sarah1268 Posted April 1, 2010 Posted April 1, 2010 A few weeks ago my 20 yr old bf and i were talking about moving out together. I don’t like living at home and i really want to move out, my other mates are happy with their living arrangements and when i mentioned this to my bf said he OFFERED ( note i didn’t ask him) . He was keen and we even started looking for places. I work in the city and drive over an hour to work, he works local and drives 20mins. As soon as he found out we couldn’t afford to move closer to HIS work, he said i will have to think about it. Then last night he tells me that his two mates asked him to move into a house with them in a suburb that he wants. I was upset, it felt like i was dogged by my best friend. I was really upset and crying, not just because im not moving out with him, but he was my last chance to move out at all. Even after I told him this, he said i was being melodramatic and its too much to ask of him. When he told me this i was devastated, he knew how badly i want to move out of home and simply because its an extra 10 minutes away he said its too inconvenient for him. Even though i get up an hour before him! He doesn’t get that this reflects on how much he loves me, i know that i would do the same for him in a heartbeat The worst part is that his best mate who he is going to share with is jealous of me spending time with my bf, and i know i would feel uncomfortable staying at a house i wasn’t renting. He said but” u can stay over all the time” obviously he hasn’t considered the other boys who don’t have gfs and i would hate it Even after listing all these points and listening to his point of view ( which was basically i don’t wanna move 10 mins away) he still thinks Im ridiculous. He says that Im his everything, hes even said he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. How can i possibly believe this if he can do this? Basically i want to know if im overreacting, I didn’t force him in the slightest, and its like when a better offer came up he takes it and doesn’t give a **** about how unhappy i am at home. Am i overreacting? Or is he being selfish and looking out for himself? Would you say this relationship has a future?
SecretSquirrel Posted April 1, 2010 Posted April 1, 2010 Straight up: I don't see your point of view. I don't think it's healthy for you to rely on your boyfriend for your happiness and well-being, and it's not fair to him for you to do so. It also sounds as though you and your boyfriend have an unhealthy dynamic in regards to communication. It's hard to get the whole/accurate story from your post, but there are certainly issues here. If you are truly so incredibly unhappy with your living situation, I suggest you check out the classifieds/internet and find someone who is looking for a roommate.
boogieboy Posted April 1, 2010 Posted April 1, 2010 You are over-reacting. This doesnt reflect on how much he loves you, it shows how selfish you are. Everything in what you said is about how YOU NEED to move out, not whether or not he will be as happy with the move as you would be. Consider yourself lucky, if he doesnt want to move, you dont want to force him, or else you guys would be miserable. If you need to move out now, then do it on your own and dont depend on him. Even if you have to move 2 hours away from work. If he doesnt like it, he can move in with you or stuff it....but you moved, and its all about you.
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