bananaboat11 Posted April 1, 2010 Posted April 1, 2010 she's basically saying you're ugly. or you're friendship material.
USMCHokie Posted April 1, 2010 Posted April 1, 2010 Especially when she says it with one of these faces: "Uh...you're cute..."
bayouboi Posted April 1, 2010 Posted April 1, 2010 Death sentence. I get it all the time. At least old ladies call me handsome. Don't think I've ever been referred to as sexy, though.
Yamaha Posted April 1, 2010 Posted April 1, 2010 I disagree. Depends on the context it was said. Cute means your above average good looking is better than cute hot is at the top of the sex appeal chart
Author bananaboat11 Posted April 1, 2010 Author Posted April 1, 2010 unfortunately... i've heard it all. I've had attractive girls call me handome. sexy BODY. attractive face. never been told to drop dead... or called ugly to my face. I just think I'm ugly. heh. Apparently, i'm not. IDGI. Oh... and I've been called cute. love it. and I think once or twice i've been called ugly, but that was over 5+ years ago... when I was more 'round'. heh
bac Posted April 1, 2010 Posted April 1, 2010 it means she is openly flirting with a man for a moment. It does not mean anything more than that.
Disintegration Posted April 1, 2010 Posted April 1, 2010 I don't see cute as being a negative thing. I'm sure someone would prefer to hear fine, sexy, hot, atrractive and so forth, but cute is just another way I would express myself in telling someone they are good looking.
carhill Posted April 1, 2010 Posted April 1, 2010 I recall the last time that happened to me. It was a bit more descriptive, specifying parts. It was the beginning of a fidelity examination couched as flattery. Meh... IMO, look at the totality of the situation; actions and words. Then do what *you* want to do. Forget about figuring out what she means or thinks. Waste of time.
pandagirl Posted April 1, 2010 Posted April 1, 2010 I call my boyfriend cute all the time! I asked him if it bothered him, and he was like, "no!" Personally, using the words "hot" and "sexy" feel really cheesy coming out of my mouth.
soulm8 Posted April 1, 2010 Posted April 1, 2010 Any time I've told a man he was cute... it was because I thought he was adorable. In fact, I told my current bf he was cute before we even met... because of his sense of humour. It's easier to say, "aww, you're so cute!" rather than, "wow! You are soooooo adorable that I MUST meet you NOW!" (Mind you, I'm reserved and careful while getting to know someone). Interestingly enough, my calling him "cute" made me stand out. Apparently no woman has ever called him cute before... sexy, handsome, hot, etc... can get boring and old, for both genders. I think cute is quite complimentary and says more along the lines of liking one's personality more than judging them by their looks. I don't see how cute can be taken negatively. wow
Author bananaboat11 Posted April 1, 2010 Author Posted April 1, 2010 Any time I've told a man he was cute... it was because I thought he was adorable. In fact, I told my current bf he was cute before we even met... because of his sense of humour. It's easier to say, "aww, you're so cute!" rather than, "wow! You are soooooo adorable that I MUST meet you NOW!" (Mind you, I'm reserved and careful while getting to know someone). Interestingly enough, my calling him "cute" made me stand out. Apparently no woman has ever called him cute before... sexy, handsome, hot, etc... can get boring and old, for both genders. I think cute is quite complimentary and says more along the lines of liking one's personality more than judging them by their looks. I don't see how cute can be taken negatively. wow I met a girl this past weekend... she told me I was adorable... I didn't know how to take that!
carhill Posted April 1, 2010 Posted April 1, 2010 I don't see how cute can be taken negatively. wow It can be a trigger word, regardless of intent, depending on one's history and psychology. Has a man ever said an otherwise completely innocent phrase or word which triggered in you negative reactions based on your life history? Think about that. If, in my experience, 'cute' has been the harbinger of the friendzone or manipulation, and only that, it would take an incredible leap of faith to believe it to be otherwise, especially with little or no support in action for the word. IOW, if the word doesn't match the circumstances and actions, I'm suspicious. Color me as cynical and bitter as you might like, but that's the reality of living. Having a lifetime of offending women with seemingly caring and sincere remarks, I know I have plenty of company
DustySaltus Posted April 1, 2010 Posted April 1, 2010 Cute –adjective 1. attractive, esp. in a dainty way; pleasingly pretty: a cute child; a cute little apartment. 2. affectedly or mincingly pretty or clever; precious: The child has acquired some intolerably cute mannerisms. 3. mentally keen; clever; shrewd.
soulm8 Posted April 1, 2010 Posted April 1, 2010 I met a girl this past weekend... she told me I was adorable... I didn't know how to take that! Adorable's a huge compliment! I suppose it depends on the woman the words are coming from, her body language... and your rapport with her.
