Stephxx Posted April 1, 2010 Posted April 1, 2010 My boyfriend of 2 years admitted he was tempted. He said we were going through a "rough patch". I'm just not sure if one day he may act on it.. I don't know if I should stay or go...
ADF Posted April 1, 2010 Posted April 1, 2010 All men (and, I suspect, all women) are tempted to cheat now and then. That, in itself, means nothing. The fact your BF TOLD you he was tempted to cheat makes me think that maybe he did cheat, and was trying to feel out how you might react to the news.
Author Stephxx Posted April 1, 2010 Author Posted April 1, 2010 He admitted because I had found he was looking at a few girls facebook profiles ( I know having a bit of a browse is harmless, but the response I got does not make it so harmless ) He knows the girls because they work next door to him, he said he has never spoken to them, I then asked how he knew their names and he said his work mate had told him.. I feel threatened and betrayed and I shouldn't have to feel that way. I also feel it is so out of charactor for him because I would never have imagined those words coming out of his mouth and in my eyes I thought everything between us were fine..
reservoirdog1 Posted April 1, 2010 Posted April 1, 2010 The fact your BF TOLD you he was tempted to cheat makes me think that maybe he did cheat, and was trying to feel out how you might react to the news. That's definitely possible. It's also possible that you two have sufficiently good communication between you that he's raising it in the hopes that the two of you can do something about it now, before "tempted to cheat" becomes "actual cheating". If you don't find any other evidence to indicate that he already has cheated, I think you should treat his words as a wakeup call. If he hasn't already cheated, his words are not enough to warrant a breakup in and of themselves. And if he hasn't already cheated, you should grab hold of this as an opportunity to fix whatever he sees as wrong in the relationship, or at least find out definitively what problem he sees. If he were completely happy in the relationship, he probably wouldn't have been tempted. I'm not saying the problem can definitely be solved. But at least you have an opportunity to find out what the problem is, before the damage is permanent.
Dexter Morgan Posted April 1, 2010 Posted April 1, 2010 My boyfriend of 2 years admitted he was tempted. He said we were going through a "rough patch". I'm just not sure if one day he may act on it.. I don't know if I should stay or go... you should go. someone like that you will never be able to trust.
Dexter Morgan Posted April 1, 2010 Posted April 1, 2010 All men (and, I suspect, all women) are tempted to cheat now and then. dont think so. I've never been tempted to cheat, assuming the definition means an opportunity presents itself and one is really thinking about giving in or wants to. opportunity has definitely presented itself to me when I was in committed relationships, although flattering, I didn't want to cheat. I wouldn't do that to someone I claim to love.
dazzle22 Posted April 1, 2010 Posted April 1, 2010 I am always less trusting when people cop to things only after they are caught at something, rather than coming clean because of their own consciences. Also, if he is in his early 20's, I would trust him less, as he may feel he hasn't had a chance for variety and is "missing out"
Chloe1 Posted April 3, 2010 Posted April 3, 2010 Hi Steph Sorry to hear about your situation. Would you be interested in reading a book that will explain the real reasons why men want to cheat? I think the book can help you out immensely. Maybe you should give it a try. I can email you a copy. -- Chloe
Nikki Sahagin Posted April 3, 2010 Posted April 3, 2010 I agree with dazzle. If someone is thinking or acting on something that is damaging to the relationship and they TELL you, then that is worth sticking by i.e. 'I cheated', 'i'm bored', 'we should do more' etc. The honesty of their fault at least means you can trust them. When a partner only admits to something when cornered, they are a liar and even if they do not cheat, they will lie about SOMETHING. Its up to you whether you choose to give him the benefit of the doubt or decide you do not want to run the risk of being lied to again. Its not so much that he was tempted to cheat (this is pretty normal, especially if you've been with someone a long time and especially in our society where we are surrounded by constant temptations) but it is that he is having these conversations behind your back.
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