Himynameis Posted April 1, 2010 Posted April 1, 2010 (edited) Been a reader of the site since my break up last year, first post though. So, ill try and cut the story as short as possible. I was with my ex for 3 1/2 years. First serious relationship, first girl I slept with, first girl I really loved. All came crashing down last summer. Mainly my fault, the last year wasn't healthy, I spent most of my time out with friends or doing work towards my degree. She got fed up, ended it. Got into a new relationship. I was crushed. I tried to go NC, but I was really close friends with this girl for 2 years before we got together, and we went through school together, so ive known her most of my life. So it was tough. Everytime I did, I felt like I was making progress, but then she'd contact me, and I'd fall straight back to where I was when she ended things. Theres been countless times since we broke up where we've had late night conversations ending in "I miss you" and "I love you". Even though she was in a long term relationship with another dude. Ive dated another girl since then, but always held hope I'd end up getting back with my ex. All becouse I couldn't stick to no contact, and kept getting my hopes built up. We even ended up kissing at the start February. You'd think at that point, for the sake of her new relationship she'd want to be NC to, but no, we still continued talking on a semi regular basis. All these things, the kiss, the I love yous, the fact her new relationship was a total rebound, where all perfect ingredients to add to my hope. Then I get a phonecall from her at 7 this morning. The hope monster was practically ripping its way out of my chest when I saw her name on the caller I.D. Brief summary of the conversation - "Hey. This is really hard for me, but I wanted you to hear it from me. Im pregnant." Soon as I put down the phone I had to go to the toilet to vomit. I feel exactly the same as I did 9 months ago when we first split. She was full of apologies, telling me it wasn't planned but I'd zoned out by that point anyway. I'm about to turn 22 this month, so I realise im still young and have most of my life ahead of me, but honestly, I feel dead inside. I just wish I had an off switch I could push right now. I guess I failed at keeping that short. I guess even just typing is keeping my mind busy. I know if id not spoke to my ex from the moment we split, id of taken this news better. Id still be cut up, but not feeling the way I am now. 9 months down the line and im still as in love with this girl as I was 3 years ago when things where perfect between us. I don't know where im going to go from here, but what I do know is that this morning will be the last conversation I have with her. It may seem bitter, but im never going to beable to move on otherwise. Its going to be hard, we have a big history, and only live 5-10 minutes away from each other. But its the only way. Damn, my head feels so so messed up right now . Edited April 1, 2010 by Himynameis
sao2 Posted April 1, 2010 Posted April 1, 2010 Sorry to hear dude, I think you answered your own question though. Chances are that you idealized her in your mind and she is not the great, amazing woman you remember. I am sure she is pretty awesome but there is bound to be someone coming along who while she may not make you forget her, will make living without her bearable.
Author Himynameis Posted April 1, 2010 Author Posted April 1, 2010 Your probably right. I forgot to mention to main point of my post, I guess I got to caught up in the explanation. But yeah, no contact? do it. Obviously this situation isn't overly common, but I think NC also helps kill the hope you might hold of getting back together, so when you do get news like this, be it an engagement, ex moving in with new partner ect ect, it'll be easier to deal with.
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