soulm8 Posted April 1, 2010 Posted April 1, 2010 It can be a trigger word, regardless of intent, depending on one's history and psychology. Has a man ever said an otherwise completely innocent phrase or word which triggered in you negative reactions based on your life history? Think about that. If, in my experience, 'cute' has been the harbinger of the friendzone or manipulation, and only that, it would take an incredible leap of faith to believe it to be otherwise, especially with little or no support in action for the word. IOW, if the word doesn't match the circumstances and actions, I'm suspicious. Color me as cynical and bitter as you might like, but that's the reality of living. Having a lifetime of offending women with seemingly caring and sincere remarks, I know I have plenty of company I absolutely agree. ANYTIME, a man has told me, "you're so beautiful"... I have to force myself NOT to roll my eyes and graciously say, thank you.
carhill Posted April 1, 2010 Posted April 1, 2010 Yes, that is something I'm constantly conscious of, due to my own experiences, and can't ever recall making such remarks to women whom I don't know and with whom I don't have rapport, where my actions match the words I'm saying. The downside risk is, since women like yourself are used to such remarks, even if you are suspicious, that a man who doesn't immediately say such things might be perceived by you to not find you attractive. Think about that dynamic and who the 'successful' men have been for you. How was that risk managed? Did you respond more positively to the more sexually and verbally aggressive male? To me, this is part of the dynamic of want and attraction matching up. I recognize the desire to be found attractive and that is a component of attraction but it has to match up with the rest of the equation, which is found in 'want', meaning perception of circumstance, action and the intellectual process of that. Explaining this sounds tedious, but, in practice, it is seamless. Like you, I do say 'thank you'. I mean it in the sincere sense as a response to a compliment graciously offered. Then I watch for actions to match that compliment.
silic0ntoad Posted April 1, 2010 Posted April 1, 2010 I personally despise being called cute. I am a big guy, 6'2'', 200 lbs... Not exactly the definition of cute. Sure, some people may think my avatar pic is cute, but it also doesn't show me with my lip ring in, or my tattoos... Plus my ex used to call me cute. Ugh. Makes me want to spit venom at whoever calls me that.
threebyfate Posted April 1, 2010 Posted April 1, 2010 A word to all the female members of LS. The safest way to compliment a man is not to say anything at all. Each and every word can and will be misconstrued!
carhill Posted April 1, 2010 Posted April 1, 2010 The safest way to compliment a man is by a woman's positive presence and consistent interest
soulm8 Posted April 1, 2010 Posted April 1, 2010 The downside risk is, since women like yourself are used to such remarks, even if you are suspicious, that a man who doesn't immediately say such things might be perceived by you to not find you attractive. Think about that dynamic and who the 'successful' men have been for you. How was that risk managed? Did you respond more positively to the more sexually and verbally aggressive male? To me, this is part of the dynamic of want and attraction matching up. I recognize the desire to be found attractive and that is a component of attraction but it has to match up with the rest of the equation, which is found in 'want', meaning perception of circumstance, action and the intellectual process of that. Explaining this sounds tedious, but, in practice, it is seamless. Like you, I do say 'thank you'. I mean it in the sincere sense as a response to a compliment graciously offered. Then I watch for actions to match that compliment. Actually, such remarks automatically make ME think... "hmmm, he's only noticing my packaging" - Perhaps I'm an odd duck, but I prefer to be admired for who I am on the inside: personality, humour, intellect, etc. In my personal experience, men who focus on complimenting LOOKS over anything else (style, hair, quirks, etc.) strike me as simply wanting to get into my pants... instant turnoff!! There's definitely a fine line especially trying to find that line with a new "beautiful or handsome" stranger. I once read somewhere that a man's best bet is to make a woman feel secure in his presence... don't give her any creepy vibes, or reasons to second guess your intentions. That made sense to me, but I'm also not the type to jump right into anything sexual any way. It totally depends on the woman and the desired outcome. For a relationship-minded woman, like myself, I appreciate building a rapport on friendship, mutual interests, laughing, and "innocent" compliments in the beginning. To me, "innocent" compliments would be a comment about my eyes, hair, perfume, clothing, legs, ... something obvious but not overly sexual and preferably something unique about me. Just something that shows me that he's checking me out and finds me more attractive or desireable over an other woman... tricky.
threebyfate Posted April 1, 2010 Posted April 1, 2010 The safest way to compliment a man is by a woman's positive presence and consistent interest If the complimentary word "cute" can be misconstrued as a negative, then positive presence and consistent interest can be misconstrued as "neediness" or "crowding".
silic0ntoad Posted April 1, 2010 Posted April 1, 2010 The safest way to compliment a man is by a woman's positive presence and consistent interest +1. THis about sums it up 100%.
SilkRose Posted April 1, 2010 Posted April 1, 2010 Cute can be a polite way of saying average looking and not sexually attractive.
Kamille Posted April 1, 2010 Posted April 1, 2010 Words don't really matter. It's tone of voice, actions and body-language that count. consider: yeah, (I guess) he's cute and He's cU-ute. (with accent on the U)
carhill Posted April 1, 2010 Posted April 1, 2010 'That outfit looks wonderful on you' Recently said by myself to my best friend's wife.... If the complimentary word "cute" can be misconstrued as a negative, then positive presence and consistent interest can be misconstrued as "neediness" or "crowding". Words without action are like flatulence
Recommended Posts