Amber1981 Posted April 1, 2010 Posted April 1, 2010 Hi, I'm new to forums and this is pretty much my only source of advice as I think i've driven everyone else around me insane from constant talking about my ex.. Ok so here's the story - I was together with my ex for just under a year... we met randomly met through friends and just hit it off, and pretty much saw each other almost every day if not every other day. anyway most of the time things were always good between us, then he just kind of turned and went cold. no proper explanation, he hasn't taken any of my calls, never responds to my texts, but he texts me when ever which confuses me more...i have tried so many times to ask him or broach the subjuct but don't want to come across as too pushy or like some kind of stalker, but the lack of closure has just broken my heart meaning i cannot understand and respect his decision.. sometimes he texts me kisses but if i get back he doesn't respond i'm just totally at a loss as to what he's doing.... i would do anything to try get this back on track as it just doesn't make any sense to me. i feel so sad all the time and cannot seem to just let it go..i really want to try get back together but i just don't even know where to start....
bucky112 Posted April 1, 2010 Posted April 1, 2010 Hey there Well as a guy myself ill try and help you out. Unfortantly i think hes lost interest in you to a degree, if he had feelings for you he would certainly return your calls and not to text back is plain rude in my eyes. As for texting you its too boost his ego trust me, it will make him happy that your still so into him and as bad as it is he'll get a rise off it. Another option is that he's seeing another girl and keeping his options open with you if it doesnt work out, basically your second best at the moment. As for not knowing where u stand, its simple phone the guy and ask him. You WILL feel better knowing where u stand and can move on if needed, if hes any sort of decent guy he'll atleast tell you exactly whats going on and his feelings. Honestly the guy is using you, i would try and move on as fast as possible your only gonna get more attached and hurt in the long run. Sorry if this isnt what u wanted to hear its just my interpretation. Hope it works out well tho!
paleblue Posted April 2, 2010 Posted April 2, 2010 heyAmber, you shouldnt feel nervous to ask him after spending almost a year together. i can see if it was the second week and you havent even xoxo'd but a year later i think you have all rights to ask hey what's up. and if you feel like you have to walk on egg shells over it than there is a problem. you are not being pushy or stalkerish by just asking him yo dude what is up. i mean youre in this too right? your feelings, you guys are sharing time, romance all that togther, so its not just him in this. right now it sounds like he is what we call having his cake and eating it too. and he is doing it at your expense. first thing you should probably do is toughen up a lil. i mean there have to be some boundaries right? i mean it cant be all his way and not yours? it should be 50/50. i dont think you are really ok with being a doormat for him are you? i know you prob love the guy, but that doesnt give him the right to play with your feelings? and if he does you gotta wonder does he respect you? i dont think he sounds all that interested anymore to be honest and i am sorry. right now he knows you are at his beck and call , so whenever he feels like he needs a boost for his ego he texts you. its not that he wants to be with you, but you make him feel better when you respond to him. he knows he still has you on the hook. im also going to have to agree with a lot of what bucky said.
Author Amber1981 Posted April 2, 2010 Author Posted April 2, 2010 thanks guys, i really appreciate the insight...to be honest my friends have pretty much said the same thing, and that im just feeding his ego every time i give in and text back. i really have tried so many times to get him to at least talk to me about the real reason why he went cold - to at least give me some closure so i can just accept it and move on. but he just never picks up my calls, and the odd occassion he has i get less than 1 min and then he says ill call u back - obv he never does. im not into making someone be with me if they just dont want to, i guess for me its just the fact that he was with me for so long and has pretty much just discarded me so coldly. im trying to get my head round it and see it as his own personal choice or watever but it does get hard not taking it personally and thats what gets me down so much. i just feel like theres this massive hole in my stomach that fills with this pain i cant close off because i just dont know what went wrong or if i did something. i hate feeling this way because i always thought of myself as being alot stronger. i just feel so weak emotionally at the moment like im being torn into shreds and im letting it happen. that much i take responsibility for. i always used to say to my girlfriends if a guys attention isnt on u its bound to be on sumone else, and 9 times out of 10 ur gut will tell u. in this case sumthing doesnt sit rite and im not sure if thats due to the lack of clarity or if im picking up on something else. u know if it is a case of hes into someone else, fine. but then why keep getting in touch with me? i just feel so incredibly let down that i trusted this guy and now he can treat me the way he has. i really felt he loved me back how i loved him but now im left with this horrible feeling that it was just BS and i feel like such an idiot. i just wonder how some people just dont have any concern for anyone else but themself... i dunno, i just want to be able to get up and not automatically think of him and chek my fone like sum nut case in case ive been "lucky" enough to get a text from him. God this sucks.
EYECANDY000 Posted April 2, 2010 Posted April 2, 2010 why are you being so considerate of his feelings, but he isn't doing the same.? Why do you feel like you can't address the situation without seeming like a stalker? If you are questioning his actions, and its disrupting your feelings towards him, then you need to let him know. Stop tip toeing around him. A person will only treat you how you allow them to. You letting him get away with texting, callsing, but then when you reciprocate you get no answe is unacceptable.
Author Amber1981 Posted April 2, 2010 Author Posted April 2, 2010 i guess I just didnt want to push him away any further...sad but true im afraid i have tried being cut throat about it and near enuff demanding an explanation but it just ends with my getting no response and feeling crap. then i end up apologising. i know it sounds pathetic, i just didn't want to drive him further away
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