted April 2, 2010 HI, there are employment laws that she could take legal advice on or if he is harrassing her she can seek an injunction to stop it that way. Both options are fairly drastic and a last resort, is there someone more senior she could speak to in the organization first?
Author kneo Posted April 3, 2010 Author Posted April 3, 2010 Hi Lisa, Those suggestions are good, but she wants to try and deal with it without getting others involved. It seems like what she really needs is some kind of emotional support - or advice which will toughen her up in face of this guys's bully tactics. Thanks.
LucreziaBorgia Posted April 3, 2010 Posted April 3, 2010 She can't change his behavior or do much to make it bearable. What she can do is pick up a book about verbal self defense - that might help her learn some verbal/body language cues that will at least defuse this guy's behavior some.
Sevenscars Posted April 3, 2010 Posted April 3, 2010 I think that your friend should revel in the fact that this guy is treating her nasty. After all, it means he's uncomfortable with the situation. Obviously this guy is mad at being rejected, and taking it out on the rejector. My only advice to your friend is to hold her head high, and not be bothered by people trying to bring her down.
Recommended Posts