LostInLimbo Posted April 1, 2010 Posted April 1, 2010 Looking to get many 2nd opinions if I can, or some will be fine.... many ppl if you read my posts, knows I went through problems with the same girl (31)..... 1. Broke Up With Me, Cheated, Came Back (Months Later) 2. Broke Up With Me, Cheated, Came Back (Months Later) 3. Came Home,no Letter just gone, came back...(Months later, Kids used in this one to help get me back, my weak point) 4. Walked Out again, told through a Text Msg she was leaving me... 2 young children involved (in there fathers care), took her back 4 times over 4 yrs, not my children, but still hurt, loved the kids.... I have stayed NC since she walked out, with exception of one text I sent couple weeks later, but have been NC since that time 2 months ago...and so had she, with exception of one text to me, which I never replied, a month ago... I (40)have never had closure for myself in any of these Breakups, because she always seemed to text me during our breakups....but as mentioned, I have not heard from her in a month or so... I wrote a letter telling her how I felt, not an angry letter and how I wished her well, with who ever she spent her life with, as well as the kids..should I send it? I have been hesitant, because I felt it may blow her ego up and say to herself, look I still have him hooked as I have always...etc.... I am not looking to rekindle, just to get things off my chest... I think I know what to do (explains why I haven't sent it and most likely won't), but advice will be nice.... LiL
txsilkysmoothe Posted April 1, 2010 Posted April 1, 2010 Getting things off your chest should be satisfied by the mere act of writing the letter. Your closure cannot be dependent on anything outside of your control such as knowing she read the the letter or a response to the letter. Your history with her indicates you are far too susceptible to her will. Writing her will only increase the likelihood she will re-appear in your life. Are you sure that is not your secret hope?
GrayClouds Posted April 1, 2010 Posted April 1, 2010 No letter it will just as you say build her ego and tell her you are waiting for her to play the game one more time. No one can give you closure, you have to make you own. You do that by place focus on yourself and your healing. Finding how to find happiness with yourself, figuring out how you learned that putting up with this behavior is anything close to love. It is hard, but you have to let her go this time for good, you deserve better then this. Believe that.
Author LostInLimbo Posted April 1, 2010 Author Posted April 1, 2010 As always, on here, great advice, the type I would give, just hard to follow ones own, better to hear it from others, as more supportive.. Hi TXSilk, I know what you mean, but absolutely no secret way of getting her back, been there a few times, just felt now I have been silent all 4 times, with little blurbs and speaches to say what I wanted, when she came back, but now its been built up for so so long, wanted my final closure. I won't send the letter, it actually did help me lots, just writting it, as GC says, I do need to just FOCUS on my healing and it has been hard...but I think to myself alot of times, I had no control, I never left, she left me... Thank You.... LiL
